Saying "nice guys" are manipulative for not being honest is such a cop out...

May 7, 2016

Are we really going to pretend that women have never said......"I wish a guy would get to know me. Let's be friends first. Let's take it slow. I wish guys would take time to talk to me instead of trying to get into my pants."

Are we going to pretend that women have never said **** like this before only to call the guys who do this manipulative and deceitful.

Guys only try the "friend" approach because that's what women have said to have wanted.

Basically, no matter what men do women will complain. If guys are aggressive and forward, women take offense, complain guys just want sex or to get in their pants, etc. That guys only want one thing. If guys try to take it slow, proceed with caution, they're friendzoned, rejected and accused of being manipulative. Accused of using friendship to get close.

It's baloney. No matter what men do there's a problem.

Edited May 7, 2016 by Maalik

May 7, 2016

Are we really going to pretend that women have never said......"I wish a guy would get to know me. Let's be friends first. Let's take it slow. I wish guys would take time to talk to me instead of trying to get into my pants."

Are we going to pretend that women have never said **** like this before only to call the guys who do this manipulative and deceitful.

Guys only try the "friend" approach because that's what women have said to have wanted.

Basically, no matter what men do women will complain. If guys are aggressive and forward, women take offense, complain guys just want sex or to get in their pants, etc. That guys only want one thing. If guys try to take it slow, proceed with caution, they're friendzoned, rejected and accused of being manipulative. Accused of using friendship to get close.

So you took a vow of celibacy, right?

May 7, 2016

I know i have issues now in my current relationship,

But when i met my current GF, i took it slow, and she said that was the thing why she fell for me. Because i wanted something else than just sex.

May 7, 2016

I know i have issues now in my current relationship,

But when i met my current GF, i took it slow, and she said that was the thing why she fell for me. Because i wanted something else than just sex.

That's what a lot of girls claim to want. Which is why idiot guys do it. We're simple creatures. There's this new thing now where girls call guys who do this "manipulative". That they're faking friendship for sex. Are we supposed to completely forgo everything and ask for sex first instead? Eventhough youll complain later that guys just want to use you for sex? Which is it? Does their mind change everyday on a whim or what?

May 7, 2016

I suspect you had one or two bad experiences and are using them to generalize about all women, which is immature to say the least.

Maybe, wonder of wonders, a woman wants to feel a spark with the guy she's out with, and the sexual stuff will follow at its own speed. Straight-up: I slept with my boyfriend on our first date. Wasn't expecting to, it just happened. We're still nuts about each other. With past exes, it happened more progressively, after a period of weeks or months. I don't have a rulebook for these kinds of things; they happen when they happen.

Why not focus on enjoying a woman's company, first and foremost, instead of calculating the most efficient means of getting into her pants?

May 7, 2016

Well, at least you haven't let it affect your optimism.

May 7, 2016

Well there are 3.5 billion women on planet Earth, so yeah, I'd like to see a bigger sample size. You know how many unsuccessful dates I've been on? A lot. You know how many times I've got on an internet forum and ranted about how awful men are? Zero.

That said, given how charming you two are, I'm truly astounded there aren't women lining up around the block to throw themselves at you.

Also, if the next 100 women reject him, he may want to look at the common denominator in those equations. Given his attitude in these posts, I'm not at all surprised he hasn't gotten he response he wants.

So does any woman actually intend on explaining why women give mixed messages or is it simply easier to insult anyone who dares to ask?

There's seriously like 1,000 threads on here bashing "nice guys" as "Nice Guys", manipulative, cowards, pushovers, weak, etc. Its funny. I doubt I'll get an explanation. Today, it's guys need to be more friendly, get to know women as people instead of sexual objects, DONT OBJECTIFY US! Tomorrow, it's those guys are weak, not dominant, pushovers, not aggressive. Next week, it's back to guys only want sex and don't care about us as people again. Give me a break.

May 7, 2016

So does any woman actually intend on explaining why women give mixed messages or is it simply easier to insult anyone who dares to ask?

