Mizz Layta Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 I have been talking to this guy that I've had my eyes on for a while now.I find him interesting so I wanted to ask him if he'd like to hang out .However, I'm now discouraged because he told me that he has been working 4 jobs therefor he hasn't been at the gym for 2 months.Is this a lost cause?Can someone who has multiple jobs date?
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 In this day & age when every company is downsizing to avoid having to pay benefits, many people have multiple jobs to meet ends meet. At this point you don't know much about the schedule. Last time I had multiple jobs 2 of them were once per week for 4 hours so dating was possible. 1
PogoStick Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Can someone who has multiple jobs date? Most companies state in the contract that dating is strictly prohibited.
smackie9 Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 You need to think about your wants/needs/expectations. This guy has no time, so what is the point? 2
katiegrl Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 (edited) Deleted wrong thread! Edited May 13, 2016 by katiegrl
mortensorchid Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 I have a few jobs here and there, I think we all have to do that now in order to make a living. And some last a few weeks, a few years, and then they go poof and that's that. There's no such thing as working full time with benefits or anything anymore. You make it work. And you squeeze in for a social life as well. Don't put him down for this. 1
Arieswoman Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Mizz Layta, It isn't so much the multiple jobs that is the issue here, it's time-management. I once dated a guy who was a divorced college lecturer. He also took private pupils for coaching in Chemistry a couple of nights a week and saw his kids for part of each w/e. So far so good.... Then there was a big bust-up between him and his ex-wife and, to cut a long story short, the custody order was reversed and he had the kids f/t, while she had access. The left him with one night a week free to see me, when he could get a babysitter. So after his kids, his job and his coaching commitments I came a poor 4th. This didn't suit me as I wasn't prepared to mark time waiting for his kids to grow up and leave home (one was 7, one 14) so I ended the relationship. OP only you can decide if you want to go ahead with this. You might like to check out the info on this site about "Emotional Unavailability" Check In Good luck x 1
ManyDissapoint Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 It really depends on the jobs. I have three jobs but two of them are nearly recreational. There's plenty of time for romance in my life. But I do know how to manage my time and say no to people. I would say dig a little deeper and don't dismiss him/her right out. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 (edited) I have been talking to this guy that I've had my eyes on for a while now.I find him interesting so I wanted to ask him if he'd like to hang out .However, I'm now discouraged because he told me that he has been working 4 jobs therefor he hasn't been at the gym for 2 months.Is this a lost cause?Can someone who has multiple jobs date? I'm curious as to why anyone would work 4 jobs?! I know people who work 2 jobs, but how is 4 jobs even possible? How many hours does that come to per day? Why put yourself through all that? Some may say, "Paying off debts", of course if someone spent their money responsibly, I would doubt their ability to be financially responsible, but that's another conversation altogether. There's no such thing as working full time with benefits or anything anymore. True...I've seen a lot of LinkedIN resumes where most jobs they've attended lasted 6 months to a couple of years, then on to the next. Of course these were chronologically. Edited May 13, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst
ManyDissapoint Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Usually it's a mixture of part-time or hourly work. I teach English on the weekends in the morning and will start playing music in restaurants in the evenings starting next winter. This is on top of the business I run which is more or less a 9-5.
Arieswoman Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 LookATP, I'm curious as to why anyone would work 4 jobs?! I know people who work 2 jobs, but how is 4 jobs even possible? I wondered how this was possible, unless they are all p/t? My concern is why can't they have just one job and do "overtime" ?
katiegrl Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 (edited) I have been talking to this guy that I've had my eyes on for a while now.I find him interesting so I wanted to ask him if he'd like to hang out .However, I'm now discouraged because he told me that he has been working 4 jobs therefor he hasn't been at the gym for 2 months.Is this a lost cause?Can someone who has multiple jobs date? If I had to venture a guess, it would be HE senses you have had your eye on him too, and told you he has FOUR jobs to discourage you from asking him to hang out. When a guy is interested, doesn't matter how many jobs he has or how busy he is, he will make time to date you . And when he senses *your* interest, will either ask you out first, or at the very least, encourage your interest. NOT shoot it down by announcing he has FOUR jobs and no time for gym or whatever. Translation:. Four jobs/no time for gym = no time/no interest in dating you. JMO. Edited May 13, 2016 by katiegrl 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 (edited) My concern is why can't they have just one job and do "overtime" ? LOL...exactly! The guy is probably spending more money on gas driving to 4 different job locations that allow him to work 2 to 3 hours at what? $9-10 per hour? Therefore he hasn't been at the gym for 2 months. This is typically a smoke screen technique to blow someone off. This excuse is usually made-up to reinforce their reasoning for having no time for you. "Hey, I don't have time for the gym, so don't feel bad that I don't have time for you, either." That qualifies their excuse, and probably keeps the subject with a regular 40 hr week job coming back. Edited May 13, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Usually it's a mixture of part-time or hourly work. I teach English on the weekends in the morning and will start playing music in restaurants in the evenings starting next winter. This is on top of the business I run which is more or less a 9-5. If you already have a 9 to 5 job, why teach English on the weekends? I would think that teaching English on the weekends is optional, yes? You see, I've worked most of my life desiring the 9 to 5 and free on the weekends to chill with my friends, go to BBQ's, pool parties, dates...you name it!
