Barr82 Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 About 3 years ago, I made a post on this website about getting out of a toxic relationship. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and it gets easier with time and the no contact rule works, it really does. Not long after that post I met a girl at a party. We talked for a few weeks and went on some dates. She wanted all the things I did, Family, kids etc... I was older than her, but she was in the same state of mind as me. We started dating, she was good to me. After a year we moved to Florida together, things got bad. I showed 0 emotion towards here, I ignored her needs and flew home (ny) for months at a time. At home I didnt text her much and only skyped once in a while. This went on for a year, things were good between us, but not great, not how they could have been. Over the past 5/6 months I went into a deep, deep depression. I lashed out at her, never slept in the same bed as her, overall wasn't a good boyfriend. Last week her grandmother died, and I didnt flew home to be with her, while home we fought all weekend and she kissed someone else. The night before she did this I have a breakdown. The first time I cried in 3 years, and I wanted to change my life for the better, including me. Ive worked on myself and Im happy again. Ive talked to a therapist and we came to the conclusion Ive had a wall up during our whole relationship, and didnt connect with her because of my previous bad relationships. She has a lot going on in her life, graduating from college, moving for a job, working 2 jobs and dealing with me. I have came around and she keeps asking why I couldn't be this way before. Shes to the point where she doesn't know what she wants but needs space. She tells me she doesn't feel the same towards me and is angry,sad and mad around me. My question: Do I just bail on this relationship and leave the area, giving her space or do i give her space in florida. Im not depressed like I was during my last break up, but this girl is great and want to see if we have a future together. She has stated she doesnt feel the same about me, but has alot going on. She thinks its best if I go home She loves me and cares but needs to figure out her life Am I holding onto hope with her or should I show her the guy I really am?
Itspointless Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Am I holding onto hope with her or should I show her the guy I really am? To be honest, I think you have shown her who you really are at this moment. I would say leave this girl alone. She deserves to find herself and be happy with someone who is able to be open to her now. Perhaps when you work on yourself more than you can learn to be more open and try to find love again. Sorry. 2
gimlynick Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Yeah, I'm sorry. I understand that you've had very deep rooting problems, but you kinda played with her feelings because of this. She is hurt because of you. It's damage that cannot be healed in a short period of time. Give eachother space, maybe, in a future, you can restart dating. But my advice right now is that you have to work A LOT on yourself. Get yourself sorted, get out of that depression ( I know that this isn't a thing that you can do from one day to another ), start enjoying life again, start loving YOURSELF again, and then, when you are completely back on track, you can try to reconsile if you still want. Good luck my friend, Take care.
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