There's seriously like 1,000 threads on here bashing "nice guys" as "Nice Guys", manipulative, cowards, pushovers, weak, etc. Its funny. I doubt I'll get an explanation. Today, it's guys need to be more friendly, get to know women as people instead of sexual objects, DONT OBJECTIFY US! Tomorrow, it's those guys are weak, not dominant, pushovers, not aggressive. Next week, it's back to guys only want sex and don't care about us as people again. Give me a break.

You really don't get it, do you? There are 3.5 billion women on this earth. No, I am not going to speak for them all. Some women are not nice people. As you demonstrate, some men are not, either. I only speak, and am responsible, for myself.

Truly nice guys realize that they can go on a date with a perfectly nice woman, and there may not (probably won't be) a spark, and they're okay with that. I know a lot of nice guys. The only one I want to fall into bed with is my boyfriend. If love and chemistry were easy to find, we wouldn't spend millions of dollars on books and websites and reality TV competitions devoted to it. A woman looking for a serious relationship isn't just going to open her legs for you because you smile and nod vacantly at her stories for a couple hours.

You clearly just want sex and not a relationship, given that your post is all about trying to find the "personality" that will get you laid most quickly. That's fine, there are many women out there who want the same. I would recommend you seek them out.

May 7, 2016

So does any woman actually intend on explaining why women give mixed messages or is it simply easier to insult anyone who dares to ask?

There's seriously like 1,000 threads on here bashing "nice guys" as "Nice Guys", manipulative, cowards, pushovers, weak, etc. Its funny. I doubt I'll get an explanation. Today, it's guys need to be more friendly, get to know women as people instead of sexual objects, DONT OBJECTIFY US! Tomorrow, it's those guys are weak, not dominant, pushovers, not aggressive. Next week, it's back to guys only want sex and don't care about us as people again. Give me a break.

Such threads exist because most "nice" guys AREN'T nice. They just think they are, but their actions and behaviors are almost entirely fueled by the hopes that buying a girl dinner will curry favor with her and he'll get laid. Then if he doesn't, well, the girl just led him on and suddenly "all" women want jerks and none of them want nice guys.

So be open here. What personal experience are you basing this on? You got rebuffed by the co-worker a few months ago. What poor experiences in this area have you personally experienced since then?

May 7, 2016

When a girl says she wants to take it slow, that usually means a few dates, not two years, and usually doesn't mean there's a moratorium on kissing. Most of the guys on here stuck in a friendzone have been misrepresenting themselves for months and years because they know if they confess, that's likely the last they'll see of her because it will be too awkward. There's no climbing out of that.

If woman doesn't let you even kiss her by the third date, she really isn't attracted to you. Girls love to kiss. They just don't like guys only coming at them for sex if they want something more serious.

Edited May 7, 2016 by preraph

May 7, 2016

So does any woman actually intend on explaining why women give mixed messages or is it simply easier to insult anyone who dares to ask?

There's seriously like 1,000 threads on here bashing "nice guys" as "Nice Guys", manipulative, cowards, pushovers, weak, etc. Its funny. I doubt I'll get an explanation. Today, it's guys need to be more friendly, get to know women as people instead of sexual objects, DONT OBJECTIFY US! Tomorrow, it's those guys are weak, not dominant, pushovers, not aggressive. Next week, it's back to guys only want sex and don't care about us as people again. Give me a break.

There's no mixed message there. If a woman is at least a little attracted to you, she will let you kiss her within a few dates. If she's not, she won't, and unless all you want is a possible friend, you are wasting your time. You act as if the only options are have sex or don't have sex. A woman who's attracted will kiss even if she's not sure enough about you and who you are to have sex with you. Someone saying they don't want to be used and discarded or that they like to take it slow will still take the first step of kissing. If they won't kiss you, they are not attracted to you and you can't make them be.

May 7, 2016

Are we really going to pretend that women have never said......"I wish a guy would get to know me. Let's be friends first. Let's take it slow. I wish guys would take time to talk to me instead of trying to get into my pants."

Are we going to pretend that women have never said **** like this before only to call the guys who do this manipulative and deceitful.