SwordofFlame Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 If you already have a 9 to 5 job, why teach English on the weekends? I would think that teaching English on the weekends is optional, yes? You see, I've worked most of my life desiring the 9 to 5 and free on the weekends to chill with my friends, go to BBQ's, pool parties, dates...you name it! It's not work if the person really enjoys what they're doing. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 It's not work if the person really enjoys what they're doing. Hm, well, personally, I find a social life, time with family and friends and recreational activities/hobbies to be more enjoyable than working ANY job, even if the job is enjoyable.
scorpiogirl Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 If you already have a 9 to 5 job, why teach English on the weekends? I would think that teaching English on the weekends is optional, yes? You see, I've worked most of my life desiring the 9 to 5 and free on the weekends to chill with my friends, go to BBQ's, pool parties, dates...you name it! Whats wrong with doing more than the bare minimum? If that's something that works for you, you can't expect others to do what you desire. Some people strive for more in their lives. As to the OP, I don't think you should do anything to try and get him on a date. He'll ask you if he wants to ( despite what some men on here say about wanting women to initiate dates). I've had 4 jobs at the same time and Managed to go to the gym and date. Four jobs doesn't have to mean 20 hours a day every day. But it doesn't sound as though he's interested. Or he could be grooming you for a very casual relationship on his terms with no expectations from you.
JustGettingBy Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 LookATP, I wondered how this was possible, unless they are all p/t? My concern is why can't they have just one job and do "overtime" ? Because they're only scheduled for 1-2 shifts per week. 1
Author Mizz Layta Posted May 13, 2016 Author Posted May 13, 2016 Whats wrong with doing more than the bare minimum? If that's something that works for you, you can't expect others to do what you desire. Some people strive for more in their lives. As to the OP, I don't think you should do anything to try and get him on a date. He'll ask you if he wants to ( despite what some men on here say about wanting women to initiate dates). I've had 4 jobs at the same time and Managed to go to the gym and date. Four jobs doesn't have to mean 20 hours a day every day. But it doesn't sound as though he's interested. Or he could be grooming you for a very casual relationship on his terms with no expectations from you. Well he doesn't know how I feel yet but we're friendly towards one another.I just wanted things to move forward and would rather know were I stand than agonize, hoping he'd make a move
katiegrl Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Well he doesn't know how I feel yet but we're friendly towards one another.I just wanted things to move forward and would rather know were I stand than agonize, hoping he'd make a move Oh I'm sure he knows... a man knows when a woman is into him and vice versa. They can sense it. In any event, rather than agonize, go with the below from LATP. I would. This is typically a smoke screen technique to blow someone off. This excuse is usually made-up to reinforce their reasoning for having no time for you.
Author Mizz Layta Posted May 14, 2016 Author Posted May 14, 2016 "This is typically a smoke screen technique to blow someone off. This excuse is usually made-up to reinforce their reasoning for having no time for you" Just for the record: I asked him if he has been at the gym lately and he said no he hasn't been for 2 months because he has been working 4 jobs.He told me this in passing conversation ...I didn't ask him out or imply any interest in him so I'm not sure if that theory applies here.Besides,I'ts 2016,I personally know relationships were a female made the first move.Things are not always black and white.Not sure why some would discourage a women to go after what she wants.I just want to get to know the guy better in friendly type basis and see if we have potential
katiegrl Posted May 14, 2016 Posted May 14, 2016 "This is typically a smoke screen technique to blow someone off. This excuse is usually made-up to reinforce their reasoning for having no time for you" Just for the record: I asked him if he has been at the gym lately and he said no he hasn't been for 2 months because he has been working 4 jobs.He told me this in passing conversation ...I didn't ask him out or imply any interest in him so I'm not sure if that theory applies here.Besides,I'ts 2016,I personally know relationships were a female made the first move.Things are not always black and white.Not sure why some would discourage a women to go after what she wants.I just want to get to know the guy better in friendly type basis and see if we have potential Yeah I know it's 2016, and have no issue with women taking the initiative and asking a guy out. Done it myself.... something light, fun and casual. I just wouldn't recommend it in your case for reasons already stated. But hey if you want to, go for it! Good luck and hope it works out for ya! Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If he turns you down or gasp says he is *too busy* then at least you know and can stop agonizing about it. 1
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