colouroflove Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Just wanted to get an idea as to whether or not I'm being overly sensitive or not. Me and my daughter recently met another mom and her daughter at the park. The girls seemed to play with one another well, however the other little girl consistently get's upset that my daughter won't play specifically with her the whole time at the park. My daughter loves to play with everyone! The little girl consistently comes to the mother to complain about how my daughter must not like her, or is being rude...it's a little annoying, but I just tell her that my little one likes to include everyone. Getting to the point of this post: We were invited, me and my 3 year old, to go to this little girls karate testing and award night, where they get the next level/color. I figured it would be fun and a great way for the girls to continue to bond. I am 6 months pregnant and was not aware the karate place was located in the downtown area of a pretty rough neighborhood and the parking lot only housed 1/3 of the actual clientele that was there that night. The mother didn't tell me any details, which really bothered me when we were forced to park a couple of blocks away near an abandoned store and parking lot. We arrived late, because of the parking issue and I mentioned we had to park pretty far away. Her husband was there along with his grandaughter and the entire time they kept telling the kids to be quiet and sit. I was pretty annoyed at this because it's not easy for children of that age to sit quietly for such a long time. After coming back from the restroom, my friends husband was informing me he was going to take my daughter to the place his teenage daughter had taken his granddaughter to, while walking out the door. I told him "No she won't be going anywhere, she'll be staying right here." He seemed upset at this, not that I care, because it was already after dark and I was not about to let my child be downtown in an area with very high crime rate with a 16 year old girl I just met. We ended up spending two hours watching this ceremony and it was 9pm by the time everything was over. We had brought her friend a gift to congratulate her on making yellow belt. After waiting this long, the mother has already all her bags packed and is ready to leave. We had 1 minute with the little girl, my daughter gave her a hug and we watched her open in and then the mother was rushing out of the door and left before we had even a chance to get our things. I got down two blocks before asking this young man to walk the last block because I was really scared about going down this dark street. Needless to say, I feel like I don't want to get together with these people again. They didn't offer to walk us to our car or even drive us down the 3 blocks at 9 at night. I find this extremely rude. I don't think I could ever let a pregnant friend and her 3 year old walk alone, downtown, especially in such a high crime area. Am I being too sensitive about this?
salparadise Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 No, I don't think so. I think these folks just don't get it. When you said this man was trying to separate you... take your daughter away from your proximity, I was thinking alarm bells should've been going off. They have no boundaries and don't see both sides of the equation. You'll have to decide if you want to have a limited relationship to allow the girls to be playground buddies, but I'd say that may be more trouble than it's worth. People without boundaries tend to be persistent and difficult to manage. 1
preraph Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 They really don't have a grip on reality if they think that you're going to let a man you just met take your daughter off without you. Good for you for saying no. As for the behavior stuff, different parenting styles. I do think kids should be taught to behave in public and that while toddlers are the absolute hardest ones to control because of their energy, that is exactly the age to start training them about it because you can still control them physically at that age and now they can understand you. If you wait much longer, it may be too late. I know by 4, I was very well contained and had self-control (except one time when I lost my bear!!). 3 year olds are plenty old enough to know how to control and manipulate you, so you better start expecting more or her. This friendship isn't a good match. The girl is possessive and your daughter is more social. The parents didn't consider much when they sent you to a kind of scary area, and the man should have known not to try to run off with your child on first or even sixth meeting. You can never tell even after you think you know someone if they could have a dark side. Approximately 85 percent of molestations happen with people you or your kid know and think you can trust, nearly all male. 1
Author colouroflove Posted May 11, 2016 Author Posted May 11, 2016 Yeah when I told my husband, he said I needed to end contact. Thanks for the advice!
Author colouroflove Posted May 11, 2016 Author Posted May 11, 2016 Yes my mother said the same thing about being too lenient! Thanks for the advice.
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