Iaminnocentgul Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 So... I went on my first date. I like this guy for his personality. But there are three things which has put me in thinking mode: 1. He is too skinny for his age. I mean he is 42 and 10.5 lbs in weight. He is good in height 5 ft 10" but I find him skinny (because he is a marathon runner). 2. His mouth has foul smell. Initially it didn't notice but after sometime it started developing some sort of smell. Later I discovered he likes fish and his mouth smelled exactly like that. (I dont like fish) 3. He looked little bit older to me. Now the point I am trying to make here is. I liked his personality and we have some many things in common. We shared a good laugh and he is intelligent n smart. But these 3 things have put me off. How should I approach him to tell that and him not getting offended? Or even should i tell him or not? I am posting this because I really liked his mannerisms and bit puzzled that should i go for furthur date or not.
basil67 Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Don't see him again if you think it won't work. But your comments #1 and #3 make you sound very shallow and are about things he can't change anyway.....so don't air those thoughts. The breath? I would address it if you are going to stay with him, but not if you're going to end it. If you do end it, just cite a lack of chemistry and leave it at that.
Boomerangmagnet Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 After a first date? 1. Stop running marathons and put on some weight. 2. Stop eating fish and go to the dentist. 3. Be born later than you were. Good luck! 1
preraph Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 He's probably not going to stop running for you and put on weight, so that's not going to happen unless he gets an injury. If he's a marathon runner, he's eating healthy and probably also taking vitamins, and they can make your breath smell atrocious. You could gently try telling him he needs a tic-tac before addressing you in person much less anything else, but some people are very sensitive and won't like it or be too embarrassed to carry on. Nothing to be done about his age. No one is perfect. The breath thing is probably fixable. Keep a breath spritzer by the bed and use it on him. If he can't take it, let him go. I had to push mints on a friend of mine. I did it in the car. I could smell her breath as soon as she got in the car. I don't know why. Very stale smelling and strong. Probably needs to drink more water. Anyway, she said "No, thanks" when i offered her a mint, so I put my neck out there and said, "You know, when someone offers you a mint, you are ALWAYS supposed to take it," and from then on, she did. 2
preraph Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 P.S. you could start innocently making him cookies and stuff, but he may not take the bait. Sounds more disciplined than I could ever be.
spiderowl Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 (edited) I would say don't bother. If a guy can't turn up for a date smelling nice, then he is a bit hapless to say the least. You say he looked a bit old. That would bother me - not because a guy was old but if he looked older than his age would suggest, then he may be lying. I am always suspicious if people look older than they say. It's not unusual for people to lie about their age. Having said that, if he is a marathon runner, he may look older because he is thinner and because of exposure to the weather. Edited May 8, 2016 by spiderowl 1
CarrieT Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 We shared a good laugh and he is intelligent n smart. But these 3 things have put me off. How should I approach him to tell that and him not getting offended? Or even should i tell him or not? I am posting this because I really liked his mannerisms and bit puzzled that should i go for furthur date or not. The bottom line is that after a first date, you are put off by some minor things. There is no reason to tell him. Just decline a second date if asked and explain that the chemistry isn't there for you. The nit-picky things that bother you may not bother someone else so there is no reason to tell him at all. 2
preraph Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Listen, people are the last to know they smell bad or their breath smells bad. You become immune to it. That's why it is up to your partner or family or best friend to gently let you know.
Author Iaminnocentgul Posted May 8, 2016 Author Posted May 8, 2016 Listen, people are the last to know they smell bad or their breath smells bad. You become immune to it. That's why it is up to your partner or family or best friend to gently let you know. Exactly Preraph. Hence I feel I should let him know for his breath. I am not concern about us as of now. But I want to be polite to let him know that. Because it's a bit downer for his good personality. I did try to tell him by initiating an indirect question (hoping he will ask in return the same) - What is a turn-off for you in a girl? And he never asked me back. It became a kind of self joke on me I did tell him about his weight saying that he will get more girls (with a wink) if he increases his weight and he accepted that by saying he will eat more burgers now. Preraph - cookies may be an option! Thanks!
CarrieT Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Listen, people are the last to know they smell bad or their breath smells bad. You become immune to it. That's why it is up to your partner or family or best friend to gently let you know. The OP is not a family or a best friend. She went on ONE DATE with the guy... Exactly Preraph. Hence I feel I should let him know for his breath. I am not concern about us as of now. But I want to be polite to let him know that. Because it's a bit downer for his good personality. I did try to tell him by initiating an indirect question (hoping he will ask in return the same) - What is a turn-off for you in a girl? And he never asked me back. It became a kind of self joke on me I did tell him about his weight saying that he will get more girls (with a wink) if he increases his weight and he accepted that by saying he will eat more burgers now. Preraph - cookies may be an option! Thanks! I think you are WAY off base. If the guy is a marathon runner, the last thing he is going to want to do is eat cookies and put on weight. It is not your place and there are girls who will want a guy that is skinny. Why are you assuming he will get more girls by putting on weight?
Author Iaminnocentgul Posted May 9, 2016 Author Posted May 9, 2016 The OP is not a family or a best friend. She went on ONE DATE with the guy... I think you are WAY off base. If the guy is a marathon runner, the last thing he is going to want to do is eat cookies and put on weight. It is not your place and there are girls who will want a guy that is skinny. Why are you assuming he will get more girls by putting on weight? Got your point. Taken it! Thanks and cheers
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