chief87 Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I've been broken up with my ex for about 8 months now. In the past month, I've been in a relationship with a new girl-- who I feel like could be the one. I have no interest in ever getting back with my ex. Well, this morning I received a text from my ex and she apologized for everything she did wrong in the relationship-- not being mature enough for me, her regrets that things ended and that she's happy I found someone else. Basically, she sent out an apology text without me going into great detail. Should I even respond to this text?? I don't want her in my life and I really don't want her screwing up my current relationship. What would you do? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I've been broken up with my ex for about 8 months now. In the past month, I've been in a relationship with a new girl-- who I feel like could be the one. I have no interest in ever getting back with my ex. Well, this morning I received a text from my ex and she apologized for everything she did wrong in the relationship-- not being mature enough for me, her regrets that things ended and that she's happy I found someone else. Basically, she sent out an apology text without me going into great detail. Should I even respond to this text?? I don't want her in my life and I really don't want her screwing up my current relationship. What would you do? Hi ex I appreciate the good wishes. I'm in a happy place right now. Take care of yourself. Or you could simply not reply at all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
deadparrot Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Yes, you're certainly under no obligation to reply, but if you do, something short, sweet, and neutral/straightforward would be appropriate ("Thanks; I wish you the best."). A good rule of thumb would be to ask yourself if you would be comfortable with your girlfriend seeing your reply to her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kztar Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I would say, Thank you for your well wishes. As a previous poster mentioned before, make sure you think about how you would feel if your current gf saw this and if it would be worth it to even respond?. If not, don't even bother. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 When the Ex messages shes sorry and Happy I found someone else > testing the waters to see if you would like to get back together. Two ways to go about this. 1) Be Mature. You respond telling her you're well, in a relationship and you have no ill will towards her but it's best there is no further contact. You definitely save the message. 2) Be Immature. You respond with a pic of you in bed with your new girlfriend and say: "I'm doing great! How about you?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 chief87, You do nothing. She's your ex, so she should have been blocked when you broke up. I'm sure your new gf wouldn't be over the moon to know you were still open to receiving txts from an ex. Delete & block Link to post Share on other sites
lilmissjava Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 No response is the best response. If you respond she will keep it rolling and how are you going to feel about having to deal with your new girl finding out you have been communicating with her? If you feel the new girl is the one... don't respond. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Delete and carry on with your new exciting better life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tis Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Don't reply. She's only testing the waters to see if she can get back in. Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Every woman is different. If I were to send that text to my ex, I would not be using it as breadcrumbs or anything like that. It would just be as simple as being happy that he found someone else as well as apologizing for my mistakes. Not every single text from an ex has an ulterior motive/hidden meaning. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Missthecountry2016 Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Personally, I would first be open with your girlfriend about the random text you recieved. Let her choose if she wants to read it or not. After I was open about that I'd just not text back. Who knows if she's testing the waters or not. I wouldn't entertain anyone's time but your gf's. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Accept it in the spirit it was given, unconditionally. Which means no reply is required. If it wasn't sent unconditionally and was intended to illicit a response from you then you also don't need to respond to it. Either way, mentally thank her for the sentiment and delete it. Link to post Share on other sites
Karine26 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Personally,I think if you are truly over it you should just write something short and to the point, wishing her well like some of the other posters said. To me, if you are truly happy there is no reason not to send something along the lines of "thank you. I wish you well." It takes more energy to ignore someone than to just send a simple thank you. If you ignore her she may think that you are still hurt and that you still care about the relationship (she may even try harder to get your attention). Assuming that is not what you are going for here, I'd just send a thank you and wish her well and not respond to anything after that. Good Luck!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 I'm in the reply camp. Short, polite, not requiring any response from her. Although I don't agree she definitely has an ulterior motive, I like this: 1) Be Mature. You respond telling her you're well, in a relationship and you have no ill will towards her but it's best there is no further contact. Regardless of what happened in the relationship, at one point, you did like her. I just think it's polite to respond to a message taken at face value. If you decide not to respond at all, I wouldn't fault you, it's just not what I would do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Yes you should respond something polite and close the door on a positive note. Maybe she is going through some personal growth and feels the need to make amend toward a few people. It's going to allow her to move on and close the door. Why would you not do that toward another human being you once loved? About your current girlfriend it's none of her business. You're a grown man and don't need to report to anyone. You can solve your own problems. I rolled my eyes in the back of my head when I read a few poster suggesting you show your current girlfriend this message and to even keep it. Only maniacs would do this. I am in a new relationship for 6 months, I have ex calling or texting randomly. I simply say: no thank you I am in a relationship and very happy. You think I bother my boyfriend with this? NEVER Ever! I am not going to worry my boyfriend for something this insignificant. Link to post Share on other sites
soyou Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Yes you should respond something polite and close the door on a positive note. Maybe she is going through some personal growth and feels the need to make amend toward a few people. It's going to allow her to move on and close the door. Why would you not do that toward another human being you once loved? About your current girlfriend it's none of her business. You're a grown man and don't need to report to anyone. You can solve your own problems. I rolled my eyes in the back of my head when I read a few poster suggesting you show your current girlfriend this message and to even keep it. Only maniacs would do this. I am in a new relationship for 6 months, I have ex calling or texting randomly. I simply say: no thank you I am in a relationship and very happy. You think I bother my boyfriend with this? NEVER Ever! I am not going to worry my boyfriend for something this insignificant. I totally agree with Gaeta. A few years back, after some twists and turns in life which have changed me and my way of thinking, I decided to send 2 brief emails to 2 of my exes. The 1st ex - I sent him an email which is pretty much the same with what your ex sent you. I didn't have any deeper intention behind my email others than apologising for the things I did wrong but I couldnt see it back then. I was very genuine happy that he has met somebody and built a happy life with her. He sent me a brief email back and said that he was very glad to get my email. He forgave me a long ago and he hopes that life has treated me well too. the 2nd ex - I sent him an email which I told him I had forgiven him for a long time for all the things he wronged me. I've grown to become a better person partly thanks to him. And I wished him well. If I were you, I could just write your ex back in a brief, nice, and polite way. At least you need to give her a credit for reaching out to you and admit that she was wrong and apologised to you. She didn't need to but she did it anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 I agree with replying politely Say yes, you're doing really well and you wish her nothing but the best. No questions and nothing to encourage a follow up from her. If she sends another message just ignore. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Tell her your a bit busy deciding how to spend the 5 million quid you won on the lottery. But seriously, thank her and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 This happened to me. If you're going to reply make it short and sweet, don't leave any doors open, and be honest with the new girl about it. I ignored, ex kept texting (I felt guilty blocking because both of the exes parents, who I was close to when we were together, had terminal cancer at the time) and my boyfriend at the time saw the texts. Even though he could clearly see that I'd never replied, he was still jealous and sad. He ended up doing something semi-retaliatory because he was afraid I'd leave him. He didn't cheat but he did something hurtful and selfish which I discovered later. Anyway..my point is..reply or don't, but either way BLOCK the ex!!! Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Tell her your a bit busy deciding how to spend the 5 million quid you won on the lottery. But seriously, thank her and move on. Unless there's some evil subtext here that we're unaware of like she tried to murder you, FFS be gracious and accept her apology. Doesn't mean you have to start up chatting w/her at all, and if she tries that you can gently tell her it's time to move on, but allowing her some closure thru a simple acknowledgment is basic human decency. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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