ladyluck777 Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 It seems that getting married distanced us. The past 3 years we have become strangers. We work the same time, sleep the same hours, and all of the hours in between, he is gone. We split bills at home. He does not want kids so we don't have any. I don't know where he goes or what he does, other than when he working. He wears nice clothes and expensive cologne sometimes, but not for me. He texts with someone constantly at night before bed. We don't sleep together or have sex. If he goes somewhere I am not invited to come along. We go to family gatherings together for show. I was never able to get him to talk to me about it. I quit trying 2 years ago. I have said that we should divorce, he said that he does not want that and will refuse it. Why would he want to be married but live separate lives?
Marc878 Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Ultimatum time. Make a marriage or you file. He can't stop you. 3
BlueIris Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 It seems that getting married distanced us. The past 3 years we have become strangers. We work the same time, sleep the same hours, and all of the hours in between, he is gone. We split bills at home. He does not want kids so we don't have any. I don't know where he goes or what he does, other than when he working. He wears nice clothes and expensive cologne sometimes, but not for me. He texts with someone constantly at night before bed. We don't sleep together or have sex. If he goes somewhere I am not invited to come along. We go to family gatherings together for show. I was never able to get him to talk to me about it. I quit trying 2 years ago. I have said that we should divorce, he said that he does not want that and will refuse it. Why would he want to be married but live separate lives? It doesn't make sense. You could guess until you're blue in the face. "Refuse it?" That's laughable. Divorce him. If you live in the US, he has no power to stop you from divorcing him. Then find someone you enjoy and who enjoys you.
whichwayisup Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 It seems that getting married distanced us. The past 3 years we have become strangers. We work the same time, sleep the same hours, and all of the hours in between, he is gone. We split bills at home. He does not want kids so we don't have any. I don't know where he goes or what he does, other than when he working. He wears nice clothes and expensive cologne sometimes, but not for me. He texts with someone constantly at night before bed. We don't sleep together or have sex. If he goes somewhere I am not invited to come along. We go to family gatherings together for show. I was never able to get him to talk to me about it. I quit trying 2 years ago. I have said that we should divorce, he said that he does not want that and will refuse it. Why would he want to be married but live separate lives? You can file for divorce, you don't need his permission to do so. Talk to a lawyer and serve him with papers. Your marriage sounds absolutely awful, no wonder you're miserable. It wasn't supposed to be this way and unfortunately your husband turned out to be a dud and isn't the one for you. Does he give you a reason as to why he won't agree to a divorce? 3
sandylee1 Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 It seems like a pointkess marriage and perhaps the split bills suit him ... hence he doesn't want a divorce. You don't need his consent for divorce... although it may take longer without his consent. Marriage isn't a prison sentence and you can escape. Forget what he wants ... all you need to do is say everything you've said in your post and say to him.. that as you're living as roomates .... you want to get a divorce. Everything seems to be how HE wants it. Find a man who wants kids if you really want them and put this marriage behind you. You deserve to be happy. 3
Author ladyluck777 Posted May 7, 2016 Author Posted May 7, 2016 Ultimatum time. Make a marriage or you file. He can't stop you. It doesn't make sense. You could guess until you're blue in the face. "Refuse it?" That's laughable. Divorce him. If you live in the US, he has no power to stop you from divorcing him. Then find someone you enjoy and who enjoys you. He said he wouldn't sign papers, so I thought I would just be out my time and money.
mikeylo Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 You are having an affair,right ? Why dont you just go and file for divorce yourself? 1
Author ladyluck777 Posted May 7, 2016 Author Posted May 7, 2016 Does he give you a reason as to why he won't agree to a divorce? Religion. He says God doesn't approve of that. I'm no expert on religion but I also thought there was something about being devoted to your marriage, which he never was. I may be wrong about that.
Author ladyluck777 Posted May 7, 2016 Author Posted May 7, 2016 (edited) You are having an affair,right ? Why dont you just go and file for divorce yourself? Refer to post above this one that you wrote. Edited May 7, 2016 by ladyluck777 appended wording.
mikeylo Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Get it. Tell him about your affair. That will give him the push to divorce you.You wont have to spend much as he will file etc. 1
Author ladyluck777 Posted May 7, 2016 Author Posted May 7, 2016 It seems like a pointkess marriage and perhaps the split bills suit him ... hence he doesn't want a divorce. You don't need his consent for divorce... although it may take longer without his consent. Marriage isn't a prison sentence and you can escape. Forget what he wants ... all you need to do is say everything you've said in your post and say to him.. that as you're living as roomates .... you want to get a divorce. Everything seems to be how HE wants it. Find a man who wants kids if you really want them and put this marriage behind you. You deserve to be happy. Everything is the way he wants it, that's my answer. I didn't think of it that way. I'm happy to know I don't HAVE to have his consent. He had me believing I did. 1
Author ladyluck777 Posted May 7, 2016 Author Posted May 7, 2016 Get it. Tell him about your affair. That will give him the push to divorce you.You wont have to spend much as he will file etc. I think he probably wouldn't care since he did it twice before. However I have seriously thought about it.
Arieswoman Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Lady luck Stop messing about and just file for divorce. 4
Author ladyluck777 Posted May 7, 2016 Author Posted May 7, 2016 Lady luck Stop messing about and just file for divorce. That's the best advice I have had all day! 3
Sickofmymarriage Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 I'm so salty, I wouldn't even show at the family gatherings.
oldshirt Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 See a divorce lawyer so he/she can inform you how divorces really work. If you really believe that someone can simply refuse a divorce, you are either terribly naive or are very misinformed. Get the facts and get educated on what your rights and responsibilities are and not what he is telling you. 2
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