scratch Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 If that's taking advantage....well....maybe he was the wrong guy to do this to, and yes I feel a little bit of guilt, but I just needed to be "treated" for a change. AND I had a great time and that's what it was all about to me. Did he have a good time? Is that important to you?
blind_otter Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 With my exH, no, never a real romantic date where he made a point of ordering the wine, pulling my chair out for me, ordering for me, etc. He even made me pay half the time (even when it was a joint account) and I'm still not sure what the hell that was all about - maybe just to make it look like I was paying? I always seemed to end up with the "cheap" guys while my girlfriends always seemed to get the special treatment....and this is since Jr High. The last guy I went out on a date with was acting like we'd been dating forever. Our first date was Pizza Hut and I guess he thought he was being funny when he made a comment about me buying. I looked at him with a straight face and said okay, I'll pay if you really want me to. You need to demand better treatment on a constant basis. If my BF ever asked me to pay for anything I would look at him with a straight face and say "You're kidding me, right? Who asked who out here? Who's trying to get with whom, might I ask? I'm not impressed." C'mon MWC. People will give you as much respect as you demand. You need to demand more, and not from some guy who you care nothing about!!!
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 21, 2005 Author Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Did he have a good time? Is that important to you? Yes, he had a very good time as well. He seemed to be more concerned with me having a good time though. I did apologize the next day and told him that I have a problem of making things all about me, and said I was working on this. I see where others are coming from. If you're going out as friends, then I don't even consider it a date and you can even split the bill. If it's a date, and nothing is expected to come of it as far as a relationship, I still consider it a date, and not two friends going out. Especially if it's a blind date or internet date where you aren't even friends yet.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 21, 2005 Author Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter You need to demand better treatment on a constant basis. If my BF ever asked me to pay for anything I would look at him with a straight face and say "You're kidding me, right? Who asked who out here? Who's trying to get with whom, might I ask? I'm not impressed." C'mon MWC. People will give you as much respect as you demand. You need to demand more, and not from some guy who you care nothing about!!! You're right. My friends tell me that too. I just hate to sit at home alone thinking I could be out having fun with Joe Blow, just two adults enjoying themselves.
blind_otter Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 You're right. My friends tell me that too. I just hate to sit at home alone thinking I could be out having fun with Joe Blow, just two adults enjoying themselves. I 'spose so. I enjoy my alone time excessively, though. I should be just as fun by yourself as with someone else....it took me a while to realize I could have fun with OTHER people too...trust issues, opposite problem to yours.
Marshbear Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter If my BF ever asked me to pay for anything I would look at him with a straight face and say "You're kidding me, right? Who asked who out here? Who's trying to get with whom, might I ask? I'm not impressed." I guess you see yourself as the prize. I hope your b/f see's you the same because I see myself as the prize and if a lady wanted to pay I would glady accept.
alphamale Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter I 'spose so. I enjoy my alone time excessively, though. Well B_0, if I had access to the same good illicit substances that you have then I'd probably enjoy my "alone time" also....
blind_otter Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Well B_0, if I had access to the same good illicit substances that you have then I'd probably enjoy my "alone time" also.... The sticky icky? Yeah it de-motivates me from getting SUPER f***ed up, in any event. Last weekend though I was totally tripping on whatever bacteria or virus I ingested from bad seafood. Oh man, the colors! If only my stomach had felt like it was being SAWED IN HALF!!!
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 21, 2005 Author Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear I guess you see yourself as the prize. I hope your b/f see's you the same because I see myself as the prize and if a lady wanted to pay I would glady accept. Yeah but if you asked her out would you joke about making her pay? To me that shows zero class. In my case, he asked "Can I take you out?" I know guys who would never ever ever ever let a woman pay for them. I would offer to pay maybe on the third or fourth date, but I would also make it clear that I am taking HIM out beforehand and in that case I would feel a little guilty if he beat me to the bill. I felt a little guilty about him buying me the wine considering we had no plans of sharing it, it was for my home. Oh yeah, I missed a part. After buying the wine, and the reason we were parked there, we went to the sex shop next door and we picked out a toy and bought it for me. How sweet is that knowing we weren't going to be making any use of it that night? lol Okay, so I am no angel...but he did say later on that I can only use it with him (ie. on the web) yeah whatever!!!!
