avenal Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 My LDR bf and I decided to cool things for a while, until I return home and we can be in the same city again. The distance was eating away at me, I'm a bit insecure and both of us are anxious and emotional. Too many little arguments. He didn't describe our status (friends, bf/gf, etc.). I didn't press for more details as we had a huge argument and didn't want to prolong the turmoil, though he stated that he loves me and thinks about me all day. Anyway, we still chat via text though not throughout the day like we used to, and not about feelings.. and no more sexy talk (though he still sends me selfies regularly ). I sense he doesn't want to start up again and then get hurt. We chat on the phone (even like the good old days, 3-5 hours at a time) but the last time he confused me! He alluded to "whoever I'm (he) going to be in a LTR with" , and mentioned that he went out with a woman that he met when he first moved to our city years ago but that he wasn't attracted to (and added that they just talked about her dog). As time passed he became rather tipsy (he phoned me from a pub) and softer in tone, even more affectionate. I teased him about his midlife crisis; his tone changed to irritation and he replied that I was his midlife crisis (because he's not used to waiting so long for a woman, I've been away for months now). Later he asked me what I was doing for relief (sexual). Does he still think of me romantically? Are people more truthful or authentic when drunk? Sometimes he's so distant in his texts, unlike before, and it makes me cry. We're both very emotional and sensitive. It doesn't take much to push us over the edge. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 I would say that the long distance and drama has worn him down and he's beginning to not think of you romantically. Sounds like he's weaning himself off you. When drunk people can either be more truthful or talk a lot of rubbish. There's no rule. If you want to save this relationship, you may have to come back sooner than you'd planned. Link to post Share on other sites
Author avenal Posted May 13, 2016 Author Share Posted May 13, 2016 Why would he inquire about my sex life then? Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Because we guys are kind of territorial, and unfortunately, we tend to still often care about such things even if we no longer want the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 LDRS require extreme amounts of trust. If you over overly emotional or sensitive that is sometimes hard to come by. If your plan is to not date while you are still separated by distance you need to change your behaviors. To say you are not dating but then talk & interact in almost all the same ways as when you were dating seems counterproductive. When do you plan to move back? Personally I'd reduce contact until then & hope he's still free when you get there. Link to post Share on other sites
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