mortensorchid Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 I know I am hardly the first to ever post on this, but a friend said to me that he doesn't understand how why I have such bad luck with men. I am 41 years old, never been married, no kids, and I keep getting thrown over. I hate to boast but I have a good body compared to a lot of gals, I don't show it off much depending on the weather or other factors, I keep it classy not trashy. In my history I have tried to go for those who are not Bad Boys (but of course a few have come into the fold), I don't waste time with time wasters, I try to be friendly and open to many, I've done internet dating and whatever else. I meet men who either aren't interested or don't deserve me and end up going for someone who will submit to them or who are lesser than they are in terms of looks, personality, success, etc. Because that's what they really want, I have determined. Someone said to me "You're fishing in the wrong pond." Some have said move to another city, I say I am past that thinking. I've dated guys in other cities, same reaction. And I don't want to be that person who ends up moving to another city thinking this is going to be happiness when it ends up being even worse than it was. I am putting this out as an experiment to suggest avenues and to have reaction. I promise it will not be negative ones, I will just share experiences.
d0nnivain Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Are you sure they were recommending to move? You are likely to find different kinds of men at nightclubs, church, work, playing sports, and volunteering. Yes there can & will be cross over; one doesn't preclude the other. But that may be what they meant about pond.
todreaminblue Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 (edited) my sis is the same ...exactly the same age.....she4 had a fiancee who died then she met a man she spent fifteen years with ...off and on...he promised to marry her and my sis wanted children he turns arouND one day and said he only said that he wanted kids and would marry her so he could live with her..that he didnt want children and he didnt intend to marry her...then she booted him....she has not had children and that is something she wanted more than anything else...was marriage and children.. i dont know if it is fishing in the wrong pond...or loving unavailable men..either emotionally unavailable........or physically...i think it just comes to ....the right person hasnt shown up yet for my sis ...or for you.....and that when its meant to happen it will be a surprise...a wonderful one ...a man full of the hope and dreams you have unfulfilled...my sis says i should stick to writing poetry...so in that vein fo thought dont give up......thats all i have to say... the right man at exactly the right time is going to come your way a man who hopes for you every single day, dont stop dreaming for he is out there somewhere....deb... Edited May 7, 2016 by todreaminblue
Shanex Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 There doesnt seem to be anything wrong with you as Im reading this post... However Im one who think that this "abandon your town for such and such city" is bullcrap... You are who you are and cant escape yourself. You are an individual with qualities and flaws. Moving out wont change that. 2
Jabron1 Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Has every experience really been bad? I just can't imagine that. I know the modern dating scene can be tough, but if every experience is bad, you have to start looking inward in my opinion. 3
basil67 Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 When you talk about your qualities, the only thing you have to say for yourself is about your physical appearance. While your looks may give you an initial boost, they mean little in terms of a long term relationship. Regardign these guys who go for women who are 'lesser in terms of looks, personality etc'....have you ever considered that they don't think the woman is lesser? The women being 'lesser' is just a judgement call by you. What's this about men who don't deserve you? You're putting yourself on a fairly high pedestal there. Perhaps a more modest 'we weren't compatible' would reflect better? I suggest you get off your high horse and stop being so judgmental about the women men choose. Perhaps you can learn something from them. Like a bit of humility. 2
HillValley Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 When you talk about your qualities, the only thing you have to say for yourself is about your physical appearance. While your looks may give you an initial boost, they mean little in terms of a long term relationship. Regardign these guys who go for women who are 'lesser in terms of looks, personality etc'....have you ever considered that they don't think the woman is lesser? The women being 'lesser' is just a judgement call by you. What's this about men who don't deserve you? You're putting yourself on a fairly high pedestal there. Perhaps a more modest 'we weren't compatible' would reflect better? I suggest you get off your high horse and stop being so judgmental about the women men choose. Perhaps you can learn something from them. Like a bit of humility. Reminds me of that saying, " everyone is the hero of their own story." It's hard to see our own faults sometimes cause then we'd have to cast ourselves as the villain of the story. 1
truth_seeker Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 (edited) Has every experience really been bad? I just can't imagine that. I know the modern dating scene can be tough, but if every experience is bad, you have to start looking inward in my opinion. I have to agree with Jabron. I'm not far from 41 and I've never been married or have any kids. Part of the reason I'm single is because of me. I don't chase women. I'm stubborn. I'm picky. I won't settle for anyone who gives me a bad feeling in my gut. I won't settle for a nice woman who doesn't excite me. This limits my options. I can admit I have my faults and need to work on them. OP, from your threads it seems you keep putting blame on the men. I can't believe every man you meet is bad. I think you probably meet some good men but they don't excite you enough... you meet bad boys, get excited but they're jerks and it doesn't work out. Believe me: I've fallen for some bad girls because of their looks and all it did was give me migraines and heartache. Why don't you abstain from men for awhile. Do yoga, meditating, see a therapist, just focus on you and make yourself a better person... I bet the results will be the right man for you will suddenly walk into your life. Edited May 8, 2016 by truth_seeker
truth_seeker Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 OP - I have to tell you, you may have a rockin' body and a beautiful face... but if your personality sucks, guys will label you as pump and dump material. 2
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