utterlylost94 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 (edited) So I had been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. We met when we were both 18/19 and had dated a lot in high school and beginning of college. Everything was so beautiful and we said I love you so easily. However, within the first year of our dating my dad was diagnosed with heart failure and cancer and my boyfriend didn't know how to handle it. He thought my depression was just me not caring and he almost left until a mutual friend explained what depression is. He decided to stay and our relationship went to the next level. We did so many things together, had fun, had incredible inside jokes. However, at the end of the second year of our relationship he started hanging out with a group of guys who were bad news and didn't like me because I "took his time from them". They would call me crazy because I got mad at them for hadncuffing him to a chair as a prank to prevent him from coming to an event I had planned. He started to slowly cut them out and things were fine. I realized at that point I relied on him so heavily that I started making my own friends and joining more student organizations on campus and going out more. He was happy I had found more people to spend time with I think. However, this semester, he started to become annoyed I was going out to meetings for orgs or with friends and never told me. His old group of friends told him I didn't care anymore and was lying to him. He was taking 18 credits, interning, and working on campus and was always stressed and I was studying for the MCAT and finishing my master's. I started to get mad when his friend would convince him to stay out and not let him text me. We both reacted poorly due to the stress and I started nagging him and his friends started convincing him to leave. This past week we got into a bad fight and his friends prank called campus security on me saying I had "killed myself". The past month his friends would come up to me and tell me they were breaking us up or I should kill myself and act innocent around him so he wouldn't believe me and said I was just jealous of them. He ended up failing a few classes this week too. After our big fight, he decided we should talk. At first he wanted to fix things and he was his old self, then he started blaming himself for hurting me, and then he went cold. I was so scared of losing him I saw him the day after where he just kept repeating "it was an unhealthy relationship I can't go back to the hurt. Idk how I feel. I need help" I told him we both needed help and that we could slow things down and support each other. He was going to propose this summer even and I said we dont have to worry about that. He couldn't look at me or touch me. We agreed if we both got help we'd at least get a weekly lunch. I texted him Sunday and we agreed on this Friday afternoon. Right after he changed his pro pic to him and the bad group and his status to single. He hasn't contacted me since and I'm so confused. Edited May 14, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language ~T
jen1447 Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 He doesn't exactly sound like the best influence in your life honestly, esp w/his creepy friends that he can't seem to keep under control. (No one should tolerate that sort of behavior from friends toward their partner.) So I'm wondering if this split isn't for the best ultimately. Have you ever dated anyone else? I'm sure you've got prospects w/a pedigree like yours.
B345T Posted May 11, 2016 Posted May 11, 2016 Really sorry for the loss. It seems like a lot of your problems were stemming from the new group of friends he was around. I would honestly give it time it is the only thing you can do. He needs realize the loss on his own. If he can't realize what you both shared was great and that he doesn't want it back anymore then you gotta do yourself the favor and just move on. It will be tough but you need to give it time. Nobody just gets up and leaves, people have their reasons and also have their doubts to but just focus on taking care of yourself for now. Don't let this take away from your shine and happiness it gets easier. Surround yourself with good people have your fun and let yourself heal. You never know maybe you may realize that you needed a change in your life and it was for the better. Just give it time I promise the pain WILL away.
DevotedBaker54 Posted May 14, 2016 Posted May 14, 2016 I'm sorry you lost your boyfriend. It's hard when the people you love start to change their personality. Maybe you can spend this time working on yourself, and he can do the same? Check back in with each other in a few months and see if you two still get along. Sometimes we need to fix ourselves before we can fix our relationships with other people.
TunaCat Posted May 14, 2016 Posted May 14, 2016 It sounds like he wasn't strong enough to fight back against his horrid friends and that's not on you. He is the one that should have told his friends to knock that off or he would cut them off. Instead he basically chose his friends over you. You do deserve better, and yes, it does get better.
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