Guys only try the "friend" approach because that's what women have said to have wanted.

Basically, no matter what men do women will complain. If guys are aggressive and forward, women take offense, complain guys just want sex or to get in their pants, etc. That guys only want one thing. If guys try to take it slow, proceed with caution, they're friendzoned, rejected and accused of being manipulative. Accused of using friendship to get close.

It's baloney. No matter what men do there's a problem.

Newsflash Maalik. Women are people with individual preferences. INDIVIDUAL.

Some women like alpha males. Some women prefer smart nerdy guys. Some women like big and stocky. Other women prefer slender.

Same goes for men. My friend likes slender Asian brunettes. I get the appeal but that type does nothing for me. I like the curvy girl-next-door type. My friend and I are both men but we aren't physically attracted to the same women. How about that? Keeps coming back to that one word: INDIVIDUAL.

Similar goes for dating styles. Some prefer to take it slower. Others want you to claim them right away. Yes, if you try the same thing with EACH woman, no matter what it is, some women will complain, because women don't all like the same thing.

May 7, 2016

It's baloney. No matter what men do there's a problem.

Congratulations on effectively absolving yourself of all responsibility for your outcomes. Now you can freely go about life complaining that the world is up against you.

May 7, 2016

You really don't get it, do you? There are 3.5 billion women on this earth. No, I am not going to speak for them all. Some women are not nice people. As you demonstrate, some men are not, either. I only speak, and am responsible, for myself.

Truly nice guys realize that they can go on a date with a perfectly nice woman, and there may not (probably won't be) a spark, and they're okay with that. I know a lot of nice guys. The only one I want to fall into bed with is my boyfriend. If love and chemistry were easy to find, we wouldn't spend millions of dollars on books and websites and reality TV competitions devoted to it. A woman looking for a serious relationship isn't just going to open her legs for you because you smile and nod vacantly at her stories for a couple hours.

You clearly just want sex and not a relationship, given that your post is all about trying to find the "personality" that will get you laid most quickly. That's fine, there are many women out there who want the same. I would recommend you seek them out.

Yea, okay. Keep being presumptuous. Its cute. If I only wanted sex, I wouldn't have wasted my time trying to be kind. It's a horrible strategy for getting laid. If that's all I wanted, I would call up some of these girls that I don't like who are interested me and have sex with them. I would hire hookers. I would've stayed with my exes longer instead of leaving them for whatever reason so I could keep a uninterrupted stream line of hot sex.

But I haven't.

Nice try though.

Sorry I'm not that innocent dumbass I was. Life tends to beat that out of you. I'm sure if 15 guys had sex with you and never called back, you wouldn't be such a sugar plum anymore, would you? Maybe you would, don't want to presume. Maybe I should just stop caring entirely. That's obviously what women respond to and being me is obviously not working.

May 7, 2016

being me is obviously not working.

You've got that right if you're anything like these posts.

May 7, 2016

But really, all hope is lost if you've already decided that you play no role in any of this and your destiny is already decided because "all" women think, act, and move like each other.

I'm sorry you've had some lousy experiences, but your doo-doo attitude isn't going to help the situation at all. You're immersing yourself in a vicious cycle, my man.

May 7, 2016

...Are we really going to pretend that women have never said......"I wish a guy would get to know me. Let's be friends first. Let's take it slow. I wish guys would take time to talk to me instead of trying to get into my pants."

I - a woman - have never said this. The women I know (either family members of friends) have never said this.

As a woman, I have plenty of friends; if I ever *need* another friend, I'll *make* one.

When I am dating, I am not looking for friendship; quite the opposite, actually. I am looking for a romantic coupling - which will include sexual attraction, sexual overtures, and sex.

This [probably] does not mean we'll be having sex as soon as the initial meet-and-greet pleasantries have been exchanged, but it sure the hell means if I'm agreeing to a 1st/2nd/3rd+ date, [the possibility] of sex is on the table. Since it's frowned upon in most establishments, more likely it'll be happening at his place or mine...sooner rather than later.

