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why is this bothering me?


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Posted (edited)

so, about 6 months ago my GF revealed to me that she hooked up briefly with this guy that I know (not very well) and have met. This guy frequents a club that we go to and I see him dancing with several women and he has kind of a sleazy reputation of just being there to pick up as many women as he can to have sex with them. In addition she said she had unprotected sex with him because he said he does not use condoms with "good girls" like her. She was on the pill at the time.

 

I was very disappointed to learn about all of this but anyways thought that this was an error in the past so just buried it and moved on after she assured me that he is history and this was before she met me.

 

Now, fast forward to a few weeks ago I discover that this douche is a friend of hers on FB and has suddenly come out of the woodwork and replies to her comments and then even made a statement that "hey, we should go to Ohio in July"...WTF?

 

I was very upset to learn about this and insisted that my GF unfriend him on FB because I perceive it as a bold move on his part. He knows she has a boyfriend but the sleazy character of this douche means that he has no respect for boundaries and since she has already slept with him in the past he feels he can just walk in and seduce my GF.

 

What was more upsetting is that she initially resisted doing so saying that unfriending him will hurt his feelings. I found it very disturbing that she may still have feelings towards this guy otherwise unfriending should be no big deal.

 

My GF reluctantly unfriended him but I bet they are talking off FB. It does bother me and I have serious trust issues with my GF for whatever reason - can't help it, my gut instinct tells me something is up. I have always had full trust with all with my ex girlfriends but with this one I just feel something is amiss.

 

What do you think I should do? Should I just end the relationship?

 

BTW, she says she wants to get married and have children with me, ah yeah, RIGHT!!! LMAO!

Edited by funnyman7878
Posted

Yeah, you're the nice guy, marrying type and he is the bad boy, player type.

 

Did she hook up with this guy before you two became bf/gf?

Posted

Talk of marriage is just talk....I would tell her to walk.

  • Like 1
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Posted
Yeah, you're the nice guy, marrying type and he is the bad boy, player type.

 

Did she hook up with this guy before you two became bf/gf?

 

yep, before but she swears nothing happened after and she has been faithful. I hope I don't find out otherwise. She says he is a jerk and she has nothing to do with him but that could just be a cover up. If he is such a jerk then why does she have him on FB? I don't get it.

 

In addition, should I be even dealing with all of this in a good relationship?

Posted
yep, before but she swears nothing happened after and she has been faithful. I hope I don't find out otherwise. She says he is a jerk and she has nothing to do with him but that could just be a cover up. If he is such a jerk then why does she have him on FB? I don't get it.

 

In addition, should I be even dealing with all of this in a good relationship?

 

Yes, ask yourself and her why she would have sex with and still keep in contact with a jerk when she has a good boyfriend? I know, it doesn't quite jell does it? No, you certainly should not have to deal with this behavior from her. She likes the bad boys and I would next her if I were you.

  • Like 4
Posted
Yes, ask yourself and her why she would have sex with and still keep in contact with a jerk when she has a good boyfriend? I know, it doesn't quite jell does it? No, you certainly should not have to deal with this behavior from her. She likes the bad boys and I would next her if I were you.

 

LOL trying to find logic in what women say? haha they are full of crap. Women contradict themselves most of the time. Of course it makes no sense when she says he is a jerk then has her on Facebook. Lol most of the women i have met say the most stupidest and hypocritical things. Look at a womens actions, most of the time the words they speak are lies trust me on this!

  • Like 2
Posted

Why are you still with this woman? Your posts about her are very negative and you don't seem happy. I get the sense you don't think you can do any better.

  • Like 1
Posted

It's pretty clear being privy to your GF's history has completely eroded all your feelings for her. Do both of you a favour and just end it now. By the end of that post it seemed like you didn't hold any respect for her anymore, nor even like her. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone you don't even like?

Posted
yep, before but she swears nothing happened after and she has been faithful. I hope I don't find out otherwise. She says he is a jerk and she has nothing to do with him but that could just be a cover up. If he is such a jerk then why does she have him on FB? I don't get it.

 

In addition, should I be even dealing with all of this in a good relationship?

 

 

Talk is cheap, pay no attention to what is said, just watch what she does. In answer to your question, she is still in contact with him because she is interested in him and probably wants to keep her options open. I bet he is the complete opposite to you.

 

In answer to your second question ''should I even be dealing with this...'' no, and you shouldn't be putting up with any crap at all period. Why are you still with her?

Posted (edited)
...BTW, she says she wants to get married and have children with me, ah yeah, RIGHT!!! LMAO!

 

Yes, you should break up with her.

 

For no other reason than, aside from anything else (real or imagined) she has stated her intentions in this relationship with you

 

and you have now stated, publicly (and emphatically) that that is NOT going to happen.

 

 

Best of luck to you, OP.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Unnecessary
  • Like 1
Posted

I think I'd be just as bothered by the Facebook nonsense as I would be by her buying that crap about no condom with good girls. Holy moly, what a line of bull.

  • Like 3
Posted

I have trouble determining if flirting done in public with an audience is for real. It often seems more of a way for someone to try to illicit a reaction from the other person without the initiator taking on much risk themselves (due to the fact that they can say that they weren't really serious, which, are they, or aren't they? That is the question). It's murky to me and I think it's meant to be that way. They're just shooting the **** in public just like everybody else. She may be confused by this, as well. At the very least, I'd call him a low-grade orbiter.

Posted

Yes end it

 

 

She's self absorbed

  • Like 1
Posted

funnyman7878,

 

In addition she said she had unprotected sex with him because he said he does not use condoms with "good girls" like her. She was on the pill at the time.

 

If this girl wants to risk her own health like this ^^ then that's her choice. :rolleyes:

Unfortunately she's now risking yours as well.

 

Personally I'd dump her - she's sexually irresponsible.

 

And get yourself tested for STDs.

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