Jmillzz Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 I met this 35 year old chick online and we started talking and texting quite a bit. I'd say on average 2-3 hours everyday for the next 4-5 months. After a couple weeks we met up and began seeing each other 2-3 times a week. Things were great. My feelings for her kept growing and I felt our connection was real strong. After a couple months she said she was falling in love with me and I told her how I felt about her. We agreed to begin an exclusive relationship.I eventually introduced her to my daughter who I raise by myself and her mom is out of the picture. They began to develop a bond. They got along great. She would even buy her gifts. She introduced me to her kids and we all began to hang out and things seemed real good. So she had an overseas trip coming up. She was going to Asia with a friend for 14 days. I didn't mind. I figured we'd just continue on when she got back. About 10 days before the trip she tells me she just wants to be friends with benefits for awhile because she was going thru a lot. She had already told me she had a form of cancer and she was recently divorced and still adjusting. I was bummed but i respected it. But funny thing is nothing changed. She still called me all the time and professed her love for me continuously. So a couple days before she left we take our kids and have an afternoon out. Everything went great. Had a good time. She told my daughter she loved her and when she got back from Asia they would spend time together alone. She said we would have a family picnic when she returned. The morning that she left she came to see me at my job. We made out and she told me when she got back she wanted to meet my mom and take another step forward together. She messaged me when she got to Asia telling me how much she loved me. That was the last time I heard from her. I messaged her the next day but didn't get a response but I wasn't concerned. I planned on giving her space during her trip. A couple days later I did again but again no response. So 14 days turned into 5 weeks. After the first two weeks I tried calling her a few times but I couldn't get thru because she was still out of the country. I eventually get thru and ask her what's going on and she said she missed me and that she got very ill on her trip and would return in a couple days and would call me at the airport. I got kind of a weird vibe that time. So 2 days come and go and no call. After a couple more days I call her and her friend answers and says she is still in Asia. It's an obvious lie. I could tell by the ring that she was back in the states. I messaged her and got no response. Messaged her on Facebook and she viewed the messages but no responeed. I tried calling her again. I sent her a couple more messages over the next few days. She's been back for 10 days now and not a word. I messaged her last 4 days ago and don't plan to again. I didn't see it coming at all. Why would she say all those things when she left if she didn't plan to see me again? Why tell my daughter those things. I'm very upset over the way she left because of my daughter. She asks about her nearly everyday. There were no signs that she was getting ready to disappear on me but she obviously has. I just don't understand why she would talk about our future together as a family when she returned and profess her love for me if she was planning on ditching me. I was pretty hurt but the last couple days have been good. I'm moving on. Was she just playing cruel games and not being genuine at all? Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated. Thanks for reading.
Methodical Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Unfortunately, ppl lie and toy with others' emotions with no thought concerning repercussions. Once you suspected you were being ignored, you should have backed off and left her alone. Obviously she had a way to contact you and chose not to. Ghosting is immature, imo, and I doubt you'll ever get "the answer" you are looking for. Time to close that book and move on .
seamos Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 I don't think she was trying to be cruel intentionally, it sounds to me like she is really immature and dysfunctional when it comes to communication and relationships. Wow!! I'm sorry you and your daughter have to deal w/ this. I hope things continue to improve for you.
ChocolateRain Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 sorry to hear about your story ... it seems as though she wasnt really ready for you and has various issues to deal with . i feel mostly sorry for your daughter ... i think you introduced your daughter to this woman way to soon .
ExpatInItaly Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Wow, I'm sorry this happened to you OP. What a crappy experience. There seems to be something a bit weird about this trip to Asia. She wanted to just be FWB leading up to her time away, but then wanted to take a step forward after returning. That doesn't sound right. Admittedly, I'm cynical, but I'd be wondering who exactly she was planning on seeing there.
Author Jmillzz Posted May 16, 2016 Author Posted May 16, 2016 Thanks for the comments and yes I definitely introduced my daughter to her too soon. Learned a big lesson there. So the last message I sent her was pretty mean. It's been like six days. So I actually sent an apology text this morning and I got an instant reply lol. First time i heard from her in over a month. I told her it was disrespectful to ghost people like that. She apologized and said she still loves me but can't be with me because of her health. I didn't press her and I wasn't disrespectful and we kind of left it like that. It actually did feel good for her to tell me something. I feel really better about things. So there's a tip to get someone who ghosted you to answer you. Send a mean hurtful message and then send another message four other five days later apologizing. Lol hey it worked for me!
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