Men: Do You Feel MORE Attracted To Young Women As You Age?

May 10, 2016

My XW was 6 years older than me. During my single days after the divorce I was all over the spectrum. I don't think I ever consciously took age into account (unless the woman was +- 10 years). Looking back though, I have to tell you that I was more attracted to younger women - but not for the reasons you think.

I found women that were my age and older (at the time 42+) to be less romantic and more.... jaded? That's probably not the right word. Practical? They weren't cold, not by any definition. Just more... I'm struggling here. Ok, let me switch it around. I found younger women to have more "girl-ish" qualities. They were more romantic. More optimistic. More welcoming of a man in their lives and more interested in creating a "couple bubble" (the "we" not the "him and "her"). More willing to embrace their feminine and allow my masculine.

Does that make sense?

May 10, 2016

Post liked for actors references Mr Durden

Do you look your age? Im told I look younger clean shaved and on a good day. This also matters.

I look probably mid/late 20s, so only a little bit younger.

Turning 30 in a few months

It sounds more shallow, than anything.

That is a shallow assumption.

For instance, my mum is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet.

Beauty attracts, but personality keeps.

My dad's second marriage was to a woman ten years younger. They divorced, and he remarried my mother, who is two years older than him. He told me he thought she was just as "hot" in her forties.

Not saying there's anything wrong with that at all (if that's why you're saying this?).

I'm just pointing out the game.

Edited May 10, 2016 by Jabron1

May 10, 2016

The interesting thing is that the average age of marriage for men is 33 (just as their coming up to their sexual peak). Whilst the average age of marriage for women is 30 (past their sexual peak).

I read women peak sexually at 40

May 10, 2016

I read women peak sexually at 40

You need to stop reading Cosmo

I actually like older women, and find them very attractive, but that's just obvious BS.

May 10, 2016

Beauty attracts, but personality keeps.

^^ 100

May 10, 2016

You need to stop reading Cosmo

I read it in a Dear Abby advice column.

May 10, 2016

I read it in a Dear Abby advice column.

:lmao:

I am proper cracking up right now.

You get up to some funny stuff.

May 10, 2016

I feel more together now than I did in my 20s.

In my 20s = broke, living with my parents, second-hand car, spending whatever little money I had on clothes to go to the club.

In my 30s = established, money in the bank, home owner, nice car, save my money and invest, more polished as a person.

Looking at both, I would certainly go for the 30s me and not the 20s me

I like younger women not just because of their looks, but because they have less mileage on them. Most single women past 30 have been in several failed relationships, divorced, might have kids... they usually carry a lot of emotional baggage with them. I tried dating a divorced woman who was older than me and after 3 months I got out. 3 months felt like 3 years. She had a lot of issues and always brought up her past relationships... a younger woman I'd like to get her before all of the turmoil.

May 10, 2016

The sexual peak stuff is BS. But, as a point of reference, it isn't actually based on Cosmo, it's based on Kinsey's studies in the 1950s, when he theorized that peak sexuality for men and women corresponds to peak testosterone and estrogen, respectively. That led him to assert that peak sexuality for men is late teens-early 20s, and for women it's later 20s-early 30s.

But more recent research suggests that the whole idea of peak sexuality is bunk, anyway, because libido isn't just related to estrogen (or testosterone) levels; there are many many other factors involved. So, "peak sexuality" is not much use as an argument for anything one way or another.

May 10, 2016

I feel more together now than I did in my 20s.

In my 20s = broke, living with my parents, second-hand car, spending whatever little money I had on clothes to go to the club.

In my 30s = established, money in the bank, home owner, nice car, save my money and invest, more polished as a person.

Looking at both, I would certainly go for the 30s me and not the 20s me

I like younger women not just because of their looks, but because they have less mileage on them. Most single women past 30 have been in several failed relationships, divorced, might have kids... they usually carry a lot of emotional baggage with them. I tried dating a divorced woman who was older than me and after 3 months I got out. 3 months felt like 3 years. She had a lot of issues and always brought up her past relationships... a younger woman I'd like to get her before all of the turmoil.

