sunshine2 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 (edited) Just thought I would throw this out there. I signed up for OLD again and have been getting some messages but nothing that I want to pursue just yet. But I was chatting with a guy and he only has one picture of him on his profile. That picture is of him sitting at a table kind of far away. Its hard to see exactly what he looks like. I asked him if he had any other pictures to share of him, and he said he didn't. He said thats the only picture he has. He said that we could talk on a webcam so I could see him. I thought that was odd. Why would someone not put up more pictures, but want to talk on a webcam instead. Its so easy to take a picture of yourself on you cell phone and post it. It sort of hit me strange so I told him that I didn't feel comfortable meeting over a webcam when we were just getting to know each other. He thought I was doubting him. This is the first time I had a guy ask me to meet on a webcam so soon after chatting on OLD. I can see a phone call or arranging for a date, but webcam? I know how to spot a spammer and I thought he might be one. Has anyone else experienced this? Edited May 6, 2016 by sunshine2
katiegrl Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Maybe he's camera shy? Why not meet him real quick for ice cream or coffee? People often don't look in real life like their photos anyway. 1
SwordofFlame Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Maybe he's camera shy? Why not meet him real quick for ice cream or coffee? People often don't look in real life like their photos anyway. Agreed. If you're interested and if it's convenient, meet him for a quick date.
blackcat777 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 I met a guy once... only because he recognized me... I couldn't recognize him because his one and only picture was a picture from ten years ago. Never know until you meet so might as well get it out of the way! OLD is such a mixed bag. You really. never. know.
Mrin Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Odd but another plausible explanation is that he doesn't want pics floating around of him. Especially in conjunction with a dating site.
mortensorchid Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 I do not trust this situation. If and when someone puts a questionable photo of themselves on dating websites, it means they do not want to be recognized. Why? It could be job related, it could be the fact that they are cheating on their spouse / bf/gf, or ... Has anyone (gay or not) seen a gay dating website or app? A lot of them blur their photo or hide their faces (ex. baseball cap) because they don't want to be recognized for said reasons and ... Others. This has happened to me before. I could have a perfectly suitable photo of myself (as in a head shot) on the website or app, and they ask to see another photo of me. They also will send photos of themselves (whether or not I ask them to) to my phone or email. I have gotten a shirtless photo and even a dick pic or two. If and when I get them, I never respond. A few years ago, some guy asked me to send another photo. I did not know at the time that was what this particular game was, and I texted him that this was not a good time right now because I was busy doing something. He badgered me for a few hours until finally I took one in the mirror of me (nothing provocative, just a headshot of me in the mirror). He texted back "Thanks." And ... Nothing after that. Until the next holiday weekend. He would call me every holiday weekend asking if I wanted to get together and leave a voice mail. Granted, this was WEEKS after our initial talking. I was not interested, I never returned his calls, but every holiday weekend he would call me for about six months. One day, on a holiday weekend, I picked up the phone and it was him. He said "Hi this is (name)." I said "I'm sorry, do I know you?" He said we had met on (website) a few months ago. I was thinking we should get together." I said "No thank you." And hung up. Be wary. You have to be of someone like this man you're talking about.
Lois_Griffin Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 He's being purposefully ambiguous because he's hiding something. Jesus, everyone has thousands of pictures of themselves in today's age with cell phone cameras and social media and everything else. I'd be willing to bet my right arm he's married or coupled up. 3
Zippy2000 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Think about it. Twenty years ago you had to point, and shoot a camera with the right shutter speed. Take all your pictures and take it to a photo store to get your pictures developed. Now in the days of Wi-fi and digital photography. A pic can be taken and uploaded within 5 minutes. In my opinion hes probably not confident of his looks. Thats why he has a picture of him far away. He could have put on weight, or the picture could of been taken years ago. He probably wants you on webcam as some men believe if someone gets to know you. They may like you for their personality than their looks so its possible that`s why he wants you on webcam. It all adds up to very suspicious behaviour and its like they have something to hide. I ve asked women for pictures before and they have always been forth coming. Only some decline by saying we should meet. When I do they are like 10-15 years older that their pics and nothing like the 1 pic they had on their profile. This is important why its more than important to have 2 or 3 pics on a dating profile. People interpret photos differently.
