Break to break up, feelings to no-feelings...

[clearitup]

Please give me your thoughts about my situation.. Anything is greatly appreciated. I need to vent, and I need to get some advices.

 

Summary:

 

– Amazing beginning

– A lot of negativity from my side

– She lost her feelings

– In a “break” first and then broken up on the 13th of may

- She broke up via text-messages.

 

So how should I start with this.

She’s 17 years old, I’m 20 and we were together since 1th. January 2016. And two days ago she wanted to break up. After calling her up I made her come to some of her senses and made her reevaluate. So we were on a break instead for 2 days. I really don't believe in breaks so I told her how I felt and that I really wanted another chance, I pushed her until she gave me an clear answer which she said that she just couldn't do it. And didn't believe it would work out, that she had seen the "true side of me" and that she couldn't handle it. She said it would be the best for the both of us.

 

NOTE: 1,5 weeks ago, from her telling me all this. She sent me a long text message where she said how 120% sure she was that she wanted to move in together with me after school was finished etc and that she truly loved me and had no doubts about taking the relationship further.

 

We had a great start, we loved each-other a lot. Would hang-around each-other and do fun couple stuff like going to the cinemas, bowling and even working out together.

 

But then I became really depressed. I was abused as a child (which I’ve told her) and the flash backs just came rolling in. Long story short, I started to act like an whole different person, needy, jealous and whining. I wasn’t the same funny and positive guy anymore. Instead I became negative, started to overthink on everything etc etc.

 

So she gradually lost her feelings and things just got harder. On the 11th of May she told me that she had been thinking a lot over our situation, and the reason she has appeared strange and different lately is because of our relationship. She has had her doubts for a long time and didn't want to give up (this I never knew, not once). All the break-up, lost feelings etc came as a shock.

 

We miscommunicated a lot and fought a lot during a long period. She also sent this text over (Summary) “I’ve thought about this a lot, and I’ve really tried. But I feel like this doesn’t work anymore. And I don’t want you to get more and more feelings for me whilst I just get less. That’s why I think we should just finish. I thought it was others opinions of our relationship which was making me think this way, but ever since I’ve been alone and really thought through this, I know what I want and I think this is the best for both of us. I hope this didn’t come as a big shock, I will always be glad in you, but I can’t be in a relationship that makes me feel bad rather than good”

 

After calling her up and explaining to her the many reasons that things was the way it is, and that I will change myself and become the person I was once was NOT because just for her, but also for myself and the people close to me we chose rather to have a break than to break-up. This lasted for 2 days and completely destroyed me, instead I just told her how I felt. And she didn't want to try again so I said okay and wished her the best. And if she ever wanted to try again I'd maybe be willing to do the same.

 

Since women are emotional creatures and not logical her feelings are controlling what she finds is "logical" and this in her mind is the easiest for the "both" of us. Now I really think she's loaded with bull****, people who love each other try to fix it. I felt she gave up the second things got hard and the honey-moon phase went over. Yes, I broke my arm and got really depressed because I couldn't work out and do something that I loved anymore, but honestly her mentality wasn't strong enough or capable enough to handle me. I loved her, and I still love her. And I'd really love to get her back.

 

I really don’t know what to do, and I really need your guys help. I guess NC would be the best for us both atm, but I’d also really like for her to know that this stuff can be fixed if she only believes in it. But women are emotional creatures, and the logical explanation of things won’t work on them. And... I just don't know, luckily I got friends that are willing to be there for me a bit, but I don't want them to get tired of me and my nagging either. I've been through one break-up before, and it took me almost two years to get over (finding my current ex helped me move on).......... This is hard, please give me your thoughts and tell me if you believe she'd ever come back. She was honestly gorgeous..

Edited May 14, 2016 by clearitup

[hunk]

When a woman's feelings subside, they're gone for good. At least for the forseeable future. So let's get that out of the way first. Now, this break up was your fault and you need to understand that. It wasn't her fault.

 

Think about it. This girl became involved with you because you showed her you were a fun, positive, upbeat and relaxed guy. Those are the conditions by which she entered the relationship, as a 17 year old girl. This is who she thinks you are. The second you move away from that and show another side of weakness, moodiness, depression, and general misery, she thinks "wow... what am I doing? Who is this guy? This is repulsive. This isn't fun anymore, I don't have to be here ... and John the quarterback has been texting me, he's so fun and hot ..."

