seyah92 Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Hello, i am a 24yr old male who had broken up with my 20yr old exgf. She had just started college while i had finished about a year ago and am currently pursuing a career in science. Since my career is so demanding i was not able to be around my exgf everyday and that is the reason she gave me for why she cheated on me. At first she said the she "couldnt remember the last time she felt a man's touch". So one night at party she decided to give another guy a blowjob, which eventually caused her to catch a VD. After hearing about that, me believing that i was in love, decided to stay with her and take some time off and be with her more. About two weeks after i started back at work she kept hanging out with the guy and eventually slept with him. She told me as soon as it happened and claimed she still loved me and wanted to be with. I turned her down, but tried being her friend because i was involved with her deeply and her family. Although over the course of the next month i had to constantly hear everything about the new guy from how crappy he is, to how great he is in bed and how happy they were. Feeling heartbroken i would sometimes go days with ignoring her and then coming back and trying to be cordial. This made her erratic and she eventually said she never loved me, im a coward and that she's glad she cheated. I immediately initiated NC and for the first three days she called and sent messages saying that we should just be "professional" friends and that im being immature. After ignoring those messages she hasnt said anything else and its been 3 weeks. So am i to partially blame for her actions and also why is she playing this yo-yo routine if shes with a boyfriend that she claims to love some days and "is only good for sex" the others? Thank you everyone
todreaminblue Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 you are not to blame for her actions...if you stay though, to be a whipping post for her ...that is your choice ..she doesnt love the guy she is with nor does she love you.......leave her be..show her your maturity and walk away with your head up..........deb 2
LD1990 Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 You're not to blame for her cheating. There's never an excuse for cheating - if someone's unhappy, they can leave the damn relationship instead of cheating and then trying to blame their partner for their lack of self-control. You are to blame for putting up with this. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. She gave another guy a blowjob, you took her back. That was a huge screw up on your part. She then banged that guy and you decided that you and she could still be friends!? Who the hell cares how well you know her and her family, come on man. Stay NC, block her number, block her on everything, she's playing these games because she's trashy and enjoys having multiple men that want her. 3
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Read the NC Guide in my signature. Is all I need to say.
Larryville Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 So am i to partially blame for her actions WTF!? Y'all folks who start these threads with similar situations do realize that the crazy chicks or jacked up dudes are not the issue, YOU ARE! Is there something missing in your lives that allow you to tolerate people treating you like crap and it seems normal to you? Screwed up enough to actually blame yourselves for other idiot human actions. Just astonishing to me.
Buddhist Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Yeah the only thing you need to know here is...... She has no business pulling the maturity card. And you should probably tell her so. Mature people don't give other guys blowjobs because they feel neglected by their boyfriends, they definitely don't jump into bed with them and then insist the guy they leave behind be a friend about it. She's done absolutely nothing to warrant friendship here. She's behaving like a toddler, give her the attention she deserves. None. You'll be better off for it. 2
smudge21 Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Her cheating was her choice. She's an adult. Accept responsibility. Do not blame yourself for her actions. Okay, you had some relationship issues, but nothing that couldn't have been solved had she truly loved you. She clearly didn't. I would guess she used your work as an excuse, to put the blame your way and absolve her of any. She cheated.. and kept cheating.. always remember that when you think of her. Now as LD said, you did take her back then agree to be her "friend". Shame on you, but there's many of us will hang on to an ex as we feel it's better to still be in their lives than not at all. Your story is a lesson to many on here who think it's okay to remain friends with a dumper. You basically gave her a cake and watched her eat it, then cleaned up after her. The moment you did that, you lost all respect she had left for you (although I doubt it was much as she'd already been with another guy before then). Always stand your ground and never be afraid to speak your mind when you've been hurt or betrayed. As much as we think it may lose us someone from our lives, in reality by that time they're already pretty much gone so all we have left is to go out with some pride. Walk away from this one. No words, no emails or texts, nothing. Just leave her to her cheating disrespectful ways and go find someone who treats you in the same way you treat them. 3
sowhynot Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 (edited) Somewhat crude, but a good friend commented on someone in a vaguely similar situation that 'every time he kisses her, he's tasting someone else's c0ck'. Keep this thought in mind while you're running away from her as fast as you can. Edited May 8, 2016 by sowhynot spelling.... 1
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