TheBathWater Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 There are plenty of eligible, attractive, interesting, single men on OLD. The thing is, people search out superficial traits on OLD and so they wind up disappointed. Not to toot my own here, but I'm an amazing catch and very few women view my profile or reach out to me initially, because I'm 5'7" and most men on OLD are much taller than me.
ThaWholigan Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 Because they are lonely or horny (or both) and they have nothing better to do inbetween looking for jobs. (Been there, done that)
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 I suspect that the lying dudes on OLD are the exact same lying dudes IRL so they'd likely lie to your face should you meet them in the flesh; probably not an OLD-exclusive thing. I know a consultant where I work who does OLD (yeah, medics do that too) and he says he doesn't put his job down specifically because he knows it'll attract a certain type of women he doesn't want (the type that gets hung up on jobs, I guess) - maybe you should widen your criteria? 1
The_Dork_Lard Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 most men on OLD are much taller than me. So they say. 1
Wave Rider Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 (edited) I had the opposite experience with looking at the men on OLD sites. I looked at their profiles for ideas and to see what I was competing against, and I was shocked to see guys who were practicing lawyers, and lots of other men with really interesting lives. Far from being a dump for the rejected and the unemployed, I was somewhat intimidated by the resumes of the men I saw. I decided not to pursue OLD because, even though I'm getting paid to get a PhD in physics, I don't think I can compete with guys who are already lawyers, regardless of how interesting my life is otherwise. Edited May 6, 2016 by Wave Rider
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted May 6, 2016 Author Posted May 6, 2016 I had the opposite experience with looking at the men on OLD sites. I looked at their profiles for ideas and to see what I was competing against, and I was shocked to see guys who were practicing lawyers, and lots of other men with really interesting lives. Far from being a dump for the rejected and the unemployed, I was somewhat intimidated by the resumes of the men I saw. I decided not to pursue OLD because, even though I'm getting paid to get a PhD in physics, I don't think I can compete with guys who are already lawyers, regardless of how interesting my life is otherwise. It probably depends on the area. My town is full loserly men
joseb Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 It probably depends on the area. My town is full loserly men Perhaps your thread should have read "why do i live in a town full of loserly men" ?! 7
Buddhist Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 This is just the United States alone (They obviously have character flaws) Ok so that an awful lot of people that has character flaws… So I am absolutely certain that there are more folks with character flaws in other countries as well. Those stats look about right to me. Everyone has character flaws, anyone who tells me they don't is telling me their $#@% don't stink. Deadbeats are people who take no responsibility for their lives, which from the looks of things appears to be the vast majority. One does not need a criminal record and jail time to be a deadbeat.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted May 6, 2016 Author Posted May 6, 2016 Perhaps your thread should have read "why do i live in a town full of loserly men" ?! Because I have a job that I love which also has great salary and benefits. I have also made great friends here and the thought of moving and starting over just so I have more OLD options is beyond depressing. I'm in a niche career field and nothing comparable is available in Australia. Moving oufdide of Australia is not an option because I don't want to be more than a few hours away from my parents who are sick and getting older. I am just venting.
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Because I have a job that I love which also has great salary and benefits. I have also made great friends here and the thought of moving and starting over just so I have more OLD options is beyond depressing. I'm in a niche career field and nothing comparable is available in Australia. Moving oufdide of Australia is not an option because I don't want to be more than a few hours away from my parents who are sick and getting older. I am just venting. Sounds like my town, also a lot of retirees or married people. Kind of sucks when you can't go into a bookstore, try to strike up a conversation with a cutie only to have the boyfriend in wilderness camo shows up. lol Most people here are married or spoken for if they in the younger age bracket. I mean, giving up a career to relocate JUST so that you have better dating options? Not a wise idea.
xxoo Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 If you're really just looking for fun, good company, and great sex, and not necessarily marriage or living together, does it matter what job the guy has? 1
Jabron1 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 It probably depends on the area. My town is full loserly men No town is full of 'loserly men'. You are the problem here. You will keep having problems until you address that. The last good guy you met, you found 'repulsive'. If someone serves you up something good, and you can't appreciate it, is that the fault of the chef or of the customer's palate?
AMarriedMan Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 If I was a man, I would have so many options :/ You mean if you were a successful man like one of those doctors.
elaine567 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 No town is full of 'loserly men'. You are the problem here. You will keep having problems until you address that. We all know places like that, so I am not sure why you are putting this all back on Eternal Sunshine. 1
carhill Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Yeah, balancing the scheme of things, suffering the phalanx of broke and unemployed guys would seem a good deal. Job one loves and time with one's parents who apparently are life-limited. That latter brings up another reason, one I dealt with while married but easily could have while single. Caregiving put a big dent in time spent on business and work, both physically and emotionally. OP isn't caring for her parents personally, AFAIK, but a guy certainly could be, and OLD would be both a very convenient way to meet people as well as gain respite from his duties, even if merely interacting online as a distraction. While broke and unemployed tends to imply loserly, it doesn't have to necessary insure that.
