booboomane Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 or atleast like i feel like this is. I have a lifelong friend of mine (shes a female) that has always had a crush on me and hasnt been shy about it. But the fact of the matter is I just flat out dont feel the same way. But heres where the problem lies...... I constantly get ridiculed by mutual friends because of this. "Why wont you date her?" "You guys would be perfect!" yada yada. Ive even been INSULTED by our friends because I lack intrest. Which brings me to the title of this thread. Would it be the same if it were the other way around? Wouldnt i be getting more "get over it bros" or "shes just not that into you there are other fish in the sea" lines?
preraph Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 I think it's just unusual all around to have friends trying to push you toward dating someone you don't want to date, so hard to answer your question. Maybe they just think you are passing up a "good time"? Doesn't sound like it, but I don't know why they'd be invested in this, honestly. Why doesn't one of them date her?
mrldii Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Sorry, OP, there's no double standard on this one. Every single woman has been pushed by a friend (to date her brother), a mother (to date the pimply-faced boy next door), or a co-worker ("but, he's such a niiiiiiice guuuuuuy") when she just isn't feeling it. The only main difference (generally-speaking) is most women have at least one time in their lives actually gone out with That Guy and learned their lesson the hard way. Nope...successful dating and relating depends on mutual attraction. 2
NTV Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Dude there are about 8 million double standard gender things you're gonna find over the course of your life. Accept and move on or fight the good fight and find out nothing really changed. Your choice.
NTV Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 To be fair I'm thinking he's referring to the ridicules more so than the one sided crush thing.
jay1983 Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 No double standard here. Plenty of women also have people telling them that they should date some nice guy that they aren't even slightly interested in. This is not a gender specific problem. I think it hits women harder. They're expected to be the less superficial sex and date the "nice guy", 1
mrldii Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 To be fair I'm thinking he's referring to the ridicules more so than the one sided crush thing. Oh, if that's what OP meant, then I'll agree that generally-speaking, men probably do get more "ridiculed" for it. Generally-speaking, women get more "chastised" for it. But, really, that's two sides of the same coin...as with most 'double standards with the sexes', the difference is simply in the delivery. 2
Author booboomane Posted May 15, 2016 Author Posted May 15, 2016 This............ To be fair I'm thinking he's referring to the ridicules more so than the one sided crush thing.
Author booboomane Posted May 15, 2016 Author Posted May 15, 2016 Mmmmm you read way too much into my comment. Dude there are about 8 million double standard gender things you're gonna find over the course of your life. Accept and move on or fight the good fight and find out nothing really changed. Your choice.
SwordofFlame Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Does this woman have trouble attracting men in general? Maybe your friends just want to help her out?
Author booboomane Posted May 15, 2016 Author Posted May 15, 2016 No not to my knowledge. Shes had a couple boyfriends the past few years and isnt bad looking. But it really isnt fair to make me feel like an ass or a jerk because i dont feel the same way. Just to lay out a couple of quotes ive heard "Yall are meant to be you just wont realize it" "like, its not like you are gonna go out and find anybody else or anybody better." Does this woman have trouble attracting men in general? Maybe your friends just want to help her out?
Wave Rider Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 I do think there's a double standard here. If the man is interested and the woman isn't, then he's told he needs to back off, give her some space, and let her be independent and let her choose who she wants to date. If the woman is interested and the man isn't, then he is told he needs to stop being so shallow, stop swinging for the fence, stop being so picky, and give her a chance.
JustGettingBy Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Dude there are about 8 million double standard gender things you're gonna find over the course of your life. Accept and move on or fight the good fight and find out nothing really changed. Your choice. Ahhh,, everyone's an ******* which makes being an ******* okay. Got it!
Jabron1 Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 (edited) or atleast like i feel like this is. I have a lifelong friend of mine (shes a female) that has always had a crush on me and hasnt been shy about it. But the fact of the matter is I just flat out dont feel the same way. But heres where the problem lies...... I constantly get ridiculed by mutual friends because of this. "Why wont you date her?" "You guys would be perfect!" yada yada. Ive even been INSULTED by our friends because I lack intrest. Which brings me to the title of this thread. Would it be the same if it were the other way around? Wouldnt i be getting more "get over it bros" or "shes just not that into you there are other fish in the sea" lines? I don't think this is a double standard. People just like to play the match-maker. The real problem here is that you are letting your friends insult you. You need to establish boundaries with people. But it really isnt fair to make me feel like an ass or a jerk because i dont feel the same way. Being a 'jerk' is usually just not doing things that other people want - like a good tool. Just laugh at it. Just to lay out a couple of quotes ive heard "Yall are meant to be you just wont realize it" "like, its not like you are gonna go out and find anybody else or anybody better." "If I wanted your opinion, I'd have asked for it." That second quoted line is someone really pushing their luck by the way. Edited May 16, 2016 by Jabron1
frus69 Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 "like, its not like you are gonna go out and find anybody else or anybody better." lol .. OP do you have trouble finding GF in general? If not, I don't see why they worry who you date. Anyway I don't think there are double standards in this. My friend (girl) has also been pushed to go out with a few guys who aren't her type. And the friends who push her basically tell her to stay real, the guys she likes are too good for her. She just deserves to be with those ones she doesn't find all that attractive.
Jabron1 Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 lol .. OP do you have trouble finding GF in general? If not, I don't see why they worry who you date. Anyway I don't think there are double standards in this. My friend (girl) has also been pushed to go out with a few guys who aren't her type. And the friends who push her basically tell her to stay real, the guys she likes are too good for her. She just deserves to be with those ones she doesn't find all that attractive. Matchmaking among friends and family is completely normal - they don't have to be a d*ck about it though. Having the cheek to say something like that shows a complete lack of respect. I'd reconsider how friendly you want to be with these 'friends'.
Recommended Posts