 

My approach here is tough love because it's the only advice that really gets through to anyone, i feel. It is reality. So don't be offended. It is not her responsibility to bear the burden of your depression and ****ty childhood. These are things you as a man need to learn to deal with yourself, because it is no one else's problem and no one else is going to care. She is a young girl and wants to have fun. That is it, she doesn't care about anything else. She doesn't care about your inner values or how much of a good guy you are and that this was just a bad time for you. She cares that you made her feel unattracted to you, you looked weak and pathetic to her, and you weren't the strong funny guy she entered a relationship with.

 

Yes, women are emotional and operate more-so on feelings and emotion. You seem to know this and yet you made her feel rubbish. Calling her up and trying to rationalize and use logic to her, is like a woman who you have zero sexual interest in, a girl you find ugly, calling you up and trying to explain to you why you should be in a relationship with her. It would disgust you, right? All that matters to her is that she doesn't feel the same way about you anymore, which roughly translates to "i'm no longer attracted to you, I want to sleep with other people". Logic and reasoning have nothing to do with any of this.

 

There's no fixing anything. She's 17. You don't "fix" relationships at 17. She has NO interest in doing this - she will move on to the next exciting, fun hot guy.

 

It's totally over. At your age you should be sleeping with women and enjoying yourself, no girl your age is cut out for the sort of relationship you are expecting and you will only get hurt over and over again trying to find it in young girls who haven't even finished high school.

 

Your approach to any relationship with girls from now on should be that of carefree fun. Never burden a woman with your emotional problems, they do not want to know about it, they don't care, it's disgusting to them and it's unfair to unload your insecurities, misery and depression onto a woman who entered a relationship with you thinking you weren't this sort of person. It's not her job to "work through" anything with you - you are the one who should be in the driver's seat and in control, steering the direction of the relationship. If you are instead the emotional, vulnerable and depressed one, her attraction will literally switch off like a light switch (there's a phenomenon called the light switch attraction phenomenon you should look up), and it's gone for good. Those problems are yours and yours only.

 

As for what to do now, NC forever. It's over. Maybe you can hook up with her a few years later when you're healed and in a better mindset but by then you wouldn't even want to, trust me.

 

Focus on you now.

[clearitup]

I know it was my fault and no one else. She kind of pushed me into telling her my problems, I really didn’t want to at all but I let it bother me. Do I regret it, yes, is there anything I can do about it now? No.

 

And you’re right, she’s attractive there will be no problem for her to find someone else. It kills me to know this, but it’s the truth.

 

Is there any way to show that I can be that guy again somehow through social media? Or would it look as if I’m doing it to get her back and this will be a turn-off?

 

I guess I’m really done with relationships and everything.. I still have her and her family on social media though, and she does to. Should I unfollow her and unfriend her?

 

And I’ve learnt a lot from this one, to never ever burden someone with my emotional problems. Really didn’t think it would kill a relationship like that. I felt that it would make our bound stronger, asked a lot of people anonymously and they all said I should tell her about my past so she could know the reasons of my behaviour sometimes.

 

I feel like ****, honestly can't sleep or eat right knowing all of this is my own fault......

[basil67]

I disagree that women don't want to know about your issues. At least, this woman is happy to be let in to a man's confidence. However, I'm not OK with a man taking out his issues on me and/or to the detriment of the relationship.

 

Your relationship was too young to try and fix. If you'd been together seamlessly for years and had a problem arise, then yes. But not when it's only been a matter of months. And probably half of those months weren't good for her anyway....which doesn't leave much to bother saving.

 

The honeymoon period doesn't end so quickly as four months months in a good relationship. It usually takes a good 6-12 months for the rose coloured glasses to come off if things are good. And frankly, if you were behaving badly at the time when you should still have been on your best behaviour, then it was very much something for her to take notice of.

 

Lastly, this behaviour

 

After calling her up I made her come to some of her senses and made her reevaluate. So we were on a break instead for 2 days. I really don't believe in breaks so I told her how I felt and that I really wanted another chance, I pushed her until she gave me an clear answer which she said that she just couldn't do it.

 

would totally have confirmed to her that she was making the right decision. While you may not have agreed with her, you were totally out of line belitting her decision and bullying her into doing something which she did not want to do.

