krista28 Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Recently I met this guy on pof. We went out a few times and had fun. Then eventually we got in a fight about him ditching out on me. I may have freaked out a little bit and it took days for him to forgive me. He then did and we went on another date and slept together as I thought this would fix things. Well no he said he didn t things would workout because he saw a warning sign before when I freaked out on him before and he cant forget it and he doesn t like me enough to date me because of it. He then said I hope you meet someone that likes you as much as you like them. I then asked him if we could be friends.. he said yes but only friends and well see how the future road goes because he doesn't think things would workout with me but he doesn't know. He also said that he feels for me but not enough to get past his doubts about me or persue a relationship. I don't even know where to go from here. I feel like hes lieing and does have feelings for me but hes being stubborn. We are both virgos so we are a match.. I told him how much I do care about him.but its not working...So do I persue this friendship? Wait for him to text me? I don't know what to do... we've all dated guys who ended up likeing us but this is a mind ****. This guy seems very selfish too. I don't know whether I should be his friend or ignore him in every way.
Shanex Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Ditching on you .. Sleeping together to fix things... Dude still upset... With "friends" like this who need enemies? 2
Zahara Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 You should ignore him. He's not interested in you and is just letting you down gently by proposing friendship. Krista, I can't count the multitude of threads you've created -- guy after guy that's treated you badly or dropped you like a hot potato. And even after all those experiences and if only lessons learned, you still don't seem to have the capacity to make good choices. You don't offer sex to a man to fix things! Why aren't you making better choices? I can't even keep track of what guy you're talking about. In your past threads, many advised you to lay off men and work on your self-esteem and focus on becoming independent. It seems like you're still stuck in a cycle. 2
Author krista28 Posted May 7, 2016 Author Posted May 7, 2016 Zahara I guess your right. Hes not interested amd I just wish hed been more honest. I dont get why he keeps texting me then. Mahbe he feels bad. Your right I need to ignore him. Amd I wasnt chasing this guy. Believe it or not we had seen each other a few times before.. and he told me he was interested in seeing where things went. So I dont even know anymore. Zahara you can't blame me. There are not mamy nice men anymore.
Zahara Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 (edited) Zahara I guess your right. Hes not interested amd I just wish hed been more honest. I dont get why he keeps texting me then. Mahbe he feels bad. Your right I need to ignore him. Amd I wasnt chasing this guy. Believe it or not we had seen each other a few times before.. and he told me he was interested in seeing where things went. So I dont even know anymore. Zahara you can't blame me. There are not mamy nice men anymore. He's telling you he's not interested. Listen to what he's saying and stop trying to read in between the lines. These guys keep doing the same thing to you over and over. Maybe it isn't about a lack of good men out there but more so your broken picker and your desperate need to find a man. When you have poor self-esteem and you're constantly seeking men to fill a void after each and every disappointment, chances are you're going to make bad choices and pick the wrong guy. Why? Because you're clouded and in dire need to find someone to make you feel better. So the first guy that shows up, you're blindly all over it. And if you've been feeling let down quite a bit now, take a break. Go and invest some time in healing yourself. Jumping from guy to guy isn't the solution. Edited May 7, 2016 by Zahara
Author krista28 Posted May 7, 2016 Author Posted May 7, 2016 Thank you I dont think its self esteem maybe just lonelines. But your right half the time these guys are no good and not worthy of me anyways. And your right its desperation maybe. I guess right now I just want to pay this guy back... I think hes bad news.... pretty sure he is and at this point I wanna show him what he lost.
Zahara Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 (edited) Your thread history is a clear indication. Dependence and desperation isn't a sign of a healthy sense of self. He doesn't care what he's lost. If he cared, he wouldn't be letting you go. Edited May 8, 2016 by Zahara 1
Author krista28 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Posted May 8, 2016 Maybe but lottts of women are like that. I need to show him and I will. But I wont take him back.
Zahara Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Maybe but lottts of women are like that. I need to show him and I will. But I wont take him back. That's a very poor justification. Good luck to you. 2
truth_seeker Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Recently I met this guy on pof. We went out a few times and had fun. Then eventually we got in a fight about him ditching out on me. I may have freaked out a little bit and it took days for him to forgive me. He then did and we went on another date and slept together as I thought this would fix things. Well no he said he didn t things would workout because he saw a warning sign before when I freaked out on him before and he cant forget it and he doesn t like me enough to date me because of it. You gave him a gift. The perfect excuse to sleep with you and then ditch you. Wow. I mean, Wow!
Author krista28 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Posted May 8, 2016 thanks zahara if you want to be helpful to people on here id suggest being less harsh. IT doesn't help people in distress to be mean or nasty.
Author krista28 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Posted May 8, 2016 You gave him a gift. The perfect excuse to sleep with you and then ditch you. Wow. I mean, Wow! yeah I don't buy what he said either.
truth_seeker Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 yeah I don't buy what he said either. In the future, do not sleep with a guy thinking it will "fix" things. It will only make things worse for you.
Zahara Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 thanks zahara if you want to be helpful to people on here id suggest being less harsh. IT doesn't help people in distress to be mean or nasty. Unfortunately, it's hard to help those who refuse to help themselves. You've received tons of advice from all your past threads but you keep repeating the same patterns. You don't get the sugar coated version anymore. Your justification to keep doing what you're doing is based on the generalization that most women are dependent and desperate. So it's acceptable behavior on your part. Failing to find insight or self-reflect into your behavior will only keep you where you've always been. There's nothing mean, nasty or harsh about that. It's just the truth. Hope you find the help you need. Take care.
Author krista28 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Posted May 8, 2016 I am just fine. Thank you. And I will have you know this man actually persued me from day one, and I was not chasing him. I am a nice girl and unfortunately I get taken advantage of. But I am proud of myself and I did tell that guy what a low life piece of crap he is...and also told him to have fun dating single mothers because those are the only girls he gets. (obviously not a quality guy). I can be proud of myself for that and can also attest that I will not let a low life guy let me feel like that again. I can go for quality or nothing. That is what I can do.
truth_seeker Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 I am just fine. Thank you. And I will have you know this man actually persued me from day one, and I was not chasing him. I am a nice girl and unfortunately I get taken advantage of. But I am proud of myself and I did tell that guy what a low life piece of crap he is...and also told him to have fun dating single mothers because those are the only girls he gets. (obviously not a quality guy). I can be proud of myself for that and can also attest that I will not let a low life guy let me feel like that again. I can go for quality or nothing. That is what I can do. Stay away from POF, Match, Tinder, etc... look to meet men IRL. Most of the con artists are on dating websites and apps.
Author krista28 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Posted May 8, 2016 Zahara I can demand respect and nothing less that's what I can do
Author krista28 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Posted May 8, 2016 Truth seeker is right a lot of men on pof just want sex.
jessicastevens Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 In my experience guys on tinder are only looking for hookups. If you want something more serious try match or coffee meets bagel.
truth_seeker Posted May 9, 2016 Posted May 9, 2016 In my experience guys on tinder are only looking for hookups. If you want something more serious try match or coffee meets bagel. Are you the same Jessica on Epic Tinder?
Blanco Posted May 9, 2016 Posted May 9, 2016 and also told him to have fun dating single mothers because those are the only girls he gets. (obviously not a quality guy). I absolutely hate this mentality that a woman is automatically inferior because she's a single mother; about as much as I hate the notion that only low-quality guys would subject themselves to dating single mothers. 2
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