Why can't daters be honest with each other when rejecting someone?

[Philosopher]

And this is it really.

Most men wont take no for an answer or take rejection gracefully.

So a woman just goes silent to avoid unpleasantness.

 

If you as a guy can't take her silence of avoidance as a clear sign of disinterest then you are possibly one of those guys who doesn't take no for an answer or takes rejection badly.

 

The majority of the time avoidance does indeed seem like a clear sign of disinterest. However I have had occasions in the past when women have cancelled a date and I have assumed that they are not interested. Then out of the blue several weeks later they text back suggesting another date. So when a women initially says they are keen for another date but then flake, it often seems like it worth giving it another shot just in case they were saying the truth and they are still interested.

 

The downside of this is of course that it does prolong that limbo period of wondering whether they are interested in you or not. Hence why avoidance and flaking is such an annoying form of rejection.

[LookAtThisPOst]

The majority of the time avoidance does indeed seem like a clear sign of disinterest. However I have had occasions in the past when women have cancelled a date and I have assumed that they are not interested. Then out of the blue several weeks later they text back suggesting another date. So when a women initially says they are keen for another date but then flake, it often seems like it worth giving it another shot just in case they were saying the truth and they are still interested.

 

The downside of this is of course that it does prolong that limbo period of wondering whether they are interested in you or not. Hence why avoidance and flaking is such an annoying form of rejection.

 

Thing is, if anyone recalls Charlie Brown, this is akin to the "ol' "Lucy suckering Charlie Brown kickin' the football, and then pulling the football out from underneath of him, with him falling him flat on his back."

 

Ask out on a date, she says yes, you both make plans...she flakes.

 

She calls sometime after the plans were suppose to be, and wash-rinse-repeat. It's just fun for them.

[katiegrl]

The majority of the time avoidance does indeed seem like a clear sign of disinterest. However I have had occasions in the past when women have cancelled a date and I have assumed that they are not interested. Then out of the blue several weeks later they text back suggesting another date. So when a women initially says they are keen for another date but then flake, it often seems like it worth giving it another shot just in case they were saying the truth and they are still interested.

 

The downside of this is of course that it does prolong that limbo period of wondering whether they are interested in you or not. Hence why avoidance and flaking is such an annoying form of rejection.

 

Men do that too.

 

Fade, ghost only to call weeks or even months later!

 

Goes back to what I said earlier about wanting to leave the door open in case they change their mind and want to try again later...

 

Sometimes the timing isn't right the first time, but might be later.

 

That does happen too, and even works out the second time around.

Edited May 14, 2016 by katiegrl

[phineas]

The majority of the time avoidance does indeed seem like a clear sign of disinterest. However I have had occasions in the past when women have cancelled a date and I have assumed that they are not interested. Then out of the blue several weeks later they text back suggesting another date. So when a women initially says they are keen for another date but then flake, it often seems like it worth giving it another shot just in case they were saying the truth and they are still interested.

 

The downside of this is of course that it does prolong that limbo period of wondering whether they are interested in you or not. Hence why avoidance and flaking is such an annoying form of rejection.

 

A truely interested woman that cancels will want to reschedule ASAP because not to do so equals dis-interest on her part and she won't want a man she is interested in moving on.

 

If they don't reschedule it is because they found a better option.

And when that other guy fell through they contacted you.

Congrats.

You are now her number 2 or 3 or 4th option.

 

Which is fine for me. but i don't just thank my lucky stars and go out with them.

 

I make them work for it a little.

[Imajerk17]

Well, this is what I think is going on: People crave to appear CONSISTENT. After someone appears interested on a first date (because of wanting to give the date a chance, ect), it's hard for that person to reverse course when asked for the second date then and there and say what amounts to "I wasn't feeling it this evening after all, sorry". So they say yes to the second date, which then makes it even harder for them to reverse course later on and say "actually not interested, sorry for leading you on".

 

It's just much easier (but rude) for someone to go along and feign enthusiasm and say yes to the invitation and then back away and disappear.

 

Meanwhile, there is also the possibility that something else came up that they'd feel awkward explaining--they rethought things and changed their minds, meeting someone else, an ex resurfacing, not ready to date after all. And on that note sometimes they do reappear indeed.

Edited May 14, 2016 by Imajerk17