Gloria25 Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 As a woman in this "progressive" and "modern" world, I've been thinking about the options for me when it comes to dating/relationships now a days... I can either marry and be forced to go to work because my husband is too lazy to get a 2nd job; and, dump my kids in daycare/with relatives/etc. I also can be forced to pay half for my engagement/wedding ring too. We can beg our relatives to also pay for our bills/stuff - cuz we're entitled to kids and a marriage (instead of working hard on our own, having some pride and figuring things out). or, I can date for infinity with guys who know that cuz so many women are available to hook-up, date, and/or shack-up with them w/o any expectations (i.e. that he provide/protect, pay on a date, pay for their wedding ring). I think that with these two options, I rather just stay alone and just hook-up when i need my "itch" scratched. IMO, this is the best time to be a man...I think we women were fooled by the women's movement. Now, we're reduced to workerbees who no longer are treated like "ladies" by the men. Either way, we're screwed.
Jabron1 Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 IMO, this is the best time to be a man...I think we women were fooled by the women's movement. It depends... If a guy is happy playing the field, and taking things as they come with a relaxed attitude, then I agree. It is a very good time to be a man. But not such a good time to be a man that wants to settle down and create a family. 3
Author Gloria25 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Posted May 8, 2016 It depends... If a guy is happy playing the field, and taking things as they come with a relaxed attitude, then I agree. It is a very good time to be a man. But not such a good time to be a man that wants to settle down and create a family. It is a good time for a guy to settle down and create a family. Cuz, he doesn't have to provide/protect. Women are working and will pay half/all the bills and kids will be taken care of by daycare/relatives. Now, granted, he may lose out on sex and/or her looks as the marriage progresses - but guys still have porn...so, not too much bad of a deal.
purplesorrow Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 When would you see your husband if he worked 2 jobs? Why is that a good situation for him? 1
purplesorrow Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 It is a good time for a guy to settle down and create a family. Cuz, he doesn't have to provide/protect. Women are working and will pay half/all the bills and kids will be taken care of by daycare/relatives. Now, granted, he may lose out on sex and/or her looks as the marriage progresses - but guys still have porn...so, not too much bad of a deal. I don't know who's life you're peeking in at. I worked from home and took care of our child. Cooked all of his meals and maintained my looks. His looks are the ones that were lost. 1
Jabron1 Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 (edited) It is a good time for a guy to settle down and create a family. Cuz, he doesn't have to provide/protect. Women are working and will pay half/all the bills and kids will be taken care of by daycare/relatives. Now, granted, he may lose out on sex and/or her looks as the marriage progresses - but guys still have porn...so, not too much bad of a deal. You are forgetting the divorce rate, and that men are considered the only disposable part of the family unit. It's like building a house on sand. Like another poster said the other day, a lot of men under 30 have grown up seeing older guys around them that have gone through divorce. Now factor in sex without serious commitment, and the decision to settle doesn't look so attractive. Edited May 8, 2016 by Jabron1 2
Shining One Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 As a woman in this "progressive" and "modern" world, I've been thinking about the options for me when it comes to dating/relationships now a days... I can either marry and be forced to go to work because my husband is too lazy to get a 2nd job; and, dump my kids in daycare/with relatives/etc. I also can be forced to pay half for my engagement/wedding ring too. We can beg our relatives to also pay for our bills/stuff - cuz we're entitled to kids and a marriage (instead of working hard on our own, having some pride and figuring things out). or, I can date for infinity with guys who know that cuz so many women are available to hook-up, date, and/or shack-up with them w/o any expectations (i.e. that he provide/protect, pay on a date, pay for their wedding ring). I think that with these two options, I rather just stay alone and just hook-up when i need my "itch" scratched. IMO, this is the best time to be a man...I think we women were fooled by the women's movement. Now, we're reduced to workerbees who no longer are treated like "ladies" by the men. Either way, we're screwed.We get it. You hate equality. There are plenty of men out there who hate equality too. Why not seek out one of them for your "traditional" relationship needs? 8
