Ravenclyde Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Hi, I'm new to this website and I'm here to vent out, sort of like a getting it off the chest kind of a deal and also to hear your thoughts and looking to improve or change for better. I hope I get support from you guys.. Thanks I'm a 30yr old lady separated recently and almost finalizing the divorce matters. I have a daughter who is 20months old. Things were really hard throughout the marriage and the drama still continues. Ours was an arranged marriage and so we didn't get a chance to date or understand each other. I'm the sort of girl who never really got to date men, I started working at the age of 18 and since then have been a workaholic. I had low self esteem and forced myself to work many hours. I lacked confidence personally but professionally I was really confident and is pretty much recognized for my efforts. I'm basically matured but when it comes to men, or crush or relationships I guess I'm pretty much naive and dumb! Recently I met this new guy who is 2-3years younger to me at work and I felt this instant attraction towards this guy. I started changing my dressing style and outfits etc to gain his attention. This went on for almost 9months and I came to know that he too is attracted to me and have been wanting to ask me out. He texted me one late night drunk and letting me know he wanted to ask me out...I hope you guys understand the amount of happiness that I felt that night. That night was probably the second best night of my life, first is when I gave birth to my child ). I even paid no attention to the fact that this guy is drunk and is texting at odd hours asking me out. But in my desperation and happy state it didn't matter one bit to me and I told him I won't be able to meet that night but that we could hangout the next day to which he agreed and met the following day for a coffee. Being inexperienced and not knowing how to interact with men, I guess I pretty much f*cked that date night. Because from the next day he started acting really weird and ignoring me. I can't even remember the things that we spoke but I'm pretty much sure they were all utter sh*t...he was a gentleman though. Picked me up and dropped me off, paid for the coffee even when I offered to pay or split bill and spoke constantly throughout the date even while driving me back home. Because of this I thought the date went well but then I realized the truth. I cried the hardest the night I realized this and somehow managed to gather myself up and move on. I went to work everyday and it was really hard to watch him ignore me and I felt this constant embarrassment, it was suffocating. I was pretty critical about myself. I decided that I had to love myself and learn the art of interacting with men. I decided to not over analyze me and cut me some slack. I continued dressing well and getting in shape and started reading self help books and slowly started gaining confidence in myself. Things were going well and this guy started coming back to me. Like he would ask me to join for lunch with a group, he would come and make small talks with me. He started liking each and every fb posts that I posted. And I started feeling really confident in myself. And I was so happy to see him come back to me. I was moving on in life and was pretty happy within myself. Last week I had to travel to a different country for a friends wedding and coincidentally he was there in the same city a day before. I didn't know about this. The night that I arrived in the city I checked in to fb letting my friends know that I was here in this city and what do you know! About half an hour later this guy texts me asking me if I was in The city and how long i was going to be there and he even insisted that we meet for a drink before I left. I didn't want to be too easy for him so I told him I would let him know about it. I was so happy once again and I was so proud of myself for playing it cool when he ignored me. I wanted to go out with him and I bought a beautiful outfit, pair of shoes, perfume etc and the day before I was leaving I texted him and told him that I was free for a few hours and that if he still wanted to go for a drink I was available. I even apologized for the short notice and that if he has other plans we could do this some other time to which he replaced he didn't have any plans and that he would let me know. But he didn't and I realized I was being stood up. He was already at another bar getting drunk. I texted him back telling him that I guess he was held up and it was not a problem and that I had to head out and we could meet some other time. To which he replied he just got off work and he kept asking me where I was and all and I replied back to him saying it didn't matter I'm a strong woman and I will not tolerate such men. But I don't know how to face him at work tomorrow. I don't know how to explain what I'm going through. I know I'm strong and I know I should pay no attention to such stuff but I keep thinking to myself what have I ever done to him to deserve such a treatment from him. He is the one who insisted that we meet for drinks and he stood me up? I'm kind of losing confidence in me again. I'm looking for a pat on the back...anyone?
Orion39 Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Personally, I say do not let this man get to 3 strikes. Count him out now. If he does not have the sense to at least give you an explanation, apologize or say if he is unable to meet up with you then move on. It isn't worth you investing your emotions and time only to be let down again. Keep doing what you are doing and taking care of yourself. For me, I think is important that an individual care about and love themselves first before allowing someone else the same privilege. 2
mrldii Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Agree with orion's post. And, also, "strong women" don't allow their moods to fluctuate from being on top of the world (when a man throws some attention our way) to being depressed as hell and barely able to drag ourselves out of bed (when he doesn't notice us). Jus' sayin'. Oh, and he appears to have a problem with alcohol.
truth_seeker Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 I love the inside intel on how an interested woman operates... started dressing better to get noticed... purposely not replying back right away to not come off easy... silently crushing hard on a guy but playing it cool on the surface... You ladies and your games. 1
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