July Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Hi there, I have been married to my husband for about 1 week and a half(we're newlyweds). We have been together for 3 years. We moved into a new house a few weeks ago and I am 7 months pregnant. Whew!! A mouthful!!! I love him very much and he loves me thats not the problem. He has this friend who is a really nice guy helpful etc, but he is a bit down on his luck. He is living with his Mom in an apartment, he lost his license and car (from drinking and driving), he has no job except when my husband employs him. But he is around ALL OF THE TIME and its driving me crazy!!!!!! This is mostly my husbands doing because he picks him up and drives him home. They have been friends since they were 15 and this guy will pretty much do anything for my husband. My husband feels guilty about his situation so he has him around all of the time. They mostly work together all day and then my husband comes home with his bud in tow. Sometimes he even stays on the couch overnight. Before he lost his license he would be around alot but he wouldn't be around for all our meals and would go home. I can consider myself pretty easygoing and can tolerate alot (my husband is the type who likes to have people around) but I feel like I am sharing my husband and my home with this guy-friend. Now I am finding myself feeding him 3-4 meals a week and it is grating on my nerves and stressing me out. The worst thing is that this guy is not a bad guy and he tries to be helpful and do whatever he can (ie yesterday suppertime my husband mowed the lawn while his friend did all the whippersnipping and clean up) and not get in my way, you know what I mean. I wouldn't mind if this was new but this guy came home from Alberta last March and he has been a fixture since then, but only heavy-duty since he lost his car/license since November. My husband knows how I feel to some degree. But he pushes the envelope and its making me resent both of them. I know I have to be more aggressive in communicating my feelings about this, but I kinda feel sad that my husband can't say to himself, "Gee, were kinda on our honeymoon, maybe I should leave him home a little more than usual". I feel like a nagging wife but I can't help how I feel. Thanks
New_Wife Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Wow, this is a tough one because you know that the friend is an okay guy - but you are still perfectly right to want some time without him there. Perhaps show your husband exactly what you posted. It was really clear that you don't hate this guy, and you are not asking that he NEVER come over - just that some limits are imposed. Perhaps if he actually sees it in writing he will absorb what you've been trying to express verbally. Sometimes that works better. Good for you though, that you've communicated this to him, and that you try to see his side & the friend's side as well. Your hubby is a lucky guy.
Recommended Posts