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my feelings for my boyfriend suddenly disappeared


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Posted
You are quick to conclude your feelings have died. He has only been gone 4 days.

 

We are all different, some people miss others a great deal and others are not the missing type. It's possible you are not the missing type. Are you in the habit of missing family, friends? Did you miss your ex-boyfriends? etc.

 

Before jumping the gun just give it more time.

 

I am def the missing type. like I used to cry when we were going to each other's houses after dates.. and when he was in Australia with me, he lived an hour away from me.. I missed him so much that I would just go to his workplace just to see him

Posted

Is it possible that you are feeling abandoned by your bf? Sometimes those feelings can shut off our loving feelings.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
Is it possible that you are feeling abandoned by your bf? Sometimes those feelings can shut off our loving feelings.

 

well yea little bit

because we used to talk all the time when we weren't spending the time together but because of time difference, we only talk for like an hour per day..or less and he has been busy settling down things and spending time with his family whom he hasn't seen in a year.. so I do feel abandoned.. and I feel like he is too busy with others that he does not think of me as much as he used to. I don't know why but I get that weird feeling but I have been trying to tell myself that I should understand and let him spend time with his family

Edited by dontwannagiveup123
Posted

I just feel like I can live without him and I don't love him anymore.

but I also do not want to give up on him because I feel like he is the one.

 

You don't love him but you're afraid of losing him because he has qualities you like and might not find in another man.

 

Let him go. Why? You have made it clear you do not love him.

Posted

Deciding on marriage after 3 months is not a good idea at such a young age.

 

If you felt this way while he was still in Oz with you.. you're not as in love with him as you want to be. Your lack of desire to reply with the same love he uses towards you.

 

This is why so many marriage end in divorce.... people get married with doubt and on the idea of being married..... you need to live a little more and grow within yourself.

Posted

That's what dating is for and why you don't start moving right in before some time has passed. Now you know this isn't really lasting. Dating is not a commitment. It's to find out if the person is the right person for a commitment.

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Posted

I started missing him today

I cried because I miss him so much and sent him a long message today

saying sorry for giving him cold shoulders..

I was right It was a temporary thing.

Posted
our relationship has always been great, except for one week where we were arguing about something. I just feel weird because when I was spending time with him, I always thought to myself "I love him a lot and I can't live without him , I just love him the way he is" and I tried so hard to make a good girlfriend.. I put lots of efforts. like when my bf texts me, I dont really wanna talk to him so I just reply like "ok, k,nothing" and stuff...

we are both 22 I cry a lot generally, I am very emotional but I haven't cried once since my boyfriend left.

like in the past, when my ex-boyfriend went abroad for two weeks I cried so much missing him but I dont feel that way towards my bf

 

A contradiction in terms. All your feelings have disappeared and yet you say you love him and miss him.

 

What is it you want to hear?

Posted
I started missing him today

I cried because I miss him so much and sent him a long message today

saying sorry for giving him cold shoulders..

I was right It was a temporary thing.

 

OP, I would still strongly caution you against relocating permanently at this point. Your feelings are all over the map and it's not a great idea to make such a huge change until you're on more solid ground with your boyfriend, emotionally.

 

Go and visit him for a few weeks this summer instead. Have you been to the US before? Specifically, to his area? Make sure you like it. What are your plans once you relocate - study? Work? Have you checked out the job market in his area? See if you mesh with his friends and family too.

 

Use this trip to get your feet wet and see if you can really envision yourself being there full-time. Coming from a fellow expatriate, it's critical that you do your research and get a feel for the place.

Posted

I seriously wouldn't move there permanently.

 

Australia is very different when it comes to the standard of living. What you're used to here in terms of wages and the quality of living will not be the case for the states. I know people who have lived on both places. It isn't easy to transition to their job market --- the pay is generally lower.

 

We have it good here. Seriously consider whether you would like to give your whole way of life up for a totally different set of circumstances and conditions.

 

Not worth doing this for a guy. Not unless you're soulmates and you can't find the equivalent to him in your own country. ...

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