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Meeting Her Friends Too Soon???

Reitteg813

By Reitteg813
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Reitteg813 Established Member

Reitteg813

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So this girl and I just hung out for the first time last Saturday. She just came over and we just sat on my bed and talked for almost 2 hours, second time was the very next day and we just went out to lunch and ended with us making out in the car, next day we hung out again, (big mistake, too much too soon) and she invited me over what sounded like to cuddle and watch a movie together just me and her. I was hesitant but hard to reject and navigation to cuddle up with a cute girl you're seeing and watch movies all night on a rainy night. This is only our third time hanging out keep in mind in just 3 days and I walk in and her roommates are home and we end up just sitting on the couch watching tv for hours.

 

To me this was disappointing of course, but I also think hanging out 3 days in a row right off the bat, and meeting her friends wayyyy too soon messed things up between us. In my opinion, the beginning should be a lot of 1 on 1 time to really get to know each other and do things together, not sit on a couch with her friends and her when I hardly even know the girl.

 

Anyone else agree and see how this could possibly mess things up? Was just a bit awkward

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Reitteg813 Established Member

Reitteg813

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Was thinking of sending this text to her in like a week and a half when finals are over....

 

Hey, what's up. Haven't heard from you in a while. I know last time we hung out was just kinda whatever. Was just weird to me meeting your friends wayyy too soon and not spending enough 1 on 1 time with you before that. I met your friends before I hardly even got to know you lol. I just wasn't myself cause it was an odd situation and caught me off guard. Anyways, just seeing if you d like to get together this weekend and grab something to eat and pick up where we left off before that night.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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If you sent me a text like that I'd never speak to you again. You are overthinking everything. Just be cool. It was all casual. Do put more then 5 minutes between the end of you last date & the start of your next but other than that it seems like you are doing more right then wrong.

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Reitteg813 Established Member

Reitteg813

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If you sent me a text like that I'd never speak to you again. You are overthinking everything. Just be cool. It was all casual. Do put more then 5 minutes between the end of you last date & the start of your next but other than that it seems like you are doing more right then wrong.

 

 

 

Hahahha why's that such a bad text to send? Ive never sent anything like that but it's not bad explaining what happened

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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It's a bad text because you seem paranoid. It happened. It's over. Date her or don't but don't go on & on about it.

 

 

 

 

You met friends big deal. It's not like she took you home to her parents & introduced you them as the man she plans to marry.

 

 

Chill.

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Reitteg813 Established Member

Reitteg813

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It's a bad text because you seem paranoid. It happened. It's over. Date her or don't but don't go on & on about it.

 

 

 

 

You met friends big deal. It's not like she took you home to her parents & introduced you them as the man she plans to marry.

 

 

Chill.

 

Yeah true. I'll keep it much shorter. But it did mess things up. I hardly know the girl, just hung out for the first time 2 days ago, and already hanging out with her roommates. Never meet a girls friends that soon. Things are usually more solidified before i met them. More one on one tkme

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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Yeah true. I'll keep it much shorter. But it did mess things up. I hardly know the girl, just hung out for the first time 2 days ago, and already hanging out with her roommates. Never meet a girls friends that soon. Things are usually more solidified before i met them. More one on one tkme

 

Then ask her out on a date.

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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I really don't understand what the big deal is. Especially when I was younger, most of the time I was with my friends when I met the guy so he had to hang out with all of us before we ever spent time alone.

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Reitteg813 Established Member

Reitteg813

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I really don't understand what the big deal is. Especially when I was younger, most of the time I was with my friends when I met the guy so he had to hang out with all of us before we ever spent time alone.

 

Yeah...idk just alwyss the way I've done things. Last 4-5 girls I've been with we had much more one on one time together before I just sat there and hung out with their friends for 4-5 hours.

 

Hanging out with her friends after just one date doesn't give you the option to continue to really build a connection and chemistry which usually happens during one on one time asking questions, talking, listening, doing an activity together, not just sitting on the couch together watchjng tv for hours.

 

ANDDDD...this is the big thing. Completely ruined the mood for me and left me like wtf why are her friends here and why'd she text me perfect cuddle weather

 

Before I came over she texted me "perfect cuddle weather, come over!"

 

So I show up expecting me and her to be on the couch or in her bed alone (no sex this early, not expecting that) cuddling and watching tv. I walk in and they're just hanging out in the living room and I just sit on the couch next to them. Complete opposite of what I was expecting. So that's why it was weird and pissed me off

LostOnes05 Established Member

LostOnes05

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Dude that text is a horrible idea. Like on scale of 0-horrible, yeah it's definitely horrible. I think you are right though about have group dates too soon. In that scenario you get absorbed in the group but not as her boyfriend...as just a friend.

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Reitteg813 Established Member

Reitteg813

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Dude that text is a horrible idea. Like on scale of 0-horrible, yeah it's definitely horrible. I think you are right though about have group dates too soon. In that scenario you get absorbed in the group but not as her boyfriend...as just a friend.

 

Well it wasn't exactly the group thing as much as it was her basically telling me we are going to cuddle and then j show up and all of her roommates are there and we don't cuddle we just all sit on the couch together and watch tv hours. Just disappointing expecting to go cuddle with an girl, just you and her, and then you show up and all her roommates are there.

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Reitteg813 Established Member

Reitteg813

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Can this thread deleted lol. I decided what I'm going to say to her in like 2nweeks of no contact

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Can this thread deleted lol. I decided what I'm going to say to her in like 2nweeks of no contact

 

Why is there 'No Contact'? Has she started to ignore you.....or are you playing games with her?

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WellHelloThere Member

WellHelloThere

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If you want to hang out one on one, then make sure you make the plans the next couple times. Don't go more than 2 or 3 days without contacting her.

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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Why the dramatics? There's no need for no contact. She seems interested and aside from the fact that your third meeting didn't go as you planned, keep communication going. There's still lots more time to plan 1-1s. Don't play games.

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Can this thread deleted lol. I decided what I'm going to say to her in like 2nweeks of no contact

 

If you don't want to continue to date this woman you don't have to but running off & hiding, or punishing her or whatever you think you are doing with NC will destroy any chance you have. Disappearing is lame / immature. Don't do it.

 

 

So you were disappointed. You wanted to cuddle but the friends were there. Boo hoo. Life is full of disappoints but on any scale this one was minor at best. You still could have put your arm around her, sat close, shared a blanket but you chose not to. That's on you.

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Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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Why the dramatics? There's no need for no contact. She seems interested and aside from the fact that your third meeting didn't go as you planned, keep communication going. There's still lots more time to plan 1-1s. Don't play games.

 

ohmygosh, don't send that text, either now or in two weeks. yes way dramatic!! especially coming from a guy, no bueno!! You did it. It's over. The confident, cool thing to do is accept that it was that way and see the positives (such as maybe she was excited to show you off to her gfs) and keep moving forward confidently IF you like her. If you realized that her vibe isn't your vibe from this meetup, then reconsider dating her or gather more info next time to help you make a decision. But the text, no, I would think a guy who would send a text like that is being a baby and it would be a turnoff. Good luck.

 

No contact with her for two weeks is also dumb AF @!::! why? for what? That is stupid.

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ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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Why are you going No Contact at all?

 

Sorry OP, but I think you need to grow up.

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