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 As a woman in this "progressive" and "modern" world, I've been thinking about the options for me when it comes to dating/relationships now a days... I can either marry and be forced to go to work because my husband is too lazy to get a 2nd job; and, dump my kids in daycare/with relatives/etc. I also can be forced to pay half for my engagement/wedding ring too. We can beg our relatives to also pay for our bills/stuff - cuz we're entitled to kids and a marriage (instead of working hard on our own, having some pride and figuring things out). or, I can date for infinity with guys who know that cuz so many women are available to hook-up, date, and/or shack-up with them w/o any expectations (i.e. that he provide/protect, pay on a date, pay for their wedding ring). I think that with these two options, I rather just stay alone and just hook-up when i need my "itch" scratched. IMO, this is the best time to be a man...I think we women were fooled by the women's movement. Now, we're reduced to workerbees who no longer are treated like "ladies" by the men. Either way, we're screwed. The sad thing is that you believe you even 'need' a man, at all; and the pictures you paint are so negative and depressing as to give you the serious option in either case of slashing your wrists - which would seem a pleasurable thing, by comparison. You're so jaded in your outlook, Gloria, and that's due to the conditioning and upbringing you've experienced. But that's just you. And you permit yourself to continue to be affected by it to your core, so that the men you seek are those with 'loser' carved invisibly across their foreheads. You don't seek a man. You seek your father. Because that's the influence, and impression of men, you were exposed to. My father was a wonderful man, and coming up to his level would be hard for any man, in my eyes. And incidentally, my H says that if Rebirth IS a reality - he wants to come back as a woman. Funny how the other side always seems greener, eh? 1
Woggle Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 There are a lot of dysfunctional and screwed up people out there of both genders so it is very hard to find a healthy relationship these days but there are people out there who have rejected the societal condition and it is not that hard to find them.
basil67 Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 As someone who is a defacto married feminist, I feel very sorry for you. You might think that feminists all have horrible lives, but from your attitude, I think that you're the one with the horrible life. However, if you're happy as you are....then carry on. 4
Lois_Griffin Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 I can date for infinity with guys who know that cuz so many women are available to hook-up, date, and/or shack-up with them w/o any expectations (i.e. that he provide/protect, pay on a date, pay for their wedding ring). There's a lot of truth to this statement. There are so many women who are more than willing to have kids with men and buy houses with them and get all tangled up legally and financially in all kinds of things one does in a marriage without actually being married. Then they whine and cry and wonder why the man they're with won't marry them. Back in the day they used to say, "why marry the cow when the milk is free?" and there's definite truth to that statement, even today. 1
Woggle Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 With most if you give them something worth investing in they will invest. What motivation does a modern have to marry?
MJJean Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Wait...a man is "lazy" if he won't get a second job when his wife doesn't even have a first job? A woman can be "forced" to help pay for rings? I'm sorry, but if a man working a full time job cannot support his family alone, his wife should be working to contribute. If a woman doesn't want to pay for rings or whatnot, no one can force her to do so. She has the option of walking away. Then you talk of having relatives pay for things out of a sense of entitlement rather than having some pride, working hard, and figuring things out. Yet somehow it's not entitlement when a woman expects a man to fully support her?
wmacbride Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 I really don't get the hang up about both spouses paying for an engagement ring. it symbolizes that two people are planning to form a lifelong, loving partnership, so why should both be involved in buying it? I paid for half of mine, and we're happily married. I wasn't looking for a daddy or another child, i wanted a loving partner, friend and spouse. I don't, per se, "need' him for anything other than he makes me happy and a better person for being with him. 2
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 I think we women were fooled by the women's movement. Now, we're reduced to workerbees who no longer are treated like "ladies" by the men. Either way, we're screwed. Women were fooled for too long for thinking they don't have any choice but to stay at home and get a guy to do (and therefore expect) everything. There still are plenty of guys who would love nothing more than to be in a Stepford wife type of marriage - be careful what you wish for though, these are the guys who won't blink an eyelid at trading off for a younger model given half a chance, and you wouldn't be able to do anything about it without financial independence. For all of these guys, some of those provider/protector type guys are still as they are, but they also got clued up on giving their women the right / option / opportunity to do whatever it is they want to do as well to, you know, make it fair. Most of the women I know are working through choice in careers they worked hard to get to, and are super proud of their achievements. They also are being treated like 'ladies' by men they married for love, not for what they can get out of them. There are plenty of good guys around, who would be happy to accommodate you and be happy with what you have to offer them - maybe they're not where you live?
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