But men have the same sort of "mileage" and baggage, and we get to deal with it, too. That's actually what messed *me* up.

Older men creeping on me when I was younger, bothered me (and even now: men in their forties, fifties, and sixties, claiming to be "young at heart" and so they want a younger woman). Hearing this sort of thing, starting with men who are the same age as you, in their late thirties, can also have a detrimental effect - especially when we're told that it's just something we should expect.

[]

Edited May 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

May 10, 2016

The sexual peak stuff is BS. But, as a point of reference, it isn't actually based on Cosmo, it's based on Kinsey's studies in the 1950s, when he theorized that peak sexuality for men and women corresponds to peak testosterone and estrogen, respectively. That led him to assert that peak sexuality for men is late teens-early 20s, and for women it's later 20s-early 30s.

But more recent research suggests that the whole idea of peak sexuality is bunk, anyway, because libido isn't just related to estrogen (or testosterone) levels; there are many many other factors involved. So, "peak sexuality" is not much use as an argument for anything one way or another.

Trying to convince women that their sexual peak is their early 20s is always an effort in debating denial.

Common sense dictates that beautiful women in their early 20s are the rock stars of the dating scene. But there's more to it than that.

A woman's peak fertility is in her early 20s. It begins to drop off significantly at 30. This is the reason men find younger women attractive. Not because men are 'shallow'; it's about nature.

Many Women Underestimate Fertility Clock's Clang : NPR

Your assertion that a woman's peak is in her 30s is frankly nuts.

May 10, 2016

Ehn.

Fertility and sexuality are two different things. As a woman who's sailed far past her early 20s (thank god, what a dismal time in life that was, thinking I had to make everyone happy), I can say that the sex I'm having is far better, and my depth of knowledge as it pertains to pleasing men (and myself) is far deeper, than it ever was when I was younger.

Thanks for the man-splaination, but I think I'll define "peak sexuality" for myself.

May 10, 2016

But more recent research suggests that the whole idea of peak sexuality is bunk, anyway, because libido isn't just related to estrogen (or testosterone) levels; there are many many other factors involved. So, "peak sexuality" is not much use as an argument for anything one way or another.

I tend to agree and can you tie that into older men feeling more attracted to young women as they age, presuming you're a man? If not a man, what's your experience with older male peers and their attraction to young women growing, or not, as they aged? Like a brother, father, uncle, etc?

I remember an uncle, back when I was in my late 20's and he in his mid 70s, who used to ogle and comment on the young ladies on the beach like he was still a young buck. At that point he had been married nearly 50 years. Still, his attraction to young women appeared to be as strong, or even stronger, than mine at the time, if only more overt. That would contravene the hormone stuff. At the time, I wrote it off to his ego writing checks his body couldn't cash.

May 10, 2016

I tend to agree and can you tie that into older men feeling more attracted to young women as they age, presuming you're a man? If not a man, what's your experience with older male peers and their attraction to young women growing, or not, as they aged? Like a brother, father, uncle, etc?

I remember an uncle, back when I was in my late 20's and he in his mid 70s, who used to ogle and comment on the young ladies on the beach like he was still a young buck. At that point he had been married nearly 50 years. Still, his attraction to young women appeared to be as strong, or even stronger, than mine at the time, if only more overt. That would contravene the hormone stuff. At the time, I wrote it off to his ego writing checks his body couldn't cash.

I think what serial muse (who's a woman) is saying, is that "peak sexuality" (or really, "peak fertility") isn't necessarily a good reason for why older men like younger women.

Let's get real—you'd be hard-pressed to find a man of any age who wouldn't find a svelte young woman in a bikini attractive. That's like attractive setting zero. It's almost too easy. But is it really because she's at "peak fertility?" I mean, maybe? But in the case of men like your uncle (and no offense to your uncle), it just starts to come off as gross and creepy after a while.

