SammySammy Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 It's a sensitive issue to deal with. Kinda like saggy boobs and butts. Cellulite and stretch marks. I've seen some people deal with it admirably. Others struggle. I've watched several friends and acquaintances deal with balding many different ways. Never a hair piece - that I know of. If he's wearing a hair piece, I think that means it's a very ... touchy ... issue. Rude, insensitive questions, comments or jokes may not be the best way to go with this guy. The subject could probably be broached in a general conversation about aging. Acceptance of each other as we go through natural changes. Some reassurance may be in order. Thoughtful, caring and considerate is the way to go when dealing with an obvious insecurity in my opinion. 3
preraph Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Haha yes ive definitely checked his age! Id rather he just be honest about it..theres no shame in losing hair. I guess I just dot know how to approach it and I feel a bit creeped out that he would try and keep it a secret forever! Does he think im stupid Yes, but try to remember how many women do this exact same thing. It's a sensitive subject. It's okay to mention it. Probably "I like your toupe" is best and then at some point you can work your way up to "I wonder what you look like bald," but ONLY if you really want to see that. In high school, I wore a "fall," which is just a partial hair piece that just sort of sticks in your hair with a comb. I was on a bus trip for school and the guy I had a crush on and his gang took my fall off and played keep-away with it. SIGH. Good thing I don't embarrass too easily (and also had a respectable amount of hair underneath it)
ChickiePops Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Pull it off while he's having an orgasm. He'll forget all about it. 1
Methodical Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Seriously, if you've been dating 6 months and just now realized he has a hairpiece, then its most likely custom designed and he has spent a few dollars for that kind of quality. Rather than it becoming "a thing" between you, why not say something along the line of, "wow, babe, your hairpiece looks so natural it has taken me 6 months to notice. Mind letting me have a peak at what's underneath?" Be complimentary and curious. Once it's out in the open, any discussion will prob. flow like any other.
preraph Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 Maybe it's actually extensions filling out some spots. That wouldn't be so bad.
RecentChange Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 I agree it's a touchy subject - my guy is losing his hair (35), and he hates that this is happening to him! I reassure him, and remind him how good he looks with short hair etc - but bottom line, I know it bothers him and I would NEVER tease him about it. 6 months - do you ever stay over at his house? Sex / showers together? Why I ask is that I envision saying something like "oh I didn't know were able to wash it / brush it (etc) like that" He is most likely going to be embarrassed about it, and I would try to approach it like it's normal / no big deal / you knew about it but didn't care. I would probably follow that conversation with that it looks good, and that I could hardly tell - but that he didn't have to wear it for me, that I like him with or without hair. I know a guy who was totally bald before his 30th bday, it happens.
jen1447 Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 I agree that guys shaving off their hair is super common, but the guy does not have a lot of options. He is going bald and is very insecure about it. Given that, shaving off all his hair is probably the way he should go IMO. Well there's always the handlebars option too. 1
RedPurpleOrange Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 Arrange a date, like a hot air balloon trip or some jetski action...on a windy day. Something that involves heavy winds or compressed air being blasted at his head that forces that syrup of figs to be peeled back exposing his bare crown. Or something underwater, like scuba diving. I think you NEED evidence. he may just have a hairline that *looks* like a wig. Doesn't mean it is. Everyone thought Michael Jackson had thousands of dollars worth of skin-bleaching treatments to turn his skin white. He didn't. It was merely a full-blown case of vitiligo. ( ;) ) 1
clia Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 I don't see why you have to say anything. He'll tell you when he's ready. Does it really matter? 5
Buddhist Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 Ive been dating my boyfriend for 6 months. The other day I looked at his head closely and saw what looked like the corner of a hairpiece? Right at the crown of his head where men usually start to bald. I know he has his own hair at the front but im almost certain he has a glue-on hairpiece at the crown of his head. Hes only 31. I wasnt sure how to bring this awkward and potentially sensitive topic up so I just left it. Since then I was pretending to mess his hair up and touch his head but he NEVER lets me touch his hair..im guessing he's afraid I will find out. What do I do?! Is he planning on keeping this a secret forever?? Does it matter? If something like that makes him happy and feel better about himself then who cares really. It's clearly a good one because it took you 6 months to notice it. Leave it be. Let him have some dignity.