GR4 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 He's being purposefully ambiguous because he's hiding something. Jesus, everyone has thousands of pictures of themselves in today's age with cell phone cameras and social media and everything else. I'd be willing to bet my right arm he's married or coupled up. Not true. I have hardly any photos of myself and I mean hardly any. I know what I look like so why would I have photos of myself? I don't like having my photo taken, maybe this guy is the same?
Larryville Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 I do not trust this situation. If and when someone puts a questionable photo of themselves on dating websites, it means they do not want to be recognized. This is a red flag. Don't ignore it. Are y’all serious? See this is why people constantly get in trouble and why in just another thread folks was talking about OLD being filled with freaks, dead beats ax murderers ! This is why sometimes I think some of these threads are fake. I asked him if he had any other pictures to share of him, and he said he didn't. He said thats the only picture he has. Does that kinda make any sense to any of you? In an age of non-stop selfies, Instagram, 16mp cell phone cameras, Google pics.... That is one of the biggest red flags in OLD and y'all are having a discussion as to whether or not a dude who says he only has ONE PIC of himself is a problem!? This is as bad as a "he does not put smiley faces on the end of texts" discussions. 1
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Your good judgement is your best friend. If he is articulate, has a good profile, shows seriousness in his search then get on skype or get in a coffee shop. If he is not a top gentleman and he is feeding you some hard to believe stories about pictures, drop and move to next. Sometimes those are men up to no good but there will be more fishiness about them than just the fact they have only 1 picture. And I have met married men that had 2-3-4 pictures of them. You have to use your judgment. There are also those men who have pictures on but only when they are online. As soon as they log out they take their pictures down. Most of those were in relationships. That being said my boyfriend only had 1 picture up on his profile. It was not a good picture, he was far and looking on the ground. I asked for more pics and he said he didn't have any on his pc (insert explanation), that he had one on his phone he could text, which he did. That pic was so bad lol. Anyway he was a very articulate man, he offered me his # on our first conversation, we spoke on the phone, made arrangement to meet, and the rest is history that was almost 6 months ago. So NO not all men with only 1 picture are married and up to play you.
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 If I had a nickle for every man who messaged me, with pics or not, asking to Skype with them I'd be a VERY rich woman! My experience has been that most of these men really only want one thing. They often will tell you whatever they think you want to hear in an attempt to get you to lower your guard until it's too late so tread carefully. Of course, there are always exceptions and men with sh*tty pics or no pics at all may have very plausible reasons but there are just as many who have sketchy agendas, particularly if they're not in your city. Go with your gut. There is no harm in asking to know someone a bit better before jumping on cam and if he presses you then you know he's up to something shady. Good luck.
joseb Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Go with your gut. There is no harm in asking to know someone a bit better before jumping on cam and if he presses you then you know he's up to something shady. I thought he offered to use his webcam - that doesn't mean the OP needs to (or should) use hers.
smackie9 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 True story: A friend of mine went through this years ago. One photo of him sitting in a chair not smiling.....so you know where this is going lol. The guy had almost no teeth, and the ones he had were rotten. Anyways if it doesn't feel right, then it's not. You have better things to do than waste your time on someone who acts shady. 1
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 True story: A friend of mine went through this years ago. One photo of him sitting in a chair not smiling.....so you know where this is going lol. The guy had almost no teeth, and the ones he had were rotten. Anyways if it doesn't feel right, then it's not. You have better things to do than waste your time on someone who acts shady. And a few years ago I met this man that only had 1 picture, neck up, with sun glasses on, and his hand laying on his forehead. When I saw him in the parking lot my jaw was hanging open. He was one of the most jaw-dropping-gorgerous man I had ever met. I asked him why he was hiding his face like this on his picture and he said he wants to meet women interested in him, not for his conver-on-a-magazine face. He was not married, he did not have a gf, and he was not a creep. It can go both ways.
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 I thought he offered to use his webcam - that doesn't mean the OP needs to (or should) use hers. Sure. That's a perfectly good option but I still say tread carefully. No matter what way you slice and dice this, having ONLY ONE picture of yourself is odd, especially in this day and age. Many people might not post pics only for work reasons but will email pics if asked. This whole thing just feels like a cautionary tale waiting to happen if you ask me.
