TheWolverine Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 (edited) Just a little about me, I'm a firefighter/lifeguard in my late 20s and have been going out with my college sweetheart in her mid 20s for 4 years this June. We have been doing long distance because she got a nursing job about 1.5hrs away from me but have been going strong for a year with it. She suddenly left me because she said she isn't happy. I asked her why she said its because 1) I don't socialize with her friends enough. Its not that I don't want to, its just that I struggle to find something in common with women who talk about knitting, nursing, and girly things. 2) She also said my gaming habits also got in the way of socializing with her friends. She got me on that one and I agreed to sell all of my gaming stuff. 3) She said that me and her don't talk, we're always either on our phone or our laptop, not talking to each other. Thing is I talk a lot but she never has anything really good to respond with and it just ends the conversation. Her mom died when she was younger and her sibling killed themself 2 years ago and she hasn't been the same since..She's done this to me 3 times since the suicide and this is the longest our break has ever been. She said she wants space but still wants to be friends...eventually. I'm at a loss for what to do. I told her she was the love of my life shortly before our last conversation and she started to cry. She's told me she's not ready to get married and have kids and I am fine with that, I told her I could wait. Our anniversary is in the same month as her sibling's death and I think that has a lot to do with the cause. I believe she's suffering from depression and as a result, am getting the ax for it. She used to have a spark to her that is no longer there and her apartment is starting to look like a hoarder, like I said, I think it may be depression. Should I write her a letter telling her my feelings and what I'm doing to change the issues and should I also go to her parents to see what's going on? How much time has to pass for space before I contact her? I know its social media, but she unfriended me on facebook and my friends say she still has the pictures of us on her profile. I still love her and am just really worried about her is all. What to do? Thanks Edited May 13, 2016 by TheWolverine
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 1.5 hours is not an LDR. It's geographically inconvenient but not a true LDR. It probably feels farther after being on campus together through college. Anyway, her sibling's suicide probably left her reeling. She is most likely grieving. Sadly your relationship may simply be one of those that don't survive the transition from college to adulthood. It sounds like she has at least one foot pointed toward the door. I find it hard to believe that with all the tragedy you see all day as a firefighter, you can't find anything to talk to a group of nurses about other then knitting. Somebody is not making the effort. When you do speak to your GF but she doesn't give you meaningful responses do you all her on it since she is the one complaining that you two don't talk? You have to show her that she bears responsibility for keeping your relationship alive. 1
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