All of the women I know in real life, feel similarly, so I'd suggest you - and the other men who feel similarly - try a different type of woman. My ilk discusses this all the time at our weekly *feminist* get-togethers, where we wonder where the men who are also normal, healthy, well-adjusted adults are hiding.

May 7, 2016

Such threads exist because most "nice" guys AREN'T nice. They just think they are, but their actions and behaviors are almost entirely fueled by the hopes that buying a girl dinner will curry favor with her and he'll get laid. Then if he doesn't, well, the girl just led him on and suddenly "all" women want jerks and none of them want nice guys.

So be open here. What personal experience are you basing this on? You got rebuffed by the co-worker a few months ago. What poor experiences in this area have you personally experienced since then?

If we're manipulative, then women are hypocritical. That's what you CLAIM to want. Guys who take it slow, get to know you, build a friendship first. Women say they want this out of their own mouths only to turn around and call it manipulative. Seems like women are the manipulative ones here. At least men say what they want. You don't need a dictionary to decode what we mean when we open our mouths.

And my coworker was a piece of work. Crazy ass broad. It's funny how after she left, its so apparent how normal the other girls are compared to her. No crazy chicks hanging all over me, rejecting me, getting mad when I left her alone then hanging all over me again like she didn't tell me to kick rocks. Thank god that's done. She was a blip in my experience with chicks. Ive been in enough relationships to have an opinion. Then there's my friends, relatives and male coworkers' relationships too. They all say similar things. Not in front of women, of course.

Edited May 7, 2016 by Maalik

May 7, 2016

For the record OP, Blanco is a man..

May 7, 2016

Congratulations on effectively absolving yourself of all responsibility for your outcomes. Now you can freely go about life complaining that the world is up against you.

Says the guy absolving women of any responsibility. They're always right. We're always wrong

May 7, 2016

You're being kind because you think it will get you laid. Women can tell the difference between that and a guy who is genuinely kind.

Even if you were genuinely kind, that doesn't obligate a woman to sleep with you. The fact that you seem to be operating on that premise is how I know you're not a nice guy.

And FWIW, I have been ghosted. Still didn't post vitriolic Internet screeds about the incidents.

May 7, 2016

For the record, I have never told a guy I want to be friends first as a prelude to romance OR that I wanted to take it slow. If I would say I only wanted to be friends or that I didn't want to kiss or sleep with a guy, that would mean EVER.

May 7, 2016

I love the way you're chosen to completely gloss over me saying that even if someone wants to take it slow, it doesn't mean they won't even kiss. If they have any attraction for you, they will at least kiss. If they won't kiss shortly after you have gone out with them, they are not attracted to you.

And you can find any kind of article you want to find on the internet. It still doesn't mean there's women out there who won't at least kiss you after a handful of dates if they have any attraction to you at all. "Taking it slow" doesn't mean "Even though I am physically attracted to him, I hope he doesn't ever try to kiss me." I think you are misinterpreting those silly articles. It doesn't give you a pass to just sit on your heels and do nothing in hopes the woman will flip a switch some day and jump on you! Even in Victorian times, women kissed if they had any attraction.

May 7, 2016

Just be you and things should fall into place. If you try to follow the mixed messages we get from society you won't know whether you are coming or going. I stopped doing and good things happened.

May 7, 2016

Are we really going to pretend that women have never said......"I wish a guy would get to know me. Let's be friends first. Let's take it slow. I wish guys would take time to talk to me instead of trying to get into my pants."

Are we going to pretend that women have never said **** like this before only to call the guys who do this manipulative and deceitful.

Guys only try the "friend" approach because that's what women have said to have wanted.

Basically, no matter what men do women will complain. If guys are aggressive and forward, women take offense, complain guys just want sex or to get in their pants, etc. That guys only want one thing. If guys try to take it slow, proceed with caution, they're friendzoned, rejected and accused of being manipulative. Accused of using friendship to get close.

100% correct.

It's baloney. No matter what men do there's a problem.

Then shrug your shoulders at the absurdity of it all, and just do whatever the f*ck you want.

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Saying "nice guys" are manipulative for not being honest is such a cop out...

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