McDooland Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Hey everyone, So my girlfriend and I are almost 2 years together now. I really love her, she is smart and funny aswell, she can also get along very well with my friends too! The thing is that she is gaining alot of weight lately, if I try to get her out to go skating or walking together she doesn't want to. She doesn't really have any hobby's and watches alot of TV. Personally I get annoyed by these things, because I want to get out and be active. I have tried to talk about these things, but sadly without succes. I am slowly losing interest in her and I feel really bad about that, I don't want to lose her Does somebody experienced something similar in their relationship? Or does anyone have some tips for me? Thank you and have a nice day!
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Don't mention her weight. Do sit her down & tell her you think that you two are in a rut & your relationship is growing stale. Tell her you want to re-ignite things & you want to be active together. Make it about how she can help you stay connected. If she still does nothing end the relationship because she lost interest too. 6
Arieswoman Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 McDooland, You don't say how old you both are? It could be that this relationship has run its course and you need to part company. You say that she doesn't have any hobbies - has she always been that way inclined? You certainly need to have a talk with her and tell her your concerns. Good luck. 1
RedPurpleOrange Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Well, I admire curvy ladies and am trying to get over the ex at the moment. If you...have a number I could call...a smart, funny, curvy lady is my type of thang... 3
elaine567 Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 I agree with D0nnivian, DO NOT mention her weight. Start small, a walk around the park maybe and gradually up the activity. If you suggest a 20 mile hike up a hill, she is going to just say no 1
Gloria25 Posted May 9, 2016 Posted May 9, 2016 Well, I admire curvy ladies and am trying to get over the ex at the moment. If you...have a number I could call...a smart, funny, curvy lady is my type of thang... What people have the nerve to call "curvy" now a days is far from it. Curvy doesn't jiggle and/or resemble cottage cheese or a top of a muffin. "Curvy" means "curves"...not flab and/or the Pillsbury Dough guy. Mad Men's "Joan" (Christina Hendrix) is big, beautiful, and "curvy". Back to topic... To the OP, it takes 1 1/2 to 2 years of actual "dating" (not co-workers, friends, LDRs, shack-ups) to get to know someone. You're at the two year mark. She's gained weight and has no interest in being active. Up to you as to whether or not you find that acceptable. As for the other things besides weight? All relationships have a "lulls", a successful couple doesn't sit around and wait for things to get "new" and/or "exciting"...they get off their duff and do things to keep the flame going and/or re-ignite that flame (i.e. date nite, picking up a new activity/hobby). Maybe you can try getting her to go to the gym with you, do a sport, take up hiking (those hiking clubs can be cool)...and, that way you can tackle the boredum and hopefully ignite an interest in physical activity for her. But, after you make known to her your concerns and/or try to get her motivated and she slips back, you have a decision to make. If you decide to stay, you cannot bring it up again...EVER 1
love1336x Posted May 9, 2016 Posted May 9, 2016 I agree what everyone is saying here. Talk to her afterwards if nothing changes (and I aren't saying over night) maybe after couple months. Let her go.
BelleSkye Posted May 9, 2016 Posted May 9, 2016 (edited) Going against the flow with the other posters.... When I was in a relationship - I was about 50kgs (whats that for you overseas people - 110 lbs?) My height is 163cm or 5.3foot... Anyway - due to me starting the pill and new working conditions, I put on about 8 kgs and found it very difficult to eat right and make time for exercise (this lifestyle would eventually be part of my current PTSD). My ex would come home around 16:00, play games and wait for me to cook....which landed up being after 21:00 as I mostly got home around 19:30. By then, I would wolf down any snack that was in the house while making dinner and he insisted that I have dinner with him as well which was way after 21:00...the days he cooked was all the 'greasy, hang-over food' options. He then also subtly hinted that I put on weight...I had no idea what to do - anything healthy required time to make or prepare (and I usually worked until 2am every night) and I spent most of my time on the road (traffic, traveling to site etc) and was exhausted when I went to bed - it was difficult to get up early to do exercise or get enough sleep. This lifestyle forced me to give up any hobbies I had and if I had some free time - I would play games or watch tv. He eventually broke up with me - and I'm still trying to come to terms about my extra weight that I picked up while being with him. Please be considerate to her lifestyle - perhaps try to help with her meal plans? Ask her to join a weigh-less group? Say it will benefit your sex life. Edited May 9, 2016 by BelleSkye
Buddhist Posted May 9, 2016 Posted May 9, 2016 People lose interest in each other all the time. It happens. Perhaps she's losing interest in you too?
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