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Sure. That's a perfectly good option but I still say tread carefully. No matter what way you slice and dice this, having ONLY ONE picture of yourself is odd, especially in this day and age. Many people might not post pics only for work reasons but will email pics if asked. This whole thing just feels like a cautionary tale waiting to happen if you ask me. Depends how old you are Michelle. I was dating in my late 40s. Plenty of men my age are computer idiots. My boyfriend is 48 and doesn't even know how to take a picture with his own phone. I came across men, more than once, that their friends made their profile because they are completely computer illiterate so forget about asking them to 'attach and additional picture' on their profile.
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Depends how old you are Michelle. I was dating in my late 40s. Plenty of men my age are computer idiots. My boyfriend is 48 and doesn't even know how to take a picture with his own phone. I came across men, more than once, that their friends made their profile because they are completely computer illiterate so forget about asking them to 'attach and additional picture' on their profile. No I agree. No one disputes this. You can't paint every situation with the same brushstroke. All you can do is offer advice and words of caution based on past experiences. There are indeed legit reasons for some of this stuff but (again) there are just as many shady ones. It's just the nature of online and the anonymity it allows. To address your comment specifically, I've often found the men MY age were far more creepy than the younger ones. Not sure why. Yet another reason why I tend to date younger men. They're often more upfront, transparent and even engaging. C'est la vie.
katiegrl Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 (edited) No I agree. No one disputes this. You can't paint every situation with the same brushstroke. All you can do is offer advice and words of caution based on past experiences. There are indeed legit reasons for some of this stuff but (again) there are just as many shady ones. It's just the nature of online and the anonymity it allows. To address your comment specifically, I've often found the men MY age were far more creepy than the younger ones. Not sure why. **** ****Yet another reason why I tend to date younger men. They're often more upfront, transparent and even engaging. . *Transparent* being the operative word there. Scammers and/or men with hidden agendas can be extremely charming and engaging! More so than most in fact! Edited May 6, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Toodaloo Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 He's being purposefully ambiguous because he's hiding something. Jesus, everyone has thousands of pictures of themselves in today's age with cell phone cameras and social media and everything else. I'd be willing to bet my right arm he's married or coupled up. Erm no they don't. I have about 2 that are under a year old... actually no scrap that. Its now May so one of those is now over a year old. Sorry but way too busy living to worry about posting stuff all over the place and not one to join selfie hell thanks.
Author sunshine2 Posted May 6, 2016 Author Posted May 6, 2016 This is the first time a man has asked to go on webcam so soon. I haven't responded to him yet. I hate the way I look on a webcam so I would not want to do that unless I knew the person better. I am not sure what Im going to do. I feel he could be up to something or maybe not, but I prefer to meet. BTW, he has not talked about meeting me, but I did say I prefer meeting someone in person. OLD - is a trip I have another guy that messages me constantly. If he sees me online, he messages me. If I go off line he messages me. It would seem he doesn't work so I finally asked him if he works. He says he does. Its all a crap shoot at this point. I am getting more response then normal, so I guess thats a good thing.
Cinnamonstix Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 This is the first time a man has asked to go on webcam so soon. I haven't responded to him yet. I hate the way I look on a webcam so I would not want to do that unless I knew the person better. I am not sure what Im going to do. I feel he could be up to something or maybe not, but I prefer to meet. BTW, he has not talked about meeting me, but I did say I prefer meeting someone in person. OLD - is a trip I have another guy that messages me constantly. If he sees me online, he messages me. If I go off line he messages me. It would seem he doesn't work so I finally asked him if he works. He says he does. Its all a crap shoot at this point. I am getting more response then normal, so I guess thats a good thing. Here's my advice: don't try to figure out his motives. It's impossible to tell what they are based on what you've said. Instead, ask yourself if this is something you want to do. You don't sound comfortable web-camming with him. If it were me, it would also spell incompatibility as it's just not the way I would go about dating and meeting someone, nor is it what I'm looking for. I'd rather a guy had the confidence to just ask me to meet up rather than switch to another piece of technology. 2
Author sunshine2 Posted May 6, 2016 Author Posted May 6, 2016 Here's my advice: don't try to figure out his motives. It's impossible to tell what they are based on what you've said. Instead, ask yourself if this is something you want to do. You don't sound comfortable web-camming with him. If it were me, it would also spell incompatibility as it's just not the way I would go about dating and meeting someone, nor is it what I'm looking for. I'd rather a guy had the confidence to just ask me to meet up rather than switch to another piece of technology. This is absolutely correct. Thank you!
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