Guinevere04 Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 My sister introduced me to the guy I am dating. They knew each other and she started dating his friend. Well I fell freaking head over heels with him from the first minute I saw him, 11 months ago. My boyfriend's friend started doing crack and his life fell apart. No one could stop him, he started stealing and it was a nightmare for us all. He went to jail(where I think he still belongs) and no one has contact with him now. My sister started sleeping around with anyone she could to fill the void of him going to jail and not being able to stop him from using. She took it very personally. He mentioned something about her "sleeping around" and she automatically assumed my boyfriend told him. This is a small town and anyone could have told him before he went to jail because they broke up before he went, because of the drugs. Anyway, the biggest problem is, I don't want to hang out with my sister because of how she acts, my boyfriend gets mad when she calls because all she talks about is going out & trying to get me to go with her. I just want her to find someone nice and calm down. It's just a big mess. She is mad at him and he thinks she is a slut. I love them both but need to keep them separate. My mom thinks I am chosing him over her but I can't very well tell her how my sister is acting. My sister says she is just having fun. She is 39 years old and has a 15 year old daughter. Time to grow up!!!
Groovy Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 I don't blame you at all and think you are doing the right thing. Just because someone is family doesn't mean you are obligated to abuse yourself with bad relationships that are ruining your life. Tell her you love her but just need some space to yourself with everything going on in her life that she chooses to be a part of.
FolderWife Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 You are doing the best you can, and you are doing pretty good with it. Be straight up with your sister and your boyfriend. Tell your boyfriend that you love your sister, but you do not approve of how she's acting, and you're not going to go hang out with her when she's acting immature. However, you will be there for her if she needs you...she's your sister, and that's just how it is. Tell your sister that her lifestyle and your lifestyle aren't the same, and that her inviting you to parties or whatever is causing a strain on your relationship. Tell her that you love her, and that you are there for her if she needs you, but that you feel like she's being self destructive, and you can't support her in that. But again, you will be there for her if she needs you. And tell your mom to butt out. Tell her that you are both adults, and tell her that she doesn't know everything that's going on, and that it's none of her business.
Author Guinevere04 Posted July 1, 2005 Author Posted July 1, 2005 Thank you both. I guess sometimes you just need to hear from other people that you are doing the right thing. I just wish my sister would grow up but I can't ruin a perfectly good boyfriend worrying about her.
Groovy Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 I think a lot of us have family like that. It can be hard but hang in....
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