Mapper71 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 So I got a wedding invitation from a former manager/coworker of mine who I worked with up until about 7 years ago when I moved away. We have stayed friends and are in touch on Facebook. This is the 3rd marriage for him (1st wife died, 2nd wife was nuts) and second marriage for her. He sent what basically amounted to a postcard with pictures of them and a link to a website where we could find all the details, accept or decline, and choose our meal. I am out of state and unable to attend, but neither on the postcard or on the website do they give their home address. I mean, I know his address and it can easily be found online, but what do I do about sending them a card with some money or a gift card in it? Did they purposely NOT give their address because they don't want any gifts because this is a 2nd and 3rd marriage for both of them? I mean I'm sure people who attend will give gifts. What should I do?
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Send them a Gift token and many good wishes, with an apology for not being able to attend. Maybe they haven't given their address, because everyone they have invited KNOWS their whereabouts....? It's standard and normal to give gifts, or offer some kind of token to a couple marrying... I'm not sure what the problem is. Where is your dilemma? 3
Author Mapper71 Posted May 10, 2016 Author Posted May 10, 2016 My dilemma is whether they intentionally left off their address so those not attending don't send anything. I highly doubt many people know their actual address! They could tell you where in the vicinity they lived, but not many would be able to rattle off their house number and street. It's possible he could have moved since I last knew where he lived.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 I'm sorry - why don't you ask them? You're on touch with him on Fb - how hard would it be to ask for some clarification? 2
Author Mapper71 Posted May 10, 2016 Author Posted May 10, 2016 Um, because I wouldn't want someone asking me "So are you expecting money or gifts or what?"
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 No, neither would I, but a - "I'm dreadfully sorry, I am unable to attend the wedding, due to a prior engagement. Apologies. Please let me know the address to which I might send my gift. Many congratulations, and apologies again." Would be fine. The reply will tell you all you need to know. 3
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 ...So, basically, you wanted someone to write your note for you? 1
mamabear32018 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 I don't see anything wrong with a sending a card with money or a gift card with your congratulations.
Author Mapper71 Posted May 10, 2016 Author Posted May 10, 2016 ...So, basically, you wanted someone to write your note for you? Well I'm certainly not going to be formal like that, but along those lines. Don't worry, no copyright infringement on what you wrote:laugh: 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Yeah, because you know, I got that registered at the Library of Congress.... 1
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 So I got a wedding invitation from a former manager/coworker of mine who I worked with up until about 7 years ago when I moved away. We have stayed friends and are in touch on Facebook. This is the 3rd marriage for him (1st wife died, 2nd wife was nuts) and second marriage for her. He sent what basically amounted to a postcard with pictures of them and a link to a website where we could find all the details, accept or decline, and choose our meal. I am out of state and unable to attend, but neither on the postcard or on the website do they give their home address. I mean, I know his address and it can easily be found online, but what do I do about sending them a card with some money or a gift card in it? Did they purposely NOT give their address because they don't want any gifts because this is a 2nd and 3rd marriage for both of them? I mean I'm sure people who attend will give gifts. What should I do? Why not just send her a note on facebook and ask for her home address so you can send a card with a gift certificate. Or it is possible that they don't want or need gifts this time around. Try not to stress about it.
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 Um, because I wouldn't want someone asking me "So are you expecting money or gifts or what?" "Are you two registered anywhere?" That is the question to ask. Chances are if they aren't and don't really care about gifts she'll tell you right away.
veggirl Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 You don't need to send a gift if you aren't going imo. I would if it was someone I was close to but a boss from 7 years ago?! I'd just rsvp no on the website and go about my day. 1
Gloria25 Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 You don't need to send a gift if you aren't going imo. I would if it was someone I was close to but a boss from 7 years ago?! I'd just rsvp no on the website and go about my day. Yeah, this is like a 2nd and/or 3rd wedding? IMO, they don't get the gifts that you'd give out to a couple's 1st wedding. I mean, I'm sure between the two of them, they have toasters, furniture, etc....stuff a 1st couple normally would get. If you want, just send a small gift - like a bottle of wine. With so many marriages under each of their belt, this one won't last and maybe the bottle of wine will help them make it last for a month or so.
GunslingerRoland Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 I wouldn't send a wedding gift if you aren't attending. It wouldn't be expected at all.
Recommended Posts