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Dating someone with multiple jobs...?


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Posted

I have been talking to this guy that I've had my eyes on for a while now.I find him interesting so I wanted to ask him if he'd like to hang out .However, I'm now discouraged because he told me that he has been working 4 jobs therefor he hasn't been at the gym for 2 months.Is this a lost cause?Can someone who has multiple jobs date?

Posted

In this day & age when every company is downsizing to avoid having to pay benefits, many people have multiple jobs to meet ends meet. At this point you don't know much about the schedule. Last time I had multiple jobs 2 of them were once per week for 4 hours so dating was possible.

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Posted
Can someone who has multiple jobs date?

 

Most companies state in the contract that dating is strictly prohibited.

Posted

You need to think about your wants/needs/expectations. This guy has no time, so what is the point?

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Posted (edited)

Deleted wrong thread!

Edited by katiegrl
Posted

I have a few jobs here and there, I think we all have to do that now in order to make a living. And some last a few weeks, a few years, and then they go poof and that's that. There's no such thing as working full time with benefits or anything anymore. You make it work. And you squeeze in for a social life as well. Don't put him down for this.

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Posted

Mizz Layta,

It isn't so much the multiple jobs that is the issue here, it's time-management.

 

I once dated a guy who was a divorced college lecturer. He also took private pupils for coaching in Chemistry a couple of nights a week and saw his kids for part of each w/e. So far so good....

 

Then there was a big bust-up between him and his ex-wife and, to cut a long story short, the custody order was reversed and he had the kids f/t, while she had access.

 

The left him with one night a week free to see me, when he could get a babysitter.

 

So after his kids, his job and his coaching commitments I came a poor 4th. This didn't suit me as I wasn't prepared to mark time waiting for his kids to grow up and leave home (one was 7, one 14) so I ended the relationship.

 

OP only you can decide if you want to go ahead with this.

 

You might like to check out the info on this site about "Emotional Unavailability"

 

Check In

 

Good luck x

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Posted

It really depends on the jobs. I have three jobs but two of them are nearly recreational. There's plenty of time for romance in my life. But I do know how to manage my time and say no to people.

 

I would say dig a little deeper and don't dismiss him/her right out.

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Posted (edited)
I have been talking to this guy that I've had my eyes on for a while now.I find him interesting so I wanted to ask him if he'd like to hang out .However, I'm now discouraged because he told me that he has been working 4 jobs therefor he hasn't been at the gym for 2 months.Is this a lost cause?Can someone who has multiple jobs date?

 

I'm curious as to why anyone would work 4 jobs?! I know people who work 2 jobs, but how is 4 jobs even possible?

 

How many hours does that come to per day? Why put yourself through all that?

 

Some may say, "Paying off debts", of course if someone spent their money responsibly, I would doubt their ability to be financially responsible, but that's another conversation altogether.

 

There's no such thing as working full time with benefits or anything anymore.

 

True...I've seen a lot of LinkedIN resumes where most jobs they've attended lasted 6 months to a couple of years, then on to the next. Of course these were chronologically.

Edited by LookAtThisPOst
Posted

Usually it's a mixture of part-time or hourly work.

 

I teach English on the weekends in the morning and will start playing music in restaurants in the evenings starting next winter. This is on top of the business I run which is more or less a 9-5.

Posted

LookATP,

 

I'm curious as to why anyone would work 4 jobs?! I know people who work 2 jobs, but how is 4 jobs even possible?

 

I wondered how this was possible, unless they are all p/t?

 

My concern is why can't they have just one job and do "overtime" ? :confused:

Posted (edited)
I have been talking to this guy that I've had my eyes on for a while now.I find him interesting so I wanted to ask him if he'd like to hang out .However, I'm now discouraged because he told me that he has been working 4 jobs therefor he hasn't been at the gym for 2 months.Is this a lost cause?Can someone who has multiple jobs date?

 

 

If I had to venture a guess, it would be HE senses you have had your eye on him too, and told you he has FOUR jobs to discourage you from asking him to hang out.

 

When a guy is interested, doesn't matter how many jobs he has or how busy he is, he will make time to date you .

 

And when he senses *your* interest, will either ask you out first, or at the very least, encourage your interest.

 

NOT shoot it down by announcing he has FOUR jobs and no time for gym or whatever.

 

Translation:. Four jobs/no time for gym = no time/no interest in dating you.

 

JMO.

Edited by katiegrl
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Posted (edited)

 

My concern is why can't they have just one job and do "overtime" ? :confused:

 

LOL...exactly! The guy is probably spending more money on gas driving to 4 different job locations that allow him to work 2 to 3 hours at what? $9-10 per hour?

 

Therefore he hasn't been at the gym for 2 months.

 

This is typically a smoke screen technique to blow someone off. This excuse is usually made-up to reinforce their reasoning for having no time for you.

 

"Hey, I don't have time for the gym, so don't feel bad that I don't have time for you, either." That qualifies their excuse, and probably keeps the subject with a regular 40 hr week job coming back.