 

Not to mention that you should accept nothing less than a person who *wants* to be with you - not a person who must be made to stay.

 

I suspect she's breathing a big breath of fresh air right now.

 

I know this is harsh, but you're making her out to be an airhead who makes emotional and unfounded decisions. But she's not. She's simply looking out for what's best for herself.

[cell2k15]

My situation is a little different.

 

I went from being a really positive, easy going and happy person to an insecure and jealous wreck in the space of 9 months. Looking back now, I pushed away an incredibly attractive girl who gave me chance after chance to put things right.

 

My now ex-girlfriend said the same thing - she has lost all feelings for me and "doesn't know who I am anymore". It was at that moment that I realised I had lost her for good, and nothing I could do would bring her back.

 

After coming to the realisation with a help of other people on this forum, you need to cut all ties with her, her friends and her family. Unfollow/unfriend them on everything, block if you have to. You need to accept this is done, and start moving forward and not look back.

[basil67]

I know it was my fault and no one else. She kind of pushed me into telling her my problems, I really didn’t want to at all but I let it bother me. Do I regret it, yes, is there anything I can do about it now? No.

 

And you’re right, she’s attractive there will be no problem for her to find someone else. It kills me to know this, but it’s the truth.

 

Is there any way to show that I can be that guy again somehow through social media? Or would it look as if I’m doing it to get her back and this will be a turn-off?

 

I guess I’m really done with relationships and everything.. I still have her and her family on social media though, and she does to. Should I unfollow her and unfriend her?

 

And I’ve learnt a lot from this one, to never ever burden someone with my emotional problems. Really didn’t think it would kill a relationship like that. I felt that it would make our bound stronger, asked a lot of people anonymously and they all said I should tell her about my past so she could know the reasons of my behaviour sometimes.

 

I feel like ****, honestly can't sleep or eat right knowing all of this is my own fault......

 

 

Hang on, it wasn't you sharing your emotional problems which broke the relationship. It was the fact you turned into a person who was unpleasant to be around which killed it.

[clearitup]

Honestly don't know how to react to this.. Knowing everything is absolutely my fault is killing me so much right now.. It honestly seems like I'm only bringing suffering to the person I love everytime.. I really miss her a lot, and I wish I had gotten another chance but I can't blame her for knowing what she wants and what she deserves. I Fk'ed up bigtime....... Hope to God she'll forgive me one day

[cell2k15]

Honestly don't know how to react to this.. Knowing everything is absolutely my fault is killing me so much right now.. It honestly seems like I'm only bringing suffering to the person I love everytime.. I really miss her a lot, and I wish I had gotten another chance but I can't blame her for knowing what she wants and what she deserves. I Fk'ed up bigtime....... Hope to God she'll forgive me one day

 

Hopefully in time that will be the case. I was drawn to your topic as it's somewhat similar to what I went through. I was 22 and she was 18.

 

I went from being "me" - the person she fell in love with, to someone I wasn't anymore over the course of the relationship, much like you have.

 

Do I regret it now? Absolutely. Did I learn something from it? Of course.

 

The hardest part is knowing I pushed away the person I cared so much for, and for the person admittedly I still love, even though she doesn't. She's moved on, and funnily enough I stupidly checked out her Twitter just now and can see the pictures of her with the new guy she's with. Absolutely crushing feeling to say the least.

 

Sadly you need to let this one go, remove her from your life and go no contact for a while to let things cool off. It's going to be hard, as she's all you'll think about, but it starts to get easier, slowly. I'm on day 7 of no contact and I'm starting to care less and less each day.

[clearitup]

I don’t blame her for leaving, I miss her like crazy though and I know that I lost her because of what I did. I could of had a pretty good life with her, her family loved me and everything.. And we really had it great, it’s just that the last month I completely took a 180 and destroyed everything..

 

I want to find happiness again, but knowing it’s only my fault that the relationship didn’t work turns me into a mess. I need to accept the fact that I destroyed a relationship that was very important to me.. How can I learn to forgive myself and move on? I did the same thing with the last relationship, honestly I feel like I’m a really bad guy deep down and that I don’t deserve love or anything good..

