prodoge Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 This is what happened : (Saturday 23, April) Coincidentally, the same week i ended up on your page, I also met a girl in a night club after my birthday dinner with friends. At this point I had downed a couple of drinks and was not the quickest of thinkers anymore. I ended up dancing with her rather unintentionally and we exchanged a few words which made me discover that apparently she knew me. To be honest I had no idea who she was which made it a little awkward, so in the end nothing more happened that night except dancing a little. The following day I figured out who she was and that she had seen me at some partys in the past but we never spoke to each other. I decided to add her on Facebook and chat her up. The same night we ended up chatting for a bit, nothing special. During that week we exchanged maybe 5-6 messages each on FB because of different working hours. (Friday 29) On that Friday i went to a party in the town where my college is (1h drive), before we left I was chatting with her on FB but it was slowly time to leave so I suggested that she could give me her number to keep the conversation going. She suggested i should give her mine and she would text me later on. Well she didn't. On the saturday, we basically continued the conversation where it had stopped. At some the plans for the evening came up and she said she was going to the same club we met the previous w-e. I jokingly asked her if she would take me with her to what she answered "go on then" ( well the translation). We discussed the logistics of the night via text, and in the end she went there with one of her friends and I went there with a couple of mine. We ended up together on the dancefloor, however her friend was there too and I felt kind of awkward making any attempts of getting closer (plus she was rarely making eye contact). At some point we were on our own and she seemed to open up a bit, but before i could make a move we were back in a group.. On Monday, 2nd May, I spontaneously planned a BBQ with friends at my house on Wednesday. I Tought I might as well ask her because it would be a good opportunity to get to know her better (since the only times we met were in a night club with loud music). I asked via text but she replied: Her: "I would have loved to, but I have something planned. Thanks for asking, another time -kiss smiley-" Me: "Well, it's a w-e of four days, I'm sure we can find another day to do something together" (Bank holiday w-e). Unfortunately she had already made plans but also said "We'll probably see each other at -some party- on Friday". Jokingly I asked: "How long in advance do I need to book you to get a day with you ?" Her: "A few day, or a week" Me: "Then write in your diary for next Friday (13th) that I'll be taking you to -Local City- for some drinks" Her: "I can't on Friday, how is Saturday for you ?" Me: "Since I usually plan things from one day to another, that's fine" (regarding going out with friends on w-e) Friday 6th, in the evening it was certain that i wasn't going to be at this party so I let her know, we chatted a bit and in the end she asked me what i was doing the following day. I answered: Me: "Not much, I've got to get up early on Sunday" Her: "That's lame, I wanted to get you the drink I owe you" Me: "Don't worry, You can get me one next Saturday" Her: "Why next Saturday?" Me: "Don't you remember, you wanted to take me to Spring break in Croatia" Her: "Oh right" Me: "Just kidding, we wanted to go for some drinks, well unless you changed your mind" Her :"No no, it should be fine. I'm off to bed, good night, Kisses!" (this is a french thing, doesn't really translate; And in the end she didn't go to the party either) Me:" Good night, Kisses. And this time leave my dreams alone!" (making reference to a previous conversation) Her: " Have fun dreaming of me then! Kisses" -with a lips smiley- Saturday 7th, first time she texted me first: Her: "So what are your plans for tonight" (11:30pm) We had a short exchange, nothing particular. This is what happened, I left out most smileys. Some more info: - Sometimes she seems to want the conversation to keep going (long replies, giving statements back), however on few days it didn't seem like she wanted to really text (short replies, the minimum necessary) I would like to hear your opinion about this, and how i should proceed. I'm not quite sure what to think of this, after reading your articles i feel like I texted her to much without flirting enough.. Also, when should I ask her to confirm the date on Saturday? What would be the best kind of place to go to? Thanks for reading/replying to this
smackie9 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 She's not that into you, but she has np making you a buddy.