May 10, 2016

But men have the same sort of "mileage" and baggage, and we get to deal with it, too. That's actually what messed *me* up.

Older men creeping on me when I was younger, bothered me (and even now: men in their forties, fifties, and sixties, claiming to be "young at heart" and so they want a younger woman). Hearing this sort of thing, starting with men who are the same age as you, in their late thirties, can also have a detrimental effect - especially when we're told that it's just something we should expect.

Yes, there are men who have mileage and I can spot these guys from miles away.

There's growth then there's detriment.

There's a huge difference between a lady who has keeps failing in life and expects to be rescued... and a lady who is content with being single until she meets the right man and continues to work on herself. I'm not opposed to dating a woman my age but of all the women I've met that are around my age, they've brought with them A LOT of baggage I just don't want to take on.

May 10, 2016

But is it really because she's at "peak fertility?" I mean, maybe? But in the case of men like your uncle (and no offense to your uncle), it just starts to come off as gross and creepy after a while.

Yeah, I was using him as an example of testosterone waning and typical old age stuff setting in and, still, the eyes covet and the mind remembers, so attraction can come from various places as a man ages and dependent upon his personal psychology. TBH, my uncle didn't mind if people called him creepy. The Japanese did far more than that in WW2 when he was a POW. Other people's opinions didn't really matter to him.

That's all part of a personal psychology shaped by life and why some men are still attracted and some aren't. It varies. I fall on the side of aren't but a lot of guys don't and my answer was formulated from the loins, not eyes, meaning I can certainly deduce a young lady is beautiful, and I interact with them all the time, but that is different from them being *attractive*, as in for a sexual partner or mate. For other men that can be one and the same. We're all different.

Edited May 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

May 10, 2016

Men and women hit their sexual prime at different ages. I believe a woman's sexual prime is 23, and a man's is 34.

Sexual prime is not the same as optimum fertility...

I think you will find that women are far more sexually active in their late 30's - early 50's... blame it on hormones if you like, but that is the age when we are supposedly at it like rabbits where as guys are just about ready to put their feet up and have a cup of tea by that age in comparison... hence why we revert to masturbating like freaks while our partners are in front of the TV in the other room...

I may have gone past my optimum fertility but I have still yet to find a man who can keep up with the amount of sex I actually want and I really do want more as I have got older.

My body may have a few more lumps and bumps but by God its ALIVE! ITS ALIVE!

May 10, 2016

A woman's peak fertility is in her early 20s. It begins to drop off significantly at 30. This is the reason men find younger women attractive. Not because men are 'shallow'; it's about nature.

I agree with you that men find women in their early 20s as the most attractive. However, most women I know (including myself) didn't really start to crave and love sex until around the age of 32. I guess this is why most men say that older women are better in bed.

May 10, 2016

A woman's peak fertility is in her early 20s. It begins to drop off significantly at 30. This is the reason men find younger women attractive. Not because men are 'shallow'; it's about nature.

Also, you say this as if the two are mutually exclusive. It may be "natural," but it can sure come off as "shallow," too.

May 10, 2016

I'm 29. Girls 23-27 still look great to me. But I can barely stand talking to most girls younger than 24-25, they practically live in a different world from me. They won't give you the intellectual stimulation you'll need to keep yourself sane, not matter how gorgeous they are. The looks get old fast.

May 10, 2016

Objectifying the young and nubile is a past time for many men. It isn't about anything other than seeing women as objects who are there for men's entertainment in some cases. Old men ogling young girls has always been around even when I was a boy. It was considered humorous for elderly men to pinch the cheeks or try to hug girls. We humor the elderly and vilify the middle aged for much the same things, but seeing youth as attractive is pretty normal due to biology in even the most basic sense.