[basil67]

Honestly don't know how to react to this.. Knowing everything is absolutely my fault is killing me so much right now.. It honestly seems like I'm only bringing suffering to the person I love everytime.. I really miss her a lot, and I wish I had gotten another chance but I can't blame her for knowing what she wants and what she deserves. I Fk'ed up bigtime....... Hope to God she'll forgive me one day

 

F'king up and learning from it is how most of us trundle through life. I look back and cringe at some of the stuff I did at your age. Truth be told, I can look back and cringe at some of the stuff I did in more recent times too - but the trick is to learn from our mistakes.

 

The place to start with her is to acknowledge that she was right to end it and that you were out of line to disrespect her wishes. You can say it to her face or you can keep it to yourself - it all depends on whether or not you've gone No Contact.

 

Then take some steps to address the issues which brought you undone. And I don't mean just deciding to be different (if it was that easy, you would not have come undone in the first place). Are you at college? Do they have counsellors? As you come from an abusive background, there may well be a whole lot of poor role modelling which you need to work through and learn better ways to be.

 

Even if you don't get back with her, you'll be in a far better place next time you have a relationship.

 

Onwards and upwards

[clearitup]

 

The hardest part is knowing I pushed away the person I cared so much for, and for the person admittedly I still love, even though she doesn't. She's moved on, and funnily enough I stupidly checked out her Twitter just now and can see the pictures of her with the new guy she's with. Absolutely crushing feeling to say the least.

 

Sadly you need to let this one go, remove her from your life and go no contact for a while to let things cool off. It's going to be hard, as she's all you'll think about, but it starts to get easier, slowly. I'm on day 7 of no contact and I'm starting to care less and less each day.

 

 

How long did it take before she moved on?

[clearitup]

F'king up and learning from it is how most of us trundle through life. I look back and cringe at some of the stuff I did at your age. Truth be told, I can look back and cringe at some of the stuff I did in more recent times too - but the trick is to learn from our mistakes.

 

The place to start with her is to acknowledge that she was right to end it and that you were out of line to disrespect her wishes. You can say it to her face or you can keep it to yourself - it all depends on whether or not you've gone No Contact.

 

Then take some steps to address the issues which brought you undone. And I don't mean just deciding to be different (if it was that easy, you would not have come undone in the first place). Are you at college? Do they have counsellors? As you come from an abusive background, there may well be a whole lot of poor role modelling which you need to work through and learn better ways to be.

 

Even if you don't get back with her, you'll be in a far better place next time you have a relationship.

 

Onwards and upwards

 

 

 

I really don't know if we've gone no contact or not. We don't talk, but we broke up like yesterday so I really don't want to do something more that I'd regret. I'm thinking that she needs some time alone, and I've told her that I regret being the ******* that I was towards her. You have no idea how bad my "roles models" (family) are. I really come from an unloving family. I'm the black sheep in the family and to be honest I'm really getting tired of everything and everyone. And just so you know, I started with therapy 2 weeks ago when I realized how fking awful I was. I knew what was happening, but I was too late to fix it..

[hunk]

I don’t blame her for leaving, I miss her like crazy though and I know that I lost her because of what I did. I could of had a pretty good life with her, her family loved me and everything.. And we really had it great, it’s just that the last month I completely took a 180 and destroyed everything..

 

I want to find happiness again, but knowing it’s only my fault that the relationship didn’t work turns me into a mess. I need to accept the fact that I destroyed a relationship that was very important to me.. How can I learn to forgive myself and move on? I did the same thing with the last relationship, honestly I feel like I’m a really bad guy deep down and that I don’t deserve love or anything good..

 

You aren't a bad guy at all. You were acting in a way you thought was right. You didn't do anything bad, you didn't mistreat her in any way. You didn't treat her badly. You obviously cared about her very much. You just did not understand the implications of your behavior and how it is perceived by not just a woman but a 17 year old girl. It's just a screw-up that you'll learn from. It was your fault yes, but you were too young and inexperienced for this relationship to go anywhere and so was she. It would have inevitably ended and you would not have stayed together in the way you're thinking you could have now.

 

As far as the moving on question, she's most definitely moved on already, and you need to be making moves to do so too. Chin up

[cell2k15]

I don’t blame her for leaving, I miss her like crazy though and I know that I lost her because of what I did. I could of had a pretty good life with her, her family loved me and everything.. And we really had it great, it’s just that the last month I completely took a 180 and destroyed everything..

