Tabby_Cat Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 I want to know that I'm not the only person who seems to be stuck in serial short term relationships that never seem to go anywhere. I dated two guys in high school, both lasted about three months, both were kind of silly not serious at all relationships. Then I didn't date for almost four years and finally dated a guy in my second year of university. We had been friends for a year and had a good connection but he was deathly afraid of physical intimacy to the point that he couldn't even bring himself to hold my hand. I felt bad for him but also did not want to be in a relationship where I had to beg for affection, that lasted about 5 months. Cut to two first dates that did not go anywhere and two guys I briefly dated for around two months each, one who was only interested in sex (which I was not ready for) the other lied about his age to me and was super weird about it (we were almost 12 years apart). Then I meet a guy I really like in my last year of uni, we dated for about a month then I was moving back home (40 mins away from where he lived). He basically ended it telling me he didn't think he could come see me that often anymore. Summer after graduating I meet a guy who would be the first love of my life (and my first "lover" if you know what I mean, I was a late bloomer). I fell in love with him after about a month and a half of dating. He seemed to feel the same about me. Then around the 3 months mark our relationship turned sour, he turned out to be a very mean drunk with a suffocating family who eventually I came to resent. I ended that relationship after 4 months. Since then I've been trying online dating, went on one first date and didn't really like the guy. Tried dating someone else online, liked this one but I wasn't sure if I felt fully attracted to him. He also told me on the third date that he was moving away to another province in a year. I am not probably nor ever will be willing to move very far from my family. So we mutually decided to stop seeing one another. I am seeing a very frustrating pattern in my dating life. I can never seem to get past the fourth or fifth month without something going terribly wrong. Looking for some unbiased outside advice about what I may be doing wrong, perhaps I'm just meeting the wrong guys? Maybe I'm cursed lol.
Larryville Posted May 9, 2016 Posted May 9, 2016 TC you are absolutely not doing anything wrong. Because of the state of the world we live in now each of us are not longer of value... or should I say long term value in terms of dating or relationships. There is constant debate regarding whether or not real life meet or online meet is best but clearly does not matter. Take this site for instance, when I logged on (472 Viewing) just this series of threads alone and that is typical. If love or dating or relationships were easy we all would be doing something else besides the endless discussion on how to navigate, right? We are addicted to human train wrecks mimicking our own. Currently 99,233 threads as we all hash out the bad and the ugly of simply trying to meet someone. 1,620,797 responses to all of these issues with human interaction. TC there are 3,900 companies running dating sites... Why? Easy money Why so easy? Because they set us all up for fail, then we eventually get talked into "trying again" we piss away more money and time and so many of us endure heartache because we lack the ability to connect. Dating sites have made us all into disposable pawns struggling to be worth something to someone. Those who want to believe that meeting someone IRL somehow protects us from the inevitable is mistaken. If someone eventually fails us we can find another and TC that time frame of a few months before the boredom sets in, the realness of the individual you are with comes out and the disposable mentality of our current existence comes to the forefront. How you meet is of no consequence. This is today's reality, the connectivity of the world also exposes the many ways we no longer fit together. As being discussed here now, politics, religion, economics, race exactly why the OLD gurus now segment their sites to cover fat people, black people, Jewish people, conservative people, liberal people, single moms, city folks, country folks. This site and the endless growth of recycled misery here alone tells you that you are not alone. OLD would not be a $4.4 billion dollar industry if dating and meeting and maintaining were easy. More and more fail at becoming relevant to that special someone everyday. Some of us have thrown in the towel, while I use to remain somewhat optimistic I no longer do, and close to totally not caring. Looking for some unbiased outside advice about what I may be doing wrong, perhaps I'm just meeting the wrong guys? Maybe I'm cursed lol. TC not a damn thing, you are unfortunately extraordinarily normal One of these days I'm going to sit down and try to figure out how much money specifically I pissed away on such an obvious futile pursuit. That ends my rant for this eve
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