OnlyHonesty Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 I agree it's a touchy subject - my guy is losing his hair (35), and he hates that this is happening to him! I reassure him, and remind him how good he looks with short hair etc - but bottom line, I know it bothers him and I would NEVER tease him about it. 6 months - do you ever stay over at his house? Sex / showers together? Why I ask is that I envision saying something like "oh I didn't know were able to wash it / brush it (etc) like that" He is most likely going to be embarrassed about it, and I would try to approach it like it's normal / no big deal / you knew about it but didn't care. I would probably follow that conversation with that it looks good, and that I could hardly tell - but that he didn't have to wear it for me, that I like him with or without hair. I know a guy who was totally bald before his 30th bday, it happens. I wonder if premature hair loss is linked to a deficiency or something lacking in our diet. Ive noticed that a hydrolized Collagen supplement helped a woman's hair grow and have a thicker texture, so I wonder if that can help with hair loss if taken at a slightly higher amount daily. After all, those are the bodies building blocks that are often in short supply in todays lacking diets.
SammySammy Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 I wonder if premature hair loss is linked to a deficiency or something lacking in our diet. Ive noticed that a hydrolized Collagen supplement helped a woman's hair grow and have a thicker texture, so I wonder if that can help with hair loss if taken at a slightly higher amount daily. After all, those are the bodies building blocks that are often in short supply in todays lacking diets. I think it's genetics. My father and brothers deal with hair loss. Apparently, my hair genes come from my mother's side of the family. There's no indication that it will ever be an issue for me. 2
Arieswoman Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 I agree with clia #34, I don't see why you have to say anything. He'll tell you when he's ready. Does it really matter?
RecentChange Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 Yes it's largely genetic. Passed by the mother on the x chromosome. Males are more prone with only getting one x, the trait becomes "dominant". For a female to experience similar balding (which does happen), they would need the trait passed on by both parents (on both x chromosomes). Testosterone and other factors also contribute. The guy I know who balded early had one brother who also lost his hair early, and another that is super hairy with a thick head of hair! Mom must carry a strong, but just one copy of the gene (hetero rather than homozygous) - passing it on to two of her three sons. If supplements made a difference, it would be a multi billion dollar industry. 1
todreaminblue Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 most guys are sensitive about their hair when they are losing it...be gentle...tell him he doesnt need to wear it and just get it shaved off or close cut as another poster said...tell him you arent with him for his hair anyway...my younger son is 26 ..is balding so he wears his hair at a number 2.....on the clippers i meant.....not like...in the toilet....deb
Toodaloo Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 I think it's genetics. My father and brothers deal with hair loss. Apparently, my hair genes come from my mother's side of the family. There's no indication that it will ever be an issue for me. It pretty much is and can also be caused by high levels of testosterone. Its not just men that loose their hair. I have a female friend who has lost much of her hair and to be honest we don't really notice all that much. Both my father and brother were bald before they were 20 as was one of my fathers cousins. Sometimes you just have to accept things the way they are and get on with it. There is nothing (I repeat guys) NOTHING wrong with bald men and the sooner we quit judging them on it the better.
Imported Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 You should break up with him and tell him it's totally because of him losing hid hair. But not because of him actually losing hair, but because of him even being concerned about it.
ConfusedCloud Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 Wow, after 6 months he should have told you by now. That's literally half a year. He should have felt comfortable enough by now to start telling you things like that. I like bald guys Tell him to shave his head, way easier than wearing a hairpiece forever!