 

I want to find happiness again, but knowing it’s only my fault that the relationship didn’t work turns me into a mess. I need to accept the fact that I destroyed a relationship that was very important to me.. How can I learn to forgive myself and move on? I did the same thing with the last relationship, honestly I feel like I’m a really bad guy deep down and that I don’t deserve love or anything good..

 

I destroyed the relationship I was in also. I've never been one to cry, but I cried like never before for days on end up to and after the point when she told me she was done. I knew I had destroyed the love she had for me, and I knew she had found an interest in another guy. I was holding on to something that fell apart because of my own actions, and had to accept what I had done and let it go.

 

You're not a bad person, you're not undeserving of someones attention or love. You've made a mistake, and you need to learn from it. I progressively turned into a jealous idiot, and it pushed her away more and more each day until she had enough.

 

It's not about forgiving yourself - you just need to accept the reality of the situation. She's gone, and likely moved on to someone who will treat her better. In your mind you might hope the person she's with next makes her life miserable (like me, to make yourself feel better), but sadly that's something you'll have no control over and ideally want to wish nothing but the best for her.

 

Start off with taking immediate action. You need to accept this is over and you have hurt her, unfollow/unfriend on everything and start focusing on bettering yourself as a person, and learning from this. The longer you hang on to this situation, the worse it's going to be for you, and it will only snowball.

 

Trust me, I ignored my friends for a good 2 months before I came to the realisation that the relationship was unhealthy. I made her unhappy, and in turn made myself unhappy.

 

Go no contact - it will get better in time.

[cell2k15]

How long did it take before she moved on?

 

Well, I found out that she went on a date with someone about 2 weeks before she told me she had enough. She said she was meeting up with a friend, but it wasn't the case.

 

It's now 1 week after we cut contact and it seems she is already with the new guy. It upsets me a lot, but because I pushed her away across a 2 month period, I guess she was kind of already done a good few weeks ago. I'm not quite sure why she was holding on to me for any longer than she had to. I would have preferred she just straight up told me about the other guy, but instead she lied to me over and over until social media told me otherwise. I guess she was trying not to hurt me, even though I had hurt her.

[clearitup]

"I'm really glad for the time we had together. You will always mean a lot to me, but I just can’t have a relationship were we argue and misunderstand each other. So I found out this is the best for us both.»

 

Which I responded to:

«I really appreciate that, and I understand! I can’t have it like this way either, and it’s a bummer that it got the way it is, but at least we learnt something from it! And I have nothing bad towards you. You will always mean a lot to me, I wish you the best!»

 

Which she responded to:

«Yes, like wise!»

 

And me being a stupid guy told her:

«Thank you, if you ever wish to try out again I might be open for it, but anyways no hard feelings!»

 

And she responded with:

«Okay that’s good <3»

 

And I sent her «<3» back, that’s it..

 

 

I might cling on to something here and I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, but I don’t really feel like we had an awful breakup. And that it might still be a chance (can't believe I'm saying this)

Edited May 14, 2016 by clearitup

[cell2k15]

"I'm really glad for the time we had together. You will always mean a lot to me, but I just can’t have a relationship were we argue and misunderstand each other. So I found out this is the best for us both.»

 

Which I responded to:

«I really appreciate that, and I understand! I can’t have it like this way either, and it’s a bummer that it got the way it is, but at least we learnt something from it! And I have nothing bad towards you. You will always mean a lot to me, I wish you the best!»

 

Which she responded to:

«Yes, like wise!»

 

And me being a stupid guy told her:

«Thank you, if you ever wish to try out again I might be open for it, but anyways no hard feelings!»

 

And she responded with:

«Okay that’s good <3»

 

And I sent her «<3» back, that’s it..

 

 

I might cling on to something here and I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, but I don’t really feel like we had an awful breakup

 

Pretty much word for word the same text exchange I had. Then all of a sudden she's turned bitter and started putting all sorts of sub-tweets out on social media. She's 17 man, same with the 18 year old I was with. She doesn't want the seriousness of the situation or have to deal with hard work right now.

 

Do you really want to keep up to date with the new guys she's getting with? It'll make you feel awful.

