ly399 Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 I dated a guy for 2 months period 4 months ago, we were bf/gf, but the bonding is shallow. We stopped talking to each other because of something stupid. I wanted a in person breakup but never got my closure. After 4 months of NC, he reached out to me apologizing and wanting to catchup. What should i do? This is my chance of getting a closure. Do i go, so I can rub it in his face? Or ignore him? I think he's trying to get back together. but i have no interested getting back, im dating someone else (casual) right now, and i like where i am. Also, should i let my casual*** know that an ex wants to meet up? I'm not trying to make him jealous or anything, just don't want him to find out later and feel like i was going behind his back. ***The casual guy and i are pretty close, it's a relationship with a lot of love and respect. but we refuse to turn it into a fully committed relationship because we both know we aren't fit for life long partnership.
preraph Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 I'd probably go, especially since it was a shallow union or however you said that. I would just go and be nice but let him know you're with someone else now. Maybe you're only meant to be friends.
d0nnivain Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 You aren't going to get closure from the EX. Closure comes from within, not the other person. If I was your new SO, I'd be annoyed that you went out of your way to meet up with an EX & I would stop talking to you. Nothing good can come from this meeting. You got an apology. That's more then most get. 2
preraph Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 I agree with D0nnivain's perspective too. If the new BF is serious and you two have agreed to being exclusive, then meeting up with this ex, even though it wasn't serious, isn't worth the risk. But if you are still single and you two are not committed, then you're supposed to be able to date others if you want to. 1
kztar Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 You aren't going to get closure from the EX. Closure comes from within, not the other person. If I was your new SO, I'd be annoyed that you went out of your way to meet up with an EX & I would stop talking to you. Nothing good can come from this meeting. You got an apology. That's more then most get. 100% with this. Most you can do is get yourself in a mess later on with something that already failed once. Yet to probably fail again and even worse.
Author ly399 Posted May 11, 2016 Author Posted May 11, 2016 You aren't going to get closure from the EX. Closure comes from within, not the other person. If I was your new SO, I'd be annoyed that you went out of your way to meet up with an EX & I would stop talking to you. Nothing good can come from this meeting. You got an apology. That's more then most get. I love how you said closure comes from within. that's an interesting perspective. I would never go meet him if I am in a committed relationship now. I think you are saying, whether being single or not, there is no point in meeting up with an ex.
Author ly399 Posted May 11, 2016 Author Posted May 11, 2016 I agree with D0nnivain's perspective too. If the new BF is serious and you two have agreed to being exclusive, then meeting up with this ex, even though it wasn't serious, isn't worth the risk. But if you are still single and you two are not committed, then you're supposed to be able to date others if you want to. The casual guy and i are non-exclusive, and he told me to go date/sleep with other guys. Since he said he isn't seeing anyone else at the moment, i took myself off dating market voluntarily. I'm 100% certain I won't fall back into dating the ex, i'm merely curious of what game he's playing and his explanation of leaving me in cold last time.
Versacehottie Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 I agree with donnivan that closure comes from within. 100%. Therefore i think you shouldn't meet with him because you don't need or want anything from him. In a way, the best way to move on is just go on with your business. However, under the arrangement you have with your current guy, I think you are well within your rights to go see him if you wanted to (it's casual, open and no future). But I still think since you don't want to date him, what is the point? To me, wanting to be a little smug with him just tells me that you are probably still hung up on him or ego bruised in the breakup. Both if you want to move past it on a high road and it will probably sting him a bit (even though this shouldn't be the goal), the "right" thing to do would be to not meet him. Good luck
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