Els Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 C'mon, stop judging the guy. Yes, some guys do go bald in their 30s, it's called premature balding, and no it doesn't necessarily mean he's lying about his age. As for him 'being deceitful' or 'trying to hide it', what were you expecting? That he'd just show up bald one day? How is he supposed to bring it up? It's no different from a woman using hair extensions or whatever IMO. If you're not attracted to bald guys, then meh, your choice. But you're analyzing this waaaaaay too much, wearing a hairpiece isn't a gigantic character flaw or anything. 1
elaine567 Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 He should ditch the hairpiece and get a hair transplant if he doesn't want to go bald/shaved. However the hairpiece is not something you can just ignore forever. It doesn't really matter I guess but you know now and it is going to be the elephant in the room going forward, so it needs spoken about. I would do it sooner rather than later, because if he is going to present himself to you as bald it is going to alter your perception of him. You may not be attracted to the new bald version, I know it is "superficial", but it happens. This is not gradual balding over 15 years say, this is full head of hair one day, bald the next and that may take some getting used to, especially if you are not really "into" bald/shaved men.
Phoenician Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 The wig is not an issue , the issue is that he doesn't trust you yet .. Trust is not by force , so I believe you shouldn't pressure it , but for me having him hidden this for six month , and you didn't notice it , are two red issues .
acrosstheuniverse Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 Poor guy, for him to not have brought it up already indicates he's super insecure about it. He's probably terrified of you finding out because he thinks you'll leave him. I had a boyfriend from 18-22 who started losing his hair at 19 and it tore him up, he tried every supplement and treatment going to try and stop it from progressing but it was inevitable. He could never believe that I would love and fancy him whatever the state of his hair but it was true. He just wore hats nonstop until one day he shaved his head and it was scary but like a weight lifted. He didn't have to hide anything anymore. I might be wrong, but I do feel that the stress of trying to hide it for him is probably very difficult to handle, there are so many things he must have avoided doing with you, anything involving water or wind! Once it's out in the open and you don't run screaming I think it could deepen the bond and the trust between you. I would just casually mention one day while snuggling that I only just noticed a couple of days ago he wears a hairpiece, and it must have cost some serious money as it's taken me months to realise! And let him guide the discussion. He might feel defensive and upset and not want to talk about it, but at least he knows you know and over the following weeks and months he may start to get used to the idea that you are okay with it and bring it up himself. The important thing is to let him know you've noticed. And don't be hard on him, it's difficult to imagine the red hot shame and fear he might be feeling when you bring it up unless you've ever been in a situation like that. When I was younger I used to have slightly asymmetrical breasts, nothing major maybe a half cup size between. Funnily enough when I got older and lost a tonne of weight then gained a little back they evened out so now they're the same. But for the time I had them and was aware of it, it killed me. Most of my boyfriends would say they couldn't tell (being nice or maybe the truth) until one guy I was having a very sexual R with, we were on webcam one day and I had just a bra on and he said 'I noticed that one of your breasts is much larger than the other' (the way I was sat had the sunlight from the window at such an angle it made it look much worse) and it upset me so much all of this insecurity came flooding back and I slammed the laptop lid down and fled the room crying. It may seem like an overreaction and he didn't mean to hurt me but it was so painful to have another person confirm these worst fears I had about myself! A couple days later when I calmed down we talked it over and it was fine but I really feel for anyone living with some physical flaw they're embarrassed about, it's a struggle to keep hidden and agonising when someone else brings it up. But you know what? Once he'd said that and we talked it over I never had any qualms or worries being naked around him again. It was just out there. It built trust. Good luck. 6
Arieswoman Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 Sean Connery wore a toupee in all the Bond films... Sean Connery Wore A Wig In All James Bond Films - Unreal Facts
RedPurpleOrange Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 The famous (and, sadly, recently deceased) British TV presenter, Sir Terry Wogan, used to have rotating wigs...a short one to make it look like he'd had a haircut, an intermediate one to make it look like it was growing, and a bushy one to make it look like it was full-grown. Then back to the short one...rinse and repeat. Obviously the guy is really embarrassed about it...but it just seems weird to me, hiding such an obvious thing. I had my front teeth knocked out playing rugby years back and wear a denture at the front. I'm not proud but I tell my girlfriends about it because...they're gonna know, aren't they? Tell the truth and you shall be set free. I feel sorry for the guy being THAT ashamed by it all. Most men go bald. Just go for the Statham or the Nicholson look. 2
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