Gemma1994 Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 (edited) Ive come out of a relationship recently we broke up because his family didn't like me because I didn't fit in and made no effort (which is a lie) They told him if he chose to stay with me they didn't want to know him, we then got back together because he said he couldnt stand being apart and he told me he didn't care what they were saying but it got to the point where he could only see me a couple of days a week and wasnt even aloud to call me in his own home because he was afraid of what they would say. This caused loads of arguments between us because his family had told me I was making him unhappy even though when we were alone together he seemed fine. We eventually broke up a few weeks ago because we kept arguing and I was getting really upset every time he went home because I knew they would be telling him hes an idiot for being with me. I miss him so much, I dont want him back though because although when we were together we were so happy he lied to me so much. I just want some advice on moving on because I havent spoken to him in 3 weeks and he told me he loves me but has moved on and is seeing other girls even though two weeks before that he was begging me to take him back. I cant help but think how can he of moved on so fast when I still go to bed in tears and wake up feeling so empty, does it get better? Edited May 12, 2016 by Gemma1994
ForeverAlone2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Well he may not have moved on. Guys process break ups differently to girls. Often they like to boost their ego to feel better about themselves. Its an awful thing to do, but it happens. If you have made up your mind about moving on, I suggest you stay away from social media and use the NC rule. I have recently gone through a break up myself, and I have started to 'date myself'. It sounds strange, but it is liberating. This experience allows you to love yourself and discover what makes you so special. I hope you get through this.
MIK3 WB Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 Ive come out of a relationship recently we broke up because his family didn't like me because I didn't fit in and made no effort (which is a lie) They told him if he chose to stay with me they didn't want to know him, we then got back together because he said he couldnt stand being apart and he told me he didn't care what they were saying but it got to the point where he could only see me a couple of days a week and wasnt even aloud to call me in his own home because he was afraid of what they would say. This caused loads of arguments between us because his family had told me I was making him unhappy even though when we were alone together he seemed fine. We eventually broke up a few weeks ago because we kept arguing and I was getting really upset every time he went home because I knew they would be telling him hes an idiot for being with me. I miss him so much, I dont want him back though because although when we were together we were so happy he lied to me so much. I just want some advice on moving on because I havent spoken to him in 3 weeks and he told me he loves me but has moved on and is seeing other girls even though two weeks before that he was begging me to take him back. I cant help but think how can he of moved on so fast when I still go to bed in tears and wake up feeling so empty, does it get better? It's strange that his parents would despise you so much that they wouldn't talk to their own son if he were with you. Anyway: I can resonate with the whole parental problem in a way. My ex has Bengali parents and they're very strict and want her to have an arranged marriage. Throughout my 3.5 year relationship they never knew we were dating and her hiding it put strain on both of us. You said yourself you don't want him back, and for good reason. You don't want a guy who lies to you. Relationships are built on trust. Once that is gone, you can't be happy. If he meant anything to you, there's no way he moved on that fast. He is just trying to convey that, especially if he is explicitly telling you these things. He could be using a distraction because he can't deal with the emotional pain of the break up. My ex gf told me she loved me after we ended and then I caught her with another guy not even 3 weeks later. I'm likely making too many assumptions here, but what I can tell you is that you WILL get better. I suggest going NC. Seems like you're off to a good start, but maintain it. Read the NC guide at the top of this forum listing. It will help you tremendously. I'm going through the same thing. You're not alone.
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 I'm assuming you are young since he still lives at home & his parents have so much influence on him. Try to find some solace from the idea that you tried but he wasn't enough of his own man to stand up for what he wanted. You really can't have a life with someone so weak. It does get better. Hang in there
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