Edited by LookAtThisPOst
  • Like 1
Posted
Usually it's a mixture of part-time or hourly work.

 

I teach English on the weekends in the morning and will start playing music in restaurants in the evenings starting next winter. This is on top of the business I run which is more or less a 9-5.

 

If you already have a 9 to 5 job, why teach English on the weekends? I would think that teaching English on the weekends is optional, yes?

 

You see, I've worked most of my life desiring the 9 to 5 and free on the weekends to chill with my friends, go to BBQ's, pool parties, dates...you name it! ;)

Posted
If you already have a 9 to 5 job, why teach English on the weekends? I would think that teaching English on the weekends is optional, yes?

 

You see, I've worked most of my life desiring the 9 to 5 and free on the weekends to chill with my friends, go to BBQ's, pool parties, dates...you name it! ;)

 

It's not work if the person really enjoys what they're doing.

  • Like 1
Posted
It's not work if the person really enjoys what they're doing.

 

Hm, well, personally, I find a social life, time with family and friends and recreational activities/hobbies to be more enjoyable than working ANY job, even if the job is enjoyable.

Posted
If you already have a 9 to 5 job, why teach English on the weekends? I would think that teaching English on the weekends is optional, yes?

 

You see, I've worked most of my life desiring the 9 to 5 and free on the weekends to chill with my friends, go to BBQ's, pool parties, dates...you name it! ;)

 

Whats wrong with doing more than the bare minimum?

If that's something that works for you, you can't expect others to do what you desire. Some people strive for more in their lives.

 

As to the OP, I don't think you should do anything to try and get him on a date. He'll ask you if he wants to ( despite what some men on here say about wanting women to initiate dates).

 

I've had 4 jobs at the same time and Managed to go to the gym and date. Four jobs doesn't have to mean 20 hours a day every day.

But it doesn't sound as though he's interested. Or he could be grooming you for a very casual relationship on his terms with no expectations from you.

Posted
LookATP,

 

 

 

I wondered how this was possible, unless they are all p/t?

 

My concern is why can't they have just one job and do "overtime" ? :confused:

 

Because they're only scheduled for 1-2 shifts per week.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
Whats wrong with doing more than the bare minimum?

If that's something that works for you, you can't expect others to do what you desire. Some people strive for more in their lives.

 

As to the OP, I don't think you should do anything to try and get him on a date. He'll ask you if he wants to ( despite what some men on here say about wanting women to initiate dates).

 

I've had 4 jobs at the same time and Managed to go to the gym and date. Four jobs doesn't have to mean 20 hours a day every day.

But it doesn't sound as though he's interested. Or he could be grooming you for a very casual relationship on his terms with no expectations from you.

 

 

Well he doesn't know how I feel yet but we're friendly towards one another.I just wanted things to move forward and would rather know were I stand than agonize, hoping he'd make a move

Posted
Well he doesn't know how I feel yet but we're friendly towards one another.I just wanted things to move forward and would rather know were I stand than agonize, hoping he'd make a move

 

Oh I'm sure he knows... a man knows when a woman is into him and vice versa.

 

They can sense it.

 

In any event, rather than agonize, go with the below from LATP. I would.

 

 

This is typically a smoke screen technique to blow someone off. This excuse is usually made-up to reinforce their reasoning for having no time for you.

 

  • Author
Posted

"This is typically a smoke screen technique to blow someone off. This excuse is usually made-up to reinforce their reasoning for having no time for you"

 

 

 

 

 

Just for the record: I asked him if he has been at the gym lately and he said no he hasn't been for 2 months because he has been working 4 jobs.He told me this in passing conversation ...I didn't ask him out or imply any interest in him so I'm not sure if that theory applies here.Besides,I'ts 2016,I personally know relationships were a female made the first move.Things are not always black and white.Not sure why some would discourage a women to go after what she wants.I just want to get to know the guy better in friendly type basis and see if we have potential

Posted
"This is typically a smoke screen technique to blow someone off. This excuse is usually made-up to reinforce their reasoning for having no time for you"

 

 

Just for the record: I asked him if he has been at the gym lately and he said no he hasn't been for 2 months because he has been working 4 jobs.He told me this in passing conversation ...I didn't ask him out or imply any interest in him so I'm not sure if that theory applies here.Besides,I'ts 2016,I personally know relationships were a female made the first move.Things are not always black and white.Not sure why some would discourage a women to go after what she wants.I just want to get to know the guy better in friendly type basis and see if we have potential

 

Yeah I know it's 2016, and have no issue with women taking the initiative and asking a guy out.

 

Done it myself.... something light, fun and casual.

 

I just wouldn't recommend it in your case for reasons already stated.

 

But hey if you want to, go for it!

 

Good luck and hope it works out for ya!

 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

If he turns you down or gasp says he is *too busy* then at least you know and can stop agonizing about it.

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