 

She's been nice enough with regards to the text exchange, but the best thing you can do right now is no contact. Clinging on to this situation is not a good idea right now. Who knows, not talking for a while might be the clearing of air you truly need.

 

She's not necessarily looking out for you - she's looking out for herself at the end of the day. Let her be for now, focus on yourself and keep some distance. It's the best thing for both of you.

[clearitup]

Pretty much word for word the same text exchange I had. Then all of a sudden she's turned bitter and started putting all sorts of sub-tweets out on social media. She's 17 man, same with the 18 year old I was with. She doesn't want the seriousness of the situation or have to deal with hard work right now.

 

Do you really want to keep up to date with the new guys she's getting with? It'll make you feel awful.

 

She's been nice enough with regards to the text exchange, but the best thing you can do right now is no contact. Clinging on to this situation is not a good idea right now. Who knows, not talking for a while might be the clearing of air you truly need.

 

She's not necessarily looking out for you - she's looking out for herself at the end of the day. Let her be for now, focus on yourself and keep some distance. It's the best thing for both of you.

 

 

I will let her be, I have no intention on driving her further away.. I will do NC, as hard as it is. Nothing will be solved by contacting her, if she wants to rekindle then that will be her choice. I tried and I have nothing more to give but good wishes. But I also don't want to seem bitter and unfollow her / block her and her family out of my social media. I want to seem grown up and let them choose whatever they want to do.

 

My previous ex blocked me on everything because I was pathetic and tried to get her back for months, and I hated that she blocked me. Made things only worse. I'll let it be as it is, and try not to show any affection behaviour. I'm going fully NC, but I will truly need all the help I can get.

 

I'm just going to post on social media that I'm having fun and returning to the state I was in the beginning of the year, anyways. It's a lot more attractive knowing that someone is coping with the break-up well than someone who is not. I'd rather have her think that I'm doing well and not letting this break me down, but rather build me up to a stronger and more confident person than I'll ever be.

Edited May 14, 2016 by clearitup

[cell2k15]

I will let her be, I have no intention on driving her further away.. I will do NC, as hard as it is. Nothing will be solved by contacting her, if she wants to rekindle then that will be her choice. I tried and I have nothing more to give but good wishes. But I also don't want to seem bitter and unfollow her / block her and her family out of my social media. I want to seem grown up and let them choose whatever they want to do.

 

My previous ex blocked me on everything because I was pathetic and tried to get her back for months, and I hated that she blocked me. Made things only worse. I'll let it be as it is, and try not to show any affection behaviour. I'm going fully NC, but I will truly need all the help I can get.

 

I'm just going to post on social media that I'm having fun and returning to the state I was in the beginning of the year, anyways. It's a lot more attractive knowing that someone is coping with the break-up well than someone who is not. I'd rather have her think that I'm doing well and not letting this break me down, but rather build me up to a stronger and more confident person than I'll ever be.

 

That's good to hear. From experience, the last thing you want to do is see anything to do with her on social media, because your mind will never rest. It's up to you if you want to keep her added/followed, but I would advise against it to begin with.

 

Go no contact, let things calm down and just accept that this situation is over, and there's nothing you can do about it. As much as you might blame yourself, she's also very young so she was never ready to be in a committed relationship anyway. Sooner or later something would have fallen through, whether temporarily or permanently.

 

I wish you the best of luck. Just please take my advise as we're in a very similar boat because of what we did - no contact, no contact, no contact.

[elaine567]

I guess you felt safe and loved in the relationship at first, you thus got comfortable, so you then let your more negative personality issues shine through. YOU had a willing listener there, so used your gf as a therapist. Only she isn't a therapist paid to listen and with a skill set to try and help, just a 17 year old girl who signed up for some fun times, and who got into something she wasn't comfortable with at all.

[clearitup]

I guess you felt safe and loved in the relationship at first, you thus got comfortable, so you then let your more negative personality issues shine through. YOU had a willing listener there, so used your gf as a therapist. Only she isn't a therapist paid to listen and with a skill set to try and help, just a 17 year old girl who signed up for some fun times, and who got into something she wasn't comfortable with at all.

 

This is exactly what happened....

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, you need to remember that she is only 17. She hasn't even reached adulthood yet. While young relationships are fun, they generally don't survive for a very long time. She's a young girl; talk about moving in together should be taken with a grain of salt when it comes from someone who isn't really an adult yet. It's fun to fantasize, but shouldn't be taken to seriously at that age.

