Justagirl1988 Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 There is a guy I work with who can seem extroverted at times, but who is really a shy guy underneath it all. I have liked him for some time, and have always thought he liked me back. I catch him glancing and staring at me all the time and when I catch him he looks away. Sometimes I will find myself looking at him and he will look back at me. He always directs his body towards me, even when he is talking to other people. Every time he leaves a room we end up making eye contact. However, there is another girl we work with. They work together all the time and she is very attractive. I have seen him check her out, and he is open and talkative with her. With me it's very short answers and he can never look me in the face when we talk, but can look in my eye from Across the room. I guess what I wanna know is could he like both of us or does it seem like he just likes her? I'm so confused. Any advice would help
Gloria25 Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 This is very simple... He likes her more. Men make a move when they're interested. He may be attracted to you, but it isn't enough for him to do anything about it. He likes her more, so, he's made the effort to speak to her. Sorry, "almost" doesn't count.
Author Justagirl1988 Posted May 13, 2016 Author Posted May 13, 2016 I guess you are right. I mean he talks openly with pretty much everyone that we work with besides me, or at least it feels like it. I mean the only "good" thing is that they have absolutely no chance of ever getting together. Too difficult to explain why, but that would never happen.
O'Malley Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 As hard as it sounds, I'd take your focus off him: you can find him attractive, but realize that there's not much potential there. It's possible that you're just reading significance into his mannerisms, or he's noticed that you're looking at him a great deal. Apparently he has no problem interacting with this coworker and others, and he has every opportunity to approach you in a similar manner. He's obviously chosen not to.
preraph Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 He likes both of you and probably looks at many more women outside the workplace. It shouldn't stop you, really. If you want to know him better, just go up and start a conversation.
Iotome Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 It's quite possible he does find you both attractive, many people are. That being said it's hard to judge something off looks alone. As a guy though I probably wouldn't be caught looking at a woman I didn't find attractive for long periods of time more than once, even if they were staring at me. Dating in the workplace can be tough because if something is taken the wrong way it can be awkward for a bit. If you know any of his interests try to strike up a conversation about something he likes and go from there.
Iotome Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 This is very simple... He likes her more. Men make a move when they're interested. He may be attracted to you, but it isn't enough for him to do anything about it. He likes her more, so, he's made the effort to speak to her. Sorry, "almost" doesn't count. That's not always true, sometimes we'll talk to someone just because certain circumstances make it easier. There are plenty of women I have talked to in the past just because it was easier than talking to ones that I may have found more attractive. Just depends on the situation really but nothing is set in stone as we all approach things differently.
katiegrl Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 That's not always true, sometimes we'll talk to someone just because certain circumstances make it easier. There are plenty of women I have talked to in the past just because it was easier than talking to ones that I may have found more attractive. Just depends on the situation really but nothing is set in stone as we all approach things differently. Agree with bolded. Just me but when I really like a guy and am attracted to him, I find it harder to talk to him! It's easier to talk to the guy I am NOT so interested in. With the guy I like, I get nervous and tongue-tied. With guy I don't like, I feel more relaxed, consider him more as a friend rather than a guy I am attracted to and would like to date. I think that is true for many people... maybe even your guy.
Chris2016 Posted May 14, 2016 Posted May 14, 2016 Same here, when I really like somebody, I find it hard to talk to her. I get nervous, tongue-tied, etc. Whereas I'll be exuberant and extroverted with others. Also, if she is not extroverted with me; doesn't show me interest; I start to distance myself, because it sucks to show interest in someone, who doesn't reciprocate. Lastly, don't crush/date a co-worker.
Gloria25 Posted May 14, 2016 Posted May 14, 2016 That's not always true, sometimes we'll talk to someone just because certain circumstances make it easier. There are plenty of women I have talked to in the past just because it was easier than talking to ones that I may have found more attractive. Just depends on the situation really but nothing is set in stone as we all approach things differently. I agree, I've done the same myself. I get tongue tied and nervous. I mean, with my current guy, I talk to him and am cool sometimes, but I don't know, sometimes he makes me nervous and I start blabblering like an idiot. But, at the end of the day - nerves or not, I push past it to communicate/connect with someone I'm interested in. I make the effort. Lemme give you the negative spin. My neighbor. Appears that he would get nervous around me. He'd keep convo short, stare at me then look away. Well guess what? He didn't do that with his now "wife". He not only mustered up the courage to speak to her when they met/dated - but he married and started a family with her...not me...and, despite me trying and trying and trying to simply have a 2 min convo with him. So, my point is, so what if a person may be too nervous to talk to the person they're really interested in? At the end of the day, even "if" they still want/think of you, they decided to make the effort to talk to the person they were lukewarm about, marry that person and even start a family with them. So, IMO, sit around thinking you gotta approach that person and miraculously they'll warm up to you...no, it won't happen. Whatever's going on in their head (insecurities, leagues, etc.) that drives them to not be comfortable with talking to you is something you're not gonna change, so move on.
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