sc0316 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Yes. But the requirements are different for each sex. A hot young woman can be forgiven a lot. (I have no idea whether or not OP is hot. Probably about average because she is willing to settle for a man of average socioeconomic status.) Note that the requirements are different in each age bracket. In high school, girls want the coolest and the best looking guys. In college, they begin to look for earning potential. When approaching or in their thirties, they go directly for money. My comment was is response to OP's statement that she would have lots of options *if she were a man*.
Jabron1 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 (edited) I've been picking up a distinct 'where have all the good men gone?' vibe in this thread. Like I said, you had one (one of many perhaps?), and you weren't attracted to him. You were 'repulsed' in fact Something to consider... Edited May 6, 2016 by Jabron1 1
Toodaloo Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 What are those then, Elaine? Huddersfield? Are all the men in Huddersfield crap? Better go to Swindon instead. I hear all the men are wonderful there. It's where all the magical unicorns congregate I have a gorgeous wonderful ex who lives in Huddersfield... don't diss the Northerners (unless they are from Stains)... Current beau is building homes in Swindon but lives in "loser town"... The magical unicorns congregate in the boot of my car. I am selling their manure to overly keen gardeners and rose enthusiasts. Not dated a guy from Luton but the bloke who owns the local curry house now lives in Heathrow. Does that count? He does make a really good curry and has thighs to die for... 3
katiegrl Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 (edited) The first quote yes, IRL the body language, eye contact ect if you have the basic awareness to process basic human behaviors. But what G says is true too... especially men, because men and not that bright. If you are a jackass in real life you can’t help but be a jackass in OLD. I have yet to meet one woman who was even slightly that much different upon meeting than her profile, initial emails and phone conversation indicated. I’m sorry but some women just don’t have a freaking clue and will allow these idiot dudes to scam them just because the dude might be decent looking because some are so desperate for attention. I said before where or how you meet someone is so irrelevant. If you lack social skills, or was raised in an environment where your relationship role models were less than desirable they you no doubt will lack those skills in human interaction. I can’t disagree with this, but I just don’t think it matters IRL vs OLD some people are just completely lost and some were simply not raised to have basic common sense skills in human interaction. Some people are poor test takers, does not make them stupid. Some people are horrible at job interviews because of poor language and body language skills, does not mean they would be bad employees. This applies to dating too. And some people are living in never-never land and see only what they want to see. I did for six years... lesson learned!! I was so in love I failed to see that my wonderful, caring, loving, attentive boyfriend, who eventually became my fiance, had a whole n'other life that I was completely unaware of. He was a drug addict. Which I failed to see, and I am considered to be more perceptive than most people. I can see very clearly deception in other situations but could not see it in my own, which I think is very common. In my defense NO ONE else saw it either though. Now that I know the truth, six years later, I look back and can see very clearly the signs. I see this happening with so many other women too. Not the drug addict part, but the hidden agenda many of these guys have. Whole other lives their gfs know nothing about, including a wife perhaps with whom they have a so-called open RL and/or living in another country, or what they do for a living, money they have but do not wish to disclose, so claim they're dead broke, whatevs. These guys can be big charmers, really know how to pull women in, especially the ones who are lonely, have been ghosted and faded on time and time again. Anyhoo.... as I said big lesson learned for me. Pay attention!! Take off the blinders! Stop living in never-never land! Edited May 6, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Larryville Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 I can see very clearly deception in other situations but could not see it in my own, which I think is very common. Yes, very true… With me, I’m not gonna lie, ever since I was a very small child, I was a human barometer. There was this joke in my family that if you had somebody go near little Larry and I would get this jacked up look/frown on my face or started crying, that person was busted. Potential boyfriends, girlfriends, screwed up relatives… were immediately terminated… The unfortunate thing about me is I just fundamentally think all human being are suspect until proven otherwise and that is why on this site some of these threads is so extraordinarily difficult for me to wrap my head around. Not that I hate the human race but folks just have to remember we all have “a public side, a private side and a secret side” If someone is showing you something IN THEIR PUBLIC PERSONA that is even slightly shady, multiply that X1000 for the secret side of that person, means their secret side is usually pretty horrific. Trust is earned and nobody should ever give away their trust cheaply. 2
truth_seeker Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 Not that I hate the human race but folks just have to remember we all have “a public side, a private side and a secret side” If someone is showing you something IN THEIR PUBLIC PERSONA that is even slightly shady, multiply that X1000 for the secret side of that person, means their secret side is usually pretty horrific. Trust is earned and nobody should ever give away their trust cheaply. GOOD POST! This needs to be printed and placed on the refrigerator.
Shanex Posted May 7, 2016 Posted May 7, 2016 I wouldnt scream losers or freaks yet. I dont judge someone whos lost his job. Being in good health and chronically unemployed is different. Some of these Guys if not all are time wasters expecting to easily get laid. There are plenty of unemployed women on these sites too. There are many factors.. Some are bums and fine with it, some have lost their jobs in difficult circumstances.
tuxedo cat Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 (edited) I've found exactly the same thing with online dating. Miss the days when a stable career wasn't important to me in a partner because I wasn't looking to have a family any time soon. Dating feels very pragmatic and boring now. Like you I don't care about a flashy career. I just want to find a guy who has a normal job and isn't living like a college student. The difficulty is it's sometimes hard to tell. I got in a short relationship last fall with a guy who claimed he had a good freelance career but in reality barely worked as I discovered after a few months with him. I'm open-minded but even if it was a rough patch I didn't get the feeling he had much long term potential because of some of the stories he told me about his behavior at work... After dating another guy recently who had a good career but it didn't work out with for various reasons, I'm back in the fray this week and reactivated my dating apps. This time around I've started googling every potential guy I'm considering meeting, looking at his linkedin and website if he has one. I don't usually need to ask for last name. It's usually easy to find on google by looking up his first name and listed occupation or company. Easy way of eliminating most of the BSers. Meanwhile my 30-years-old unemployed ex who lives at home is able to meet attractive, successful women online who want to date him. I swear in my next life I'm coming back as a man. Edited June 7, 2016 by tuxedo cat
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 8, 2016 Posted June 8, 2016 I've found exactly the same thing with online dating. Miss the days when a stable career wasn't important to me in a partner because I wasn't looking to have a family any time soon. Dating feels very pragmatic and boring now. Like you I don't care about a flashy career. I just want to find a guy who has a normal job and isn't living like a college student. The difficulty is it's sometimes hard to tell. I got in a short relationship last fall with a guy who claimed he had a good freelance career but in reality barely worked as I discovered after a few months with him. I'm open-minded but even if it was a rough patch I didn't get the feeling he had much long term potential because of some of the stories he told me about his behavior at work... After dating another guy recently who had a good career but it didn't work out with for various reasons, I'm back in the fray this week and reactivated my dating apps. This time around I've started googling every potential guy I'm considering meeting, looking at his linkedin and website if he has one. I don't usually need to ask for last name. It's usually easy to find on google by looking up his first name and listed occupation or company. Easy way of eliminating most of the BSers. Meanwhile my 30-years-old unemployed ex who lives at home is able to meet attractive, successful women online who want to date him. I swear in my next life I'm coming back as a man. You have to remember, the economy isn't as great as it used to be. When someone is employed, no one stays at the same company for 20 years and retires with a pension. Gone are those days and work is typically farmed out at contract work that last a couple of years...then a gap in employment...wash rinse repeat. If someone needs to be employed, there's always that position as a stock person at the Home Depot or Lowes at min. wage, but not full time of course. Those are pretty much the only jobs that could be easily obtained these days. If anything, people are underemployed. So cut some of these guys some slack. 2
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