Jabron1 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 We all know places like that, so I am not sure why you are putting this all back on Eternal Sunshine. What are those then, Elaine? Huddersfield? Are all the men in Huddersfield crap? Better go to Swindon instead. I hear all the men are wonderful there. It's where all the magical unicorns congregate 1
Haydn Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 What are those then, Elaine? Huddersfield? Are all the men in Huddersfield crap? Better go to Swindon instead. I hear all the men are wonderful there. It's where all the magical unicorns congregate Luton........ 2
sc0316 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 You mean if you were a successful man like one of those doctors. OP has mentioned in previous threads that she has roommate(s). Aren't women who have a checklist also turned off by guys who don't live by their own?? According to a recent study, doctors are the most overrated occupation.
AMarriedMan Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 OP has mentioned in previous threads that she has roommate(s). Aren't women who have a checklist also turned off by guys who don't live by their own?? Yes. But the requirements are different for each sex. A hot young woman can be forgiven a lot. (I have no idea whether or not OP is hot. Probably about average because she is willing to settle for a man of average socioeconomic status.) Note that the requirements are different in each age bracket. In high school, girls want the coolest and the best looking guys. In college, they begin to look for earning potential. When approaching or in their thirties, they go directly for money.
katiegrl Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 (edited) I can understand being in transition for a few months tops. Shyt happens. But after 5-6 months, if a guy is STILL without steady job, STILL dead broke (or claims to be) STILL won't allow you to see where or how he lives, something is definitely up and not in a good way.... time to re-evaluate and possibly walk. No matter how great you *think* he is or how intoxicating the chemistry. This isn't directed at you ES, but generally speaking. Edited May 6, 2016 by katiegrl 1
smackie9 Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Of course those jerks and weirdo are out there irl BUT OLD is more accessible, plus it's waaaaaaaaaaay easier to deceive people, and hide behind a keyboard. IRL it takes seconds to figure out a person because you can SEE their body language, feel your instincts, and assess more easier what a person is like. You don't need words to figure out if they are bsing you or not....you can usually see it. 1
katiegrl Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Of course those jerks and weirdo are out there irl BUT OLD is more accessible, plus it's waaaaaaaaaaay easier to deceive people, and hide behind a keyboard. IRL it takes seconds to figure out a person because you can SEE their body language, feel your instincts, and assess more easier what a person is like. You don't need words to figure out if they are bsing you or not....you can usually see it. I agree but even if you meet on line, one should be able to detect deception after a few months of dating that person. Problem is there are sooooooo many lonely people out there, people who have been ghosted, faded on etc for years, so they catapult themselves into denial and refuse to see what is staring them right in the face. Cause if they did, they would have no choice but see, really see, the BS, and have to leave, which they are not ready to do. I know a few women who do this, who are doing it now in fact. Sad IMO.
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Of course those jerks and weirdo are out there irl BUT OLD is more accessible, plus it's waaaaaaaaaaay easier to deceive people, and hide behind a keyboard. IRL it takes seconds to figure out a person because you can SEE their body language, feel your instincts, and assess more easier what a person is like. You don't need words to figure out if they are bsing you or not....you can usually see it. Not my experience. The person you meet online is the same as the person you meet IRL. The first meeting tells it all for both of them. Online I met good genuine men and players. In real life, on day to day being approached by men in public places, MOST of them were players. Maybe ONE was genuine. It's not about the mean with which you meet men, it's just men nowadays, it's just not the same as 20 years ago. That time is gone. 1
Larryville Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 IRL it takes seconds to figure out a person because you can SEE their body language, feel your instincts, and assess more easier what a person is like. You don't need words to figure out if they are bsing you or not. The person you meet online is the same as the person you meet IRL. The first meeting tells it all for both of them. The first quote yes, IRL the body language, eye contact ect if you have the basic awareness to process basic human behaviors. But what G says is true too... especially men, because men and not that bright. If you are a jackass in real life you can’t help but be a jackass in OLD. I have yet to meet one woman who was even slightly that much different upon meeting than her profile, initial emails and phone conversation indicated. I’m sorry but some women just don’t have a freaking clue and will allow these idiot dudes to scam them just because the dude might be decent looking because some are so desperate for attention. I said before where or how you meet someone is so irrelevant. If you lack social skills, or was raised in an environment where your relationship role models were less than desirable they you no doubt will lack those skills in human interaction. plus it's waaaaaaaaaaay easier to deceive people… I can’t disagree with this, but I just don’t think it matters IRL vs OLD some people are just completely lost and some were simply not raised to have basic common sense skills in human interaction. Some people are poor test takers, does not make them stupid. Some people are horrible at job interviews because of poor language and body language skills, does not mean they would be bad employees. This applies to dating too. 1
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