Youth and beauty awakens primal urges to protect and sexually conquer and that is pretty normal for some men. (I'm not suggesting they give in to those urges, of course, but it explains physical attraction through sight.) I can't tell you how many men in my career turn from beer bellied hateful Middle Agers with sour faces to sucking it in, joyful twenty year olds when a young girl comes into their vicinity with openess and smiles. It is the anti depressant middle aged men can't buy.

I think the OP is referring to dating or having a sexual relationship with younger girls as he gets older. Since he is barely 10-15 years older, for him, I don't find it odd. Some men prefer having an empty vessel to steer or a glob to mold. They enjoy the openess and wariness of someone who still has her whole life ahead of her and hasn't been scarred or closed off due to fear or sadness. Without baggage, women aren't as quick to anger, quick to vilify a man, or to realize how mediocre/average a guy really is. I mean, let's be real....older women with experience don't put up with half of the bs or gaslighting a young women will.

Some men just like the trophy gf or wife aspect of it because women are just assets to them....like a new car or house. Some men have lost a zest for life so they need someone who hasn't been pounded down by years of emotional abuse, financial difficulties, unfulfilled goals, etc. to give them a boost. Some women prefer younger men for the same reasons or because it revitalizes youth.

It may begin with the sexual aspect but it often imnvolves much more than that when someone makes a choice to go way out of their age group to date.

Often it is about ego, but sometimes it is just about trying to find someone who isn't quite so depressed by life. We all have to find joy inside of ourselves and stop relying on others to replenish it as we age, but other than that....

Nothing wrong with trying to find happiness, and btw, creepy was my daughter's friends' word, not mine.

Best,

G

Edited May 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs

May 10, 2016

To answer the OP's question in the thread title: No.

Look, I get the ego boost of having a much younger woman attracted to me. I am sure older women feel flattered to have much younger men attracted to them, even if they may not consider dating the younger guy. (Although perhaps not as much, I think a younger man expressing attraction for an older woman is more common than a younger woman expressing attraction for an older man. A 40-year-old woman who goes out to a bar will get hit on by men of all ages even those in their 20s. It will just happen.)

That said, I am done dealing w the flakiness and insecurity of women in their 20s. (Lest this sounds like a gender rant looking back I was an idiot in my 20s too.) Women in their 30s and 40s are more confident, more secure, *better in bed*, and just as importantly, are far more self-aware, considerate of their partner, and realistic when it comes to relationship expectations. The experiences that they had actually gave them some wisdom and maturity.

You see it here on LS. A young woman will write a thread, and it is the older women on here who will point out how her expectations are unrealistic, how she needs to say what she means instead of playing games and take responsibility, and so on. I'd rather be dating these older women who have this maturity and wisfom thank you very much.

May 10, 2016

I'm 29. Girls 23-27 still look great to me. But I can barely stand talking to most girls younger than 24-25, they practically live in a different world from me. They won't give you the intellectual stimulation you'll need to keep yourself sane, not matter how gorgeous they are. The looks get old fast.

There's a lot of truth in what you say... I'm in my 30s and some of these young ones are an instant migraine.

It's the yoga pants that kills me.

May 10, 2016

Heck no.

And it sucks cause I can't tell how old some women are so it makes it even more trouble to want to talk to some young woman and find out she's 23-25 instead of 27 or older.

May 10, 2016

Why do men go for younger women as they age? Maybe it's the level of physical attractiveness, maybe it's an experience thing, etc. I think those who go for younger women as they age are not very mature to begin with, they don't want an adult woman they want a little kid. One of my bfs who I see regularly is 10 years older than me (I'm 41 he's 51), issues aside between me and him as to why we are not exclusive is one thing, but he said he would feel pretty pathetic if he would be chasing after a 20 year old. I don't look nor act my age but he said wants a woman not a little girl. I respect him for that.

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Men: Do You Feel MORE Attracted To Young Women As You Age?

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