scratch Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Okay, so I am no angel...but he did say later on that I can only use it with him (ie. on the web) yeah whatever!!!! I'm curious to know where you want this to head. Do you want to remain pen pals? Phone/E-sex buds? Would you like to see him again, money and scheduling permitting? Is he someone you'd consider sharing a relationship? Or have you no intention of ever having contact again? I think that the light in which you view him has tremendous bearing on whether your actions towards him, and acceptance of his generosity, were appropriate.
blind_otter Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Okay, so I am no angel...but he did say later on that I can only use it with him (ie. on the web) yeah whatever!!!! Ouch!
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 21, 2005 Author Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by scratch I'm curious to know where you want this to head. Do you want to remain pen pals? Phone/E-sex buds? Would you like to see him again, money and scheduling permitting? Is he someone you'd consider sharing a relationship? Or have you no intention of ever having contact again? I think that the light in which you view him has tremendous bearing on whether your actions towards him, and acceptance of his generosity, were appropriate. Definitely not someone I can see myself having a relationship with but that's not what either of us was looking for. I think he has a big heart and acted like a gentleman but he's a player (he told me this and gave me examples). I'll talk to him when I see him online but as to whether or not we meet again? Not so sure. I'm pretty sure it would only be about sex and that's not what I was looking for out of this. Maybe that's all he was looking for - a second date with lots of sex as payback for accepting his generosity. I asked him why me? Why come all the way here just to take me out? He said he does things like that. He'll hop on a plane to a tropical place for a weekend and not tell anyone where he's going and again gave me examples. He also said he's been turned down by local women so thought he'd check out another city.
scratch Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Definitely not someone I can see myself having a relationship with but that's not what either of us was looking for. I think he has a big heart and acted like a gentleman but he's a player (he told me this and gave me examples). I'll talk to him when I see him online but as to whether or not we meet again? Not so sure. I'm pretty sure it would only be about sex and that's not what I was looking for out of this. Maybe that's all he was looking for - a second date with lots of sex as payback for accepting his generosity. I asked him why me? Why come all the way here just to take me out? He said he does things like that. He'll hop on a plane to a tropical place for a weekend and not tell anyone where he's going and again gave me examples. Sounds to me like you went into this date with an open mind, and remained upfront, yet polite, throughout. I feel that if he wanted to see you again and you agreed, it would be taking advantage, but as far as the past, you've been fair and respectable. Why did you kiss him?
crazy_grl Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 I know guys who would never ever ever ever let a woman pay for them. I've been out with guys like that, and I hate it. It's so irritating. They're usually the same ones who won't let me lift a single thing. I appreciate the guesture, but when they treat me like a delicate little thing that can't take care of herself, it makes me want to punch them in the face. If I'm not that intersted in a guy I go out with, I make sure to pay for myself. I don't think it's fair to let a guy pay for you if you're not interested unless he already knows beforehand that you're not. It just feels like using I'm using them to get a free meal otherwise.
kilombo Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by crazy_grl If I'm not that intersted in a guy I go out with, I make sure to pay for myself. I don't think it's fair to let a guy pay for you if you're not interested unless he already knows beforehand that you're not. It just feels like using I'm using them to get a free meal otherwise. I'm a bit different when it comes to these things.. I think in any case relationships are about reciprocity... a casual night out usually means that the guys pays, not because it should be that way, but usually because when the girl offers to pay double dutch or whatever, the guy usually doesn't like that, it's about feeling galant or something. Unless of course, the guy is slow to pick up the tab. Then I do it. But I go with the flow. If I'm not interested, I just invite the guy out to a group night and make sure to introduce him to all my single girlfriends. Of course, I'm discreet about it, I don't tell all my girlfriends why I thought he didn't interest me. And lets face it, a lukewarm date is usually lukewarm for both parties, usually the guy that I'm trying to pass off to someone else appreciates my gesture, especially since I have some fab girlfriends.. I very rarely date guys that totally turn me off. Maybe you girls should head for my city, Montreal But when things get a little more regular with someone, it's only healthy to spoil each other, if the guy wants to pay for dates, alright, my cooking counts for at least 2 meals anywhere else I make it clear that I don't want anything serious until I have a stable, permanent job and my own roof over my head. Guys usually respect that, unless of course they my little system fails and a guy sincerely wants to get serious and all of a sudden I feel like a harlot. That was last week but things are better now, although I've been put off dating temporarily
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 I always seemed to end up with the "cheap" guys while my girlfriends always seemed to get the special treatment....and this is since Jr High. Any ideas why? There must be a reason...