 

Don't bother trying to pump yourself up on social media. It will only make you feel worse when she doesn't notice. If she's already gone out with another guy, her attention is elsewhere anyway. You would be wiser to delete her so you can start healing.

[clearitup]

OP, you need to remember that she is only 17. She hasn't even reached adulthood yet. While young relationships are fun, they generally don't survive for a very long time. She's a young girl; talk about moving in together should be taken with a grain of salt when it comes from someone who isn't really an adult yet. It's fun to fantasize, but shouldn't be taken to seriously at that age.

 

Don't bother trying to pump yourself up on social media. It will only make you feel worse when she doesn't notice. If she's already gone out with another guy, her attention is elsewhere anyway. You would be wiser to delete her so you can start healing.

 

I agree with what you're saying, but remember that she actually didn't want this at all. It was just what she felt was the best for us at that moment.

 

On social media I posted a picture of me and my two friends at the breakfast table yesterday, some hrs later she posted a selfie. I didn't like her picture and neither did she like mine, but today when I posted my selfie she gave me a like on instagram. And she still has a picture on her blog of us two holding hands, and hugging and stuff. Can someone tell me why, and if it is something "fishy" about this?

 

She is watching my stories on snapchat and even her mom sent me a snap which I didn't respond to.. I know I shouldn't really overthink too much on this. She knows that I was at a party yesterday, because one of her friends were there and she sent a snap of us two to her. Even though I'm trying to move on, I also want her back. Really hate this cross-road..

Edited May 16, 2016 by clearitup

[ExpatInItaly]

I agree with what you're saying, but remember that she actually didn't want this at all. It was just what she felt was the best for us at that moment.

 

On social media I posted a picture of me and my two friends at the breakfast table yesterday, some hrs later she posted a selfie. I didn't like her picture and neither did she like mine, but today when I posted my selfie she gave me a like on instagram. And she still has a picture on her blog of us two holding hands, and hugging and stuff. Can someone tell me why, and if it is something "fishy" about this?

 

She is watching my stories on snapchat and even her mom sent me a snap which I didn't respond to.. I know I shouldn't really overthink too much on this. She knows that I was at a party yesterday, because one of her friends were there and she sent a snap of us two to her. Even though I'm trying to move on, I also want her back. Really hate this cross-road..

 

People don't generally end relationships they want to stay in. That makes very little sense, to be blunt. And they certainly don't date others before actually ending it. On some level, she didn't to be in this relationship anymore. Granted, she didn't handle it very maturely but she is still more or less a kid.

 

You're going to drive yourself crazy over-analyzing her social media activity, and doing things to get her attention. Move on for you, not to put on a show for her. The chances that this would have been the be-all and end-all of relationships in your life are extremely slim, given her very young age. She has a lot of growing yet to do. You're seeing now why dating such young girls isn't a wise choice if you're looking for a serious, long-term commitment.

[clearitup]

People don't generally end relationships they want to stay in. That makes very little sense, to be blunt. And they certainly don't date others before actually ending it. On some level, she didn't to be in this relationship anymore. Granted, she didn't handle it very maturely but she is still more or less a kid.

 

You're going to drive yourself crazy over-analyzing her social media activity, and doing things to get her attention. Move on for you, not to put on a show for her. The chances that this would have been the be-all and end-all of relationships in your life are extremely slim, given her very young age. She has a lot of growing yet to do. You're seeing now why dating such young girls isn't a wise choice if you're looking for a serious, long-term commitment.

 

She isn't dating anyone for as far as I know. I'm just not taking this break-up really well to be honest, I can't sleep, eat or anything.. I got exams and work and everything coming up which even makes me more upset. She left me during the hardest time I got at school to be honest. And I'm a bit mad at her.

 

I hate the fact that I love her deeply, I know I got to move on.. But I actually feel like I'm doing NC to get her back which is WRONG. I'm looking up stories on how people rekindle their past relationships in the future etc.. I'm always hunting for signs that she want me back and wants to give it another try, but so far it's only breadcrumbs. God I just wish this would be over.. This feels x times worse than my previous relationship and that one lasted for 2 years.. This one barely lasted for about 7-8 months..