TextnHate Posted May 14, 2016 Posted May 14, 2016 (edited) So I have been seeing this girl for alittle over a month. We went out for a few dates and all went very well. She said she was really happy she could be her self around me and felt extremely comfortable. We text just about every day, mostly brief just seeing how are days are going. Well on our thrid date I invited her over. This girl let me say off is sort of a conservative type. Very good on her shoulders and has very little to no drama in her life. Has three kids that are teenagers. Well she came over and we spent all day together. We ended up sleeping together which completely surprised me. She initiated it all which I even asked if she was sure which she responded she wanted to. She asked me if I wanted to go with her to this circus event that was coming to town which I told her I would love to. After a few days she texted me saying she still had feelings for her ex which they broke up over a year ago. He lives half way across the country and she said the never speak. I was completely taken back by this. I told her I had feeling for her but I can back off if she needs the space. She mentioned before she loves the attention and how I want to spend time with her cause most guys lose interest. Well she said she just wants to take things one step at a time and I said that was fine. The thing that throws this all off balance is that she said she still wants to go to the circus and asked if her kids went would that bother me. I said thats fine and it will be fun. Im sort of getting the feeling she hasnt broken off the circus date is shes really to nice of a person to break plans like that. She would feel bad but maybe im just looking at this wrong. She has really been distant from me for the last five days and hardly talking to me. I went to delete my online dating profile account and I noticed she recently added hers. It kind of bummed me out but nothing I can really do about it. Im not even sure if I should go with her if its a lost cause. What do you guys think. Edited May 14, 2016 by TextnHate
preraph Posted May 14, 2016 Posted May 14, 2016 Well, since you have said that all things about her point to someone pretty stable and balanced (I especially like that she's not insecure and neither are you and are just texting once a day), I would call her comment about the ex honesty. Now, to be fair, do you really know anyone who is truly "over" their ex? Whose ex doesn't still get to them in one way or another, either make them really mad or make them resentful or sad? I think you should go to the circus. Assume she is having interaction with her ex because they always will. They have 3 kids together. Not at this date, but at the next one after, when you are alone, ask her if she thinks about getting back together with her ex. See if she's just still emotional or if she's actually rational and knows that would never work but just thought you ought to know she's got emotions about the divorce still. Seeing him can't be easy for her one way or the other. Maybe she'll just end up really liking you enough to take her mind off them and their problems. Good luck.
Author TextnHate Posted May 14, 2016 Author Posted May 14, 2016 I should clear something up. The father of her kids is her ex husband which they are completely done. She has zero interset in ever getting back with him. The ex she is having feelings for is a boyfriend after her marriage. She told me the only reason they aren't together is they live 1500 miles apart. The night she came over and while we were laying in bed we talked about relationships and I sort of tried to steer the conversation in finding out in what direction she saw us going. It kind of fell flat and she didnt say much. It wasnt a over bearing conversation, I just told her that someone asked me out which is true and I declined cause im interested in someone. She just smiled and that was that. Also what confuses me is why she reopened her online dating profile. I dont know the whole thing is starting to make me insecure but im giving her space.
smackie9 Posted May 14, 2016 Posted May 14, 2016 She dropped the bomb to pretty much to tell you she's not interested in something serious....well at least not with you. If it were me I wouldn't waste my time. Her excuse is just one of those lame ass excuses that women will use....
Jabron1 Posted May 14, 2016 Posted May 14, 2016 What do you guys think. I think people make life hard for themselves. Look, I don't like the circus. And, I certainly wouldn't want to go there with her and three screaming children. If you want to go, then go. If not, then don't. As for the stuff about her ex, why let that bother you? why do you care that she opens an online dating profile? Don't try to force things. Take them (or leave them) for what they are, and you'll be a happy chappy.
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