WoodyWood Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 I've not really had a boyfriend since my bipolar passive-aggressive uni boyfriend so last year I thought I'd try online dating. I found a guy I thought was kinda cute and he was funny and really nice to me and he makes me really happy. Every time we tried to meet up though he kept starting arguments and making me nervous. He could be a bit hot headed at times but I don't think he's like that. It's been about 5 months now and we haven't met. We've spoken over whatsapp voice notes but not had a proper call or videos. I know he's real though cos he showed me his driving licence pic. Recently though things have changed. I used to get really happy whenever he'd talk but then I just knew if we tried to make plans he'd just start an argument and I'd be disappointed. I'd make plans on days where he had made date plans because I knew he wasn't gonna show up. And then he started lying to me. It's not even about big things though. Like, he'd tell me he's gonna do something like go to the gym and then it's obvious he didn't do it. It's almost like he's lying to make himself look better. But I can see through the bull****. He doesn't think I can but I can and it hurts. I told him it hurts too. He lives about 100 miles away but still in the same area. Then about a month ago I started working with this new guy. We do most of the same work together and he's great! We get on really well and we agree on almost everything and he makes me laugh so hard I could cry. I told him I like him and he says he likes me too. But he's kinda seeing someone else and he doesn't want to hurt her. I really like him and I wanna be with him and I think he wants to be with me too. Being around the new guy really makes me realise that even though the guy I'm with makes me really happy, he's not the one. I've never been around someone who makes me feel the way the new guy does, I've never just clicked with someone before the way me and him do, and he's literally my ideal guy... the only problem is, he's seeing someone else and I don't know what to do.
deadparrot Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 100 miles is not that far away. If Guy #1 really wanted to meet you that badly, it would have happened by now. That one isn't going anywhere. Re: Guy #2, I don't know what "kinda seeing someone" entails, but regardless, he needs to end it with he before he starts anything up with you. If he refuses to do that, you need to walk away from him, too.
Author WoodyWood Posted May 7, 2016 Author Posted May 7, 2016 100 miles is not that far away. If Guy #1 really wanted to meet you that badly, it would have happened by now. That one isn't going anywhere. Re: Guy #2, I don't know what "kinda seeing someone" entails, but regardless, he needs to end it with he before he starts anything up with you. If he refuses to do that, you need to walk away from him, too. If I'm completely honest, guy #1 hasn't been the only problem with making plans, I've always been a little nervous to make plans with someone I've never met Guy #2 is currently dating the girl. But he says he wants to be with me so I don't know what's going to happen there It's just that, guy #1 makes me feel happy in a constant way and I know he's always there if I need him - but he's miles and miles away. But guy #2 is everything I'd look for in a partner
deadparrot Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 I find it weird you haven't been able to video chat with Guy #1 in this day and age. It makes me suspect he's hiding something. And again, if he was really eager to meet in person, I feel like he would have at least broached the subject at some point in the last 5 months. That said, if you want to, propose a meeting; I'd be curious to see what his reaction is. Guy #2, if he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you. Stringing a girl along while he has feelings for someone else is infinitely more cruel than ending things and letting her find someone who loves her.
Author WoodyWood Posted May 7, 2016 Author Posted May 7, 2016 I find it weird you haven't been able to video chat with Guy #1 in this day and age. It makes me suspect he's hiding something. And again, if he was really eager to meet in person, I feel like he would have at least broached the subject at some point in the last 5 months. That said, if you want to, propose a meeting; I'd be curious to see what his reaction is. Guy #2, if he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you. Stringing a girl along while he has feelings for someone else is infinitely more cruel than ending things and letting her find someone who loves her. To be honest I've never asked Guy #1. We're both in our early 20s and both living at home (different homes) and he has a lot of people there all the time, it'd be pretty impossible for him to have any privacy. I don't think he's hiding anything... it's just, I can't take anything he says seriously because he lies over little things and I don't know why. Why would he do that? As for Guy #2, I think he genuinely does like me as much as I like him. I'm just wondering about the whole work aspect of it though... I know me and him would work because we get on so well, but idk, he's into the girl he's seeing too...
deadparrot Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 I mean, I'm wondering why he hasn't asked you, either. There are plenty of places he could go to be alone, even if it's just hanging out at a park or a friend's house. And the lying is also a red flag. I don't know, the whole relationship just sounds like it's dead-ended and will remain so until/unless you meet face to face. If you want to propose such a thing, you should, because I don't think he'll ask himself. The other guy...he may have feelings for two women, but he's chosen to go the monogamous relationship route with one, so it's really not cool of him to be intimating feelings for you. I wouldn't proceed unless/until he breaks things off with her.
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