mortensorchid Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 I had posted about turning 40 recently, saying this is a funny moment in a woman's life because you are the cougar to the young boys and the hot young babe to the grandpa bracket. Tonight I had a moment that was funny. I was on Facebook and someone had connected me to this guy for a filming project we were going to do this summer. Out of nowhere, he sends me an IM saying hello. We chatted back and forth, I thought he was setting up some kind of plan for the film coming up, and he asked if he could see me. I said "What, for the project?" He said "No, I am interested in you." I said "Sweetheart, how old are you?" He said he was 22. I said "And you know how old I am, don't you?" He did not. I said "I'm 41." He said "Oh ... Well you don't look it." I said "I know I don't look it, and I don't act like it either. And I don't want to lie and say otherwise." I said thank you for your obvious interest, but the answer is no. I think I handled that with class. I was thinking about that guy who rejected me by saying "I am not interested in you romantically" or all the others who have been so cowardly and cruel to abuse, abandon, break up with me via text/email, and I said I am not going to be that person to anyone ever. 4
trippi1432 Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 You handled it with class. I went through my divorce in my young 40's, I blame the fact that I look young for not getting a promotion at work actually. Enjoy your 40's, they are really intriguing. My son and I have had quite a chuckle at his friends thinking I'm a babe, you only get this one decade once in your life, but yeah, I get where you are coming from. Having your own boundaries is class. Good for you. 1
Porter56 Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Men seem to take rejection personally and let every declined date wound them in some way because they tie to much of their self-worth to women. So you shouldn't worry about how you say no as long as it's nice/polite. Men tend to be too sensitive is all. I actually feel bad for women because I know that even when they don't want to go out with someone for whatever reason, they feel really bad about rejecting someone. And to top it all off...men can get really mean sometimes when rejected, even when the girl is nice about it. I'm actually surprised women still want to be approached and asked out anymore with some of the stuff they go through sometimes. I am curious though OP...what age range do you find acceptable for yourself??
truth_seeker Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 I had posted about turning 40 recently, saying this is a funny moment in a woman's life because you are the cougar to the young boys and the hot young babe to the grandpa bracket. Tonight I had a moment that was funny. I was on Facebook and someone had connected me to this guy for a filming project we were going to do this summer. Out of nowhere, he sends me an IM saying hello. We chatted back and forth, I thought he was setting up some kind of plan for the film coming up, and he asked if he could see me. I said "What, for the project?" He said "No, I am interested in you." I said "Sweetheart, how old are you?" He said he was 22. I said "And you know how old I am, don't you?" He did not. I said "I'm 41." He said "Oh ... Well you don't look it." I said "I know I don't look it, and I don't act like it either. And I don't want to lie and say otherwise." I said thank you for your obvious interest, but the answer is no. I think I handled that with class. I was thinking about that guy who rejected me by saying "I am not interested in you romantically" or all the others who have been so cowardly and cruel to abuse, abandon, break up with me via text/email, and I said I am not going to be that person to anyone ever. The bigger questions is, what kind of film project are you doing where the guy behind the filming project is 22?
Methodical Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Rejections don't have to be humiliating and you proved that by the way you handled the situation .
smackie9 Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 I have been in your shoes. I say how flattered that they think I look so young, and I then tell them "Good on you for having the confidence to ask me out. I'm very impressed, hope you find someone that says "yes" real soon."
BikerAccnt Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Men seem to take rejection personally and let every declined date wound them in some way because they tie to much of their self-worth to women. Not all of us do that. If I let every declined date wound me, first there wouldn't be enough un-pierced flesh left, and I'd have died decades ago. 1
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