AirGordon2245 Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 I met this girl (Claire) at a bar a me and a couple of friends go to on a regular basis. Claire is a waitress there. The first time I met I could she was interested in me so walk over to her and talked to her. I asked for her number and she gave it to me without any hesitation. I texted her my number just so she had and waited 3 or 4 days to contact her. When I hit her up a few days later we had a short but great conversation. I finally asked her when she was free to get a drink. She said any time next week so we decided to go out Sunday that following week. Sunday comes around and text letting her know where to meet. I never got an answer. Plus I knew she seen the message because it had a read receipt. So I see her the next weekend at the bar and we both acted like nothing happened. She was still touchy feely with me but she never said anything about flaking on me. But she did tell me that we should get a drink soon. So I schedule another date. But after she has return from her vacation. I had no problem with that and suggested we go out for drinks when she get back which she agreed. The day of the date comes and I call to confirm and she pretty much told me she forgot and if we could rain check. I said sure let me know, talk to you later and hung up. My question is, she flaked on me twice and I know not to contact and let her do the contacting. Let her bring up getting together. The thing is that I see almost every weekend. I don't want things to be awkward but then again I don't want to give her any attention until she has earned it. How should I handle this behavior of hers??
mrldii Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 ...How should I handle this behavior of hers?? Stop providing her opportunities to flake on you, since apparently she's not nearly as interested as you'd hoped she was. Best of luck to you, OP.
kismetkismet Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 I would assume this is a lost cause. I worked as a waitress all through university & Tech school (about 5-6yrs total) and flirtation is kind of part of the job for some girls, particularly in bars. That was one thing I could never fully wrap my head around while i was working, but a lot of guys appreciate the attention even though they know the girls are just doing it as part of their job and for extra tips, and a lot of girls like to just be flirtatious and have fun - and get extra tips for a little playful banter. You're one of her regular customers and she could just be worried about it being awkward to reject you outright, and is just hoping that you'll 'get the hint' and that it will fizzle. It's very immature, but very common. Especially for young girls that get hit on day in and day out (par for the course as a bar waitress). Obviously I can't say that is the case for sure, but that would be my best guess. I wouldn't contact her again and just let things go. If she contacts you again first then sure give it another shot. But her saying 'we should get that drink some time' when you're at her work doesn't count though - she could just be doing that to avoid awkwardness-, if she says that again tell her to text you and wait for that text. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Never ask her out again. You can be polite when you see her but that's all that is required & even then as long as you are not affirmatively mean to her you are under no obligation to ever speak to her again. 3
Erik30 Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Forget about her. Why would you want to go out with someone who treats you like that? She never apologized for flaking and ignoring your message, then she "forgot" the second time.. either she has really low interest (or non at all) but likes the attention, or she just can't say no to you straight up. Best to find another girl 1
kismetkismet Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Oh! I misunderstood your question a bit, you meant more how to act toward her rather than how to get her.. I'd just pretend it never happened. Be friendly, but not flirtatious. She probably didn't mean anything by it, just didn't know how to handle the situation and you are a regular there so like you said, you don't want things to be awkward.
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