GF is moving out and acting distant but says she still loves me and wants to with me.

[Ozono]

My gf and I lived together for about a year and we've been together for 2.

 

She originally said she wanted to move out to save money by living with her parents, 4 days after that she told me she learned her Mothers cancer has returned and now that's her primary focus on staying back at home.

 

She says she will always love me and never wants to break up with me but that she needs to do this.

 

I have no issue with her moving out, I've gone over it with her so many times that I know I can't change her mind and I know it's probably better for her emotionally to be around her family in their time of need.

 

The problems I'm having is she basically cut 90% of all contact with me.

We text "Good Morning" to each other but I don't get any communication throughout the day unless I force it out of her. I understand she needs her space and I want to give it to her but after spending everyday together for so long it's hard.

 

I'm coping with being alone constantly but I still wish she would talk to me regularly. I can survive not seeing her all the time but we went from telling each other everything to sending 2 texts a day. The whole reason I'm distraught is the complete lack of contact. I know I may just seem dependent or clingy but we we're each others only support through a lot of difficult times.

 

Everyone I ask for advice just tells me the relationship is either over or is dying but she is tried assuring me that it wasn't. I just want to be there and talk to her through these hard times and It feels like she wants to shut me out and ignore the world instead.

Edited May 12, 2016 by Ozono

[d0nnivain]

Actually her attitude probably has very little to do with you. She can only focus on her dying mother.

 

Support her through that. Give her respite. Make her family food. You have to act like a partner if you expect to survive this horrible time for her.

[angel.eyes]

Agreed! I'll add, continue to smother her with neediness, insecurity, and not to be harsh, but constant self-centeredness and the relationship will indeed bite the dust.

 

Not everything is about you...you...you. Try to put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if your mom were dying? How would you feel if your boyfriend, out of his insecurity and neediness, was constantly pestering you about your decision to spend some quality time with your dying mother before that opportunity passed away forever? If your parent were dying, would your top priority be responding to needy, superfluous texts basically saying "hi?"

 

Try to be a little supportive and understanding if you want the relationship to survive. Right now, you're just adding stress at a time when she really doesn't need any more.

[mamabear32018]

I'm sorry that you are feeling pushed aside. Sounds like she's going through an extremely difficult time. Have you asked her either face-to-face or on the phone what she needs as she walks this road with her mom? People handle stress and grief differently. If her mother is currently undergoing treatment then it may be she is needing a lot of care and lots of trips to the doctor. Something such has cancer is time consuming and emotionally exhausting for all involved. Perhaps your girlfriend is just trying to be there 100% for her mom during this time?

[ExpatInItaly]

You really need to give her a break here, OP.

 

Her mother is facing a life-threatening illness and you're worried you're only getting two texts a day?

 

I think you need to be a lot more compassionate and patient right now. She could be losing her mom, and it would be far wiser to ask her what she needs for support right now. Stress and potential loss of life are incredibly difficult to manage. Please have a kind discussion with her, ask her how you can best help, and be her rock. And yes, this will probably mean you will have less contact for a while.

[Itspointless]

I just want to be there and talk to her through these hard times and It feels like she wants to shut me out and ignore the world instead.

I lost my mother a long time ago when I was an adolescent due to illness. I also lost my ex due to illness, she fortunately still lives, but pushed me away. It is hard not being able to help, but I think it is a very positive thing that she does not want to break with you. Try to follow d0nnivain her advice.

 

Be strong for her.