dazednconfused48 Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I've been a widow about 2.5 years and started dating about a year ago. So new to it as I was with my husband 23 years. I've dated a few and been seeing one about 3.5 months now. Rocky start with him canceling first two due to work he has own business landscape architect. Saw each other once during week and once on weekends. He has been consistent as he messages me twice a day. The last couple of weeks I haven't seen him as his work has been busy and he has daughter transferring college. Orientation and apartment hunting. Cancelled date as he was on a job and wouldn't make it back in time and weekends wrapped up. Spoke with him about it and he indicated he likes me a lot but struggling with time. We agreed to get through next few weeks till work/daughter settled. Still messages me twice a day. Thoughts where do I go from here.
smackie9 Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 Either you adjust to his schedule, or you get out now and find someone who has a less busy life. I have been in a similar situation. After about 3 weeks I dumped him. I had expectations that were not being met time wise and the reality of it is why sacrifice my needs just to be with someone.
Larryville Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 Thoughts where do I go from here. Keep exploring other options because this dude is not that into you. Don’t latch on he is not worth it. Frankly all of those “busy” examples is just BS. Meet other people… Don't waste time dwelling... 1
Gaeta Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 If in 3 months your relationship has never evolved beyond something more than 1 date on weekdays and 1 date on weekends then you are just going through the motion of FWB. Have you met each other's family? each other's children? I am on Larryville's side, it all sounds like excuses.
Author dazednconfused48 Posted May 4, 2016 Author Posted May 4, 2016 We live 35 minutes away from each other and no I haven't met his kids. One is out living on own and other 1.5 hours away in college. I'm struggling with his lack of time as well. We haven't seen each other in a few weeks so not sexual active but texts me at least 2x a day.
Larryville Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I'm struggling with his lack of time as well. We haven't seen each other in a few weeks so not sexual active but texts me at least 2x a day. Break off all contact, period. accommodating his distancing teaches him (and all men) that your time and attention are not of value. Move on! 1
heydad75 Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 We live 35 minutes away from each other and no I haven't met his kids. One is out living on own and other 1.5 hours away in college. I'm struggling with his lack of time as well. We haven't seen each other in a few weeks so not sexual active but texts me at least 2x a day. Hi, I think it is great of you to be so patient and understanding. You are also communicating to him your concerns directly and he has set a time when his life is less busy so that is a plus as well. As a father and husband myself I have had to resort to making sure that my "yes are yes and my no is a no" as stated in James 5:12. And If I commit to something then I need to follow through as a man. There is a decision point that you will have to make as time passes if you would like to pursue this relationship? Sincerely, Heydad75
andie1969 Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 To play devil's advocate here, I was married to a Landscape Architect for 13 years and NEVER saw him during the spring. If I wanted to see him on the weekends I had to take him lunch at work and hope for 5 minutes of uninterrupted time. So, being busy is not always an excuse, some professions are busier at certain times than others. I am currently seeing a surgeon who is constantly on call AND has joint custody of 4 kids...so yeah, he's busy too.
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