priaz Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 I befriended a cute guy at the gym that I initially developed feelings for. We've become really good friends and joke around a lot. On the week of Valentines day, I jokingly asked him if he had any plans with anyone special, and he said he's planning something for the girl he's dating (later becomes his gf). I was disappointed, but I got over it, so now we're just friends. However, i am now noticing a couple things that are odd. He doesn't talk about her much, only when I ask about her. From what he's told me, he has gotten in trouble with his girlfriend because he made a comment about her weight, wishes he could swap bodies with her because he's skinny, and she isn't as much. He says she wants to go back to school to become a PA. I have never seen pictures of the two of them, nor do I know her name. In addition, he's always talking to me about the cute girls at the gym, and I've been enabling him by not stopping him. The other day, he was telling me how one of my older friends is "really fine". His behavior is making me question whether or not he actually has a girlfriend. He has not mentioned her for a while now. I've introduced him to a lot of my friends at the gym. And now our mutual friends are making comments about the two of us, which is really annoying. They always ask me where he is if he doesn't come to the gym. One of our friends insists that he likes me, which i refuse to believe. Their rationale is that he's always glued to me, and we always leave the gym together. He takes all the classes that I take. He parks near me when he used to park somewhere else. He looks at me a certain way. I am a little confused. What's going on?
hippychick3 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 It shouldn't matter. Why would you want a guy who would behave that way when he's in a relationship? Is that how you would want your boyfriend to behave (flirting with others, not mentioning you, acting single at the gym)? Because if he does it with her, he will do it with you. And, if he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore, he is clearly NOT interested in you. Otherwise, he'd make it clear he was single. 2
MsJayne Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 If he was interested in you he; A) would tell you if he'd broken up with his girlfriend, B) wouldn't be making comments about other women in the gym, C) would probably ask you out. You want to find something in actions which mean nothing.
basil67 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Hippychick nailed it. Perhaps he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore. But if he was interested, he'd ask you out. And if he was interested, he certainly wouldn't be commenting on other girls at the gym. I think he sees you as 'one of the boys' - hence being so open about his thoughts on other girls. 1
Author priaz Posted May 6, 2016 Author Posted May 6, 2016 that's a big relief. I noticed his behavior as red flags so that makes him undateable in my book. But i was a little concerned that what my friend says is true. That would make our friendship a little awkward. I just wanted to confirm that my friends are wrong. Phew!
preraph Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 To me, it just sounds like gym gossip. We obviously know that he is capable of asking a woman out because he has done so. So there's no reason to think he's holding back.
katiegrl Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 that's a big relief. I noticed his behavior as red flags so that makes him undateable in my book. But i was a little concerned that what my friend says is true. That would make our friendship a little awkward. I just wanted to confirm that my friends are wrong. Phew! Why the phew? So you are relieved he has no romantic interest in you? And you have no interest in him other than friends? I got the impression from your post you kinda did but since he has (had) a gf, you settled for friends. 1
Author priaz Posted May 6, 2016 Author Posted May 6, 2016 you are right. i was interested but found out he had a girlfriend. I did settle on being friends. I no longer wish to pursue any other kind of relationship, especially after learning what kind of guy he is in relationships. But my friends think there's something going on, so it makes me wonder if it's really true.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 I have to echo the others. He may not still be dating this girl, but he's not romantically interested in you. He'd have made a move by now if he were.
mortensorchid Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 He told you he's attached and you're just a friend.
Zippy2000 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 If parking close to someone in a car park is a since of romance. I wonder what it means when you back in and out of someones garage! haha He is with someone and the fact he doesnt talk about her doesnt mean she does not exist. Im a private person and I dont go around talking anyone clsoe to me or members of my family, and yes. My family does exist. I just dont want to talk to "aquiantences" about them. He has a girlfriend. He is alos telling you about OTHER girls in the gym. This is called projection. He know you like him so to project and direct your attention away from him he has in his defence gave you details about his partner and other people. If he was interested in you. He would have made a move by now. 1
Lois_Griffin Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 that's a big relief. I noticed his behavior as red flags so that makes him undateable in my book. But i was a little concerned that what my friend says is true. That would make our friendship a little awkward. I just wanted to confirm that my friends are wrong. Phew! Why don't I believe this exclamation of 'relief?' I think you were hoping we'd all tell you he was madly infatuated with you. You need to stop trying desperately to read between the lines. I mean honestly, just because he parks next to you, you see this as some kind of sign? It sounds as though he's tried his best to let you know he's NOT interested in any way, shape or form. In between possibly making up a girlfriend that doesn't exist right down to telling you how 'fine' your friend is, he's made it painfully clear he's not interested.
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