itstoni Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 (Friday 29) On that Friday i went to a party in the town where my college is (1h drive), before we left I was chatting with her on FB but it was slowly time to leave so I suggested that she could give me her number to keep the conversation going. She suggested i should give her mine and she would text me later on. Well she didn't. By suggesting, her interest level went down. Next time, tell her. Women liked being led. On the saturday, we basically continued the conversation where it had stopped. At some the plans for the evening came up and she said she was going to the same club we met the previous w-e. I jokingly asked her if she would take me with her to what she answered "go on then" ( well the translation). We discussed the logistics of the night via text, and in the end she went there with one of her friends and I went there with a couple of mine. We ended up together on the dancefloor, however her friend was there too and I felt kind of awkward making any attempts of getting closer (plus she was rarely making eye contact). At some point we were on our own and she seemed to open up a bit, but before i could make a move we were back in a group.. By talking to her the next day, it showed that you have nothing else better to do with your time. Always keep yourself busy. Put your passions and hobbies before women. Always. You played the "jokingly going to invite myself and hope she goes along and says yes" card. Don't, screams desperate and needy. Again, you continued to talk to her all Saturday. Don't you have crap to do? Why are you talking about what's going to happen? Your only making her lose interest and already becoming predictable to her. Texting is for setting up dates/confirming dates. Not for conversation. That's what being in person is for. So because her friend is there, you're not going to get escalate? Men take what they want. On Monday, 2nd May, I spontaneously planned a BBQ with friends at my house on Wednesday. I Tought I might as well ask her because it would be a good opportunity to get to know her better (since the only times we met were in a night club with loud music). I asked via text but she replied: Her: "I would have loved to, but I have something planned. Thanks for asking, another time -kiss smiley-" Me: "Well, it's a w-e of four days, I'm sure we can find another day to do something together" (Bank holiday w-e). Unfortunately she had already made plans but also said "We'll probably see each other at -some party- on Friday". Jokingly I asked: "How long in advance do I need to book you to get a day with you ?" Her: "A few day, or a week" Me: "Then write in your diary for next Friday (13th) that I'll be taking you to -Local City- for some drinks" Her: "I can't on Friday, how is Saturday for you ?" Me: "Since I usually plan things from one day to another, that's fine" (regarding going out with friends on w-e Any slowly, without realizing, you're becoming an orbiter... Three or so days later you decided to ask her if she wanted to come over. Again, women love to be led by a man. My suggestion is to tell her to come. "I'm having a spountaneious BBQ with friends. See you at x hour/You should come join." Something along those lines. She blew you off nicely. Then you came off as needy by insisting that you guys will get hang out. Now your last 2 texts. First one. you did perfect! That's how you ask a girl out! Second text. You did horrible. You let her walk all over you. If she doesn't agree to your plans and she suggests another time - you say no. You give her another option or go No contact. Friday 6th, in the evening it was certain that i wasn't going to be at this party so I let her know, we chatted a bit and in the end she asked me what i was doing the following day. I answered: Me: "Not much, I've got to get up early on Sunday" Her: "That's lame, I wanted to get you the drink I owe you" Me: "Don't worry, You can get me one next Saturday" Her: "Why next Saturday?" Me: "Don't you remember, you wanted to take me to Spring break in Croatia" Her: "Oh right" Me: "Just kidding, we wanted to go for some drinks, well unless you changed your mind" Her :"No no, it should be fine. I'm off to bed, good night, Kisses!" (this is a french thing, doesn't really translate; And in the end she didn't go to the party either) Me:" Good night, Kisses. And this time leave my dreams alone!" (making reference to a previous conversation) Her: " Have fun dreaming of me then! Kisses" -with a lips smiley- By letting her know your destroying any chances with her. I hope you see it. But by blowing her off(sorta sounds like it), it made her grow more interested in you. Because you were finally giving her a challenge - which you have yet to do, which will also be the reason why she will never hook up with you if you keep it up. Not much? Why would you ever tell that to a girl? A real man has passions and hobbies and sh** to do. Which made her disrespect you by saying that's lame. She really meant it when she said it. You showed some challenge yet again! See how every time you blow her off she grows interest in you? She was thrown off by your indifference. I guarantee you she thought "Why next week? He always submits to the days I want. Is he going to be with another girl today instead? I better find out why" By saying "unless you changed your mind" you gave yourself a low blow. You showed lack of confidence, you showed that you needed her validation. The last text was unnecessary Saturday 7th, first time she texted me first: Her: "So what are your plans for tonight" (11:30pm) We had a short exchange, nothing particular. This is what happened, I left out most smileys. Booty call text. in the future, use less smileys.
Author prodoge Posted May 11, 2016 Author Posted May 11, 2016 First of all thank you for taking time to reply with such detail, I see where I went wrong now! FYI, the conversation was translated from french so it may not be word for word exact. Not much? Why would you ever tell that to a girl? A real man has passions and hobbies and sh** to do. Which made her disrespect you by saying that's lame. She really meant it when she said it. "Not much" was referring to the evening on going out, because the following day I actually was going to watch a motorsport event all day which is part my hobbys. Booty call text. Definitely not a booty call, because at the time i got the message she was heading to a club or something. The question is, can I salvage anything out of this, can I make up for my mistakes ? Since we should have a date on saturday. Learning from what you wrote, the only text i should send before saturday would be to confirm the date. When should I send it and how should it be written?
Author prodoge Posted May 11, 2016 Author Posted May 11, 2016 [update] So i got a date on saturday at a pub. Untill then no texts except a quick one to make sure she's still ok like an hour before. Right ?
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