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 After buying the wine, and the reason we were parked there, we went to the sex shop next door and we picked out a toy and bought it for me. How sweet is that knowing we weren't going to be making any use of it that night? lol Liquor shop and sex shop?!? Whatever happened to restaurants and a romantic stroll in the park? Should I be modernising my increasingly old-fashioned technique?
blind_otter Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Liquor shop and sex shop?!? Whatever happened to restaurants and a romantic stroll in the park? Should I be modernising my increasingly old-fashioned technique? Naw, we love you just the way you are. Personally I like the romantic restaurant (must be unique and interesting) and stroll in the park. The sex shop stuff I save for when I am established in the relationship.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Naw, we love you just the way you are. Personally I like the romantic restaurant (must be unique and interesting) and stroll in the park. Aw, thank you Romeo's classic romantic technique is saved for future generations of lucky women
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 22, 2005 Author Posted June 22, 2005 Why did I kiss him? Um, cuz he had the most kissable lips I've seen on a guy LOL. Yeah we had talked about the fact that I left my sex toys at the ex's so he said he'd buy me a toy, and I knew just the store, so to break the ice we decided way ahead of time that would be our first stop. I was like a kid hiding in her mother's skirts though, didn't leave his side, half hid behind him LOL. The dinner was very romantic - a ranch/country home turned restaurant out in the country and we took our time, excellent service and food. Then went for a stroll thru the "happening" part of the city with hundreds of other people, had coffee and dessert on an outdoor patio with live entertainment, then to a dance club, and quiet time in the car until it was time for his flight to leave. What else are you gonna do to kill time between 3 and 5am. We talked last night, and I commented that I feel like I still owe him, and he (somewhat jokingly) said I owe him LARGE. If he wants me to come see him, or if he wants to come here again there definitely will be a "talk" about expectations (ie. none for me) and then I'll see if he still wants to get together, that is, if he really does have a soft spot for me.
scratch Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Why did I kiss him? Um, cuz he had the most kissable lips I've seen on a guy LOL. We talked last night, and I commented that I feel like I still owe him, and he (somewhat jokingly) said I owe him LARGE. If he wants me to come see him, or if he wants to come here again there definitely will be a "talk" about expectations (ie. none for me) and then I'll see if he still wants to get together, that is, if he really does have a soft spot for me. I'd hazard a guess that you are open to romantic advances from this guy, just not sex UNLESS he offered you some sort of meaningful relationship. Am I right about this? If so, you went on a date for the exact right reasons a woman should! I think you claiming to not be interested was just semantic - you're willing to give the guy a chance to see if you can both get on the same page. In my (minority) opinion, this is exactly how a dating relationship should start. Just have fun, get to know each other and see if something is there - a lot of people on this site don't seem to be willing to go on a first date unless they are thinking of baby names.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 22, 2005 Author Posted June 22, 2005 You're right. I am not interested in a relationship with him right now, or with anyone for that matter. Even if I was, I doubt the long-distance thing would work for me. I'd hazard a guess that you are open to romantic advances from this guy, just not sex UNLESS he offered you some sort of meaningful relationship. Am I right about this? But you are also wrong in that I'm open to romantic advances INCLUDING sex UNLESS he offered me some sort of meaningful relationship...then I would turn and run the other way...maybe....lol....I have alot to learn about him, and him about me, and not sure I want to even go this route with him yet. But I would have sex with him cuz I believe it would be enjoyable.
froggytroat Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Like another poster said, go for the $150 dinner. Well, based on this, I'd say you, and the other poster, are sorry, golddigging bitches.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 23, 2005 Author Posted June 23, 2005 LOL nice!!! I don't need anyone else's money, I have plenty of my own. What the hell is so wrong with wanting to be treated once in a while. In fact, I had my credit card out ready to pay for the wine and he handed cash to the cashier.
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