Coollaxer Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 So it was my special day yesterday with my girlfriend. And she's been in Florida since May 1st on vacation! And the first time I saw her in the week she was away was the day before our special day. And I took her out to dinner since I was so exited to see her as I wanted to discuss how her week went. And she insisted we waited the next day since it was a special day and I just said I really wanted to take her out and I did! But the next day rolls around and I realize that all I have money for is flowers..... So I got her flowers and ALL day we sat in the house and did nothing... Like sat on the couch didn't do anything. Now I feel really bad about this all! It was a rainy day boring, ate dinner with her family. ( I realized after I could have at lest cooked her dinner) and no I just feel stupid and guilty as I really should have waited till the next day so we could celebrate! And on top of that I had no gas and no money since I'm a college student. Now she didn't make it seem my fault at all, she told me it wasn't. She was just telling me how excited she was all week about it and then we sat on the couch all day and did nothing. I keep telling her I'll Make up for it as I feel so bad since she was so excited! And she even teard up a little bc she was dissappinted and just wanted to have fun with me. I want to take her out this weekend on a date like something cute to make up for it. Any ideas??
Zippy2000 Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 Sorry to hear about your situation but please dont sit on you PC and tell us what happened. You need to communicate to her and acknowledge the fact it may not be up to her expectations but for goodness sake...........MAKE IT UP TO HER. It doesnt have to be all about money. Have you tried to make something for her? Do you have any talents like painting or any other arts and crafts. Surprise her and take her out again! Use your mind. You know her most......not us. 1
Lorenza Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I'm sorry, but why do you have to make it up for her? She didn't do anything for you either, as I understood. Isn't this day supposed to be about the both of you? 5
acrosstheuniverse Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I don't see what you have to make up to her. From my understanding you got her flowers, and she got you nothing/did nothing for you? Or did she give you an extravagant gift you haven't mentioned? Don't fall into the trap of thinking that anniversaries and valentines days are a time for you to splash the cash on her if she puts in zero effort in return. It should be mutual. As a student I think the flowers were sweet. However you sound like you need to work on your money management if one day you thought you had enough for dinner and the next you suddenly discovered you didn't, don't you keep track of your finances? A little off topic but just seems strange that in the space of a day you suddenly figure out your financial situation has changed that quickly. 1
smackie9 Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 Good lord there are things you could have done for free like given her a foot massage or grabbed an umbrella and go for a walk, maybe ditched the flowers and take her out for an ice cream, wrote her a love poem in a card, played her a love song on FB, even go to the mall and look at the puppies and kittens for fun. ***This had nothing to do with how much money you had to spend on her, it was your lack of romance and no use of your imagination to make it special. You sat on your ass like a dumb, dumb.
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I agree that romance doesn't have to cost money but I also have to ask you about how much thought you put into this. You knew this day was coming up, why didn't you budget better? that said, flowers was a nice gesture. There is nothing to make up for.
RecentChange Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I hate making such a bid deal about these kinds of "days" because it causes all sorts of high expectations, hurt feelings etc etc (I put birthdays in the same category!) Any way, like others said, you can do things that do not cost money. Thinking back to when the Mr. and I were dead broke in college - for valentines I made him "gift certificates" - one for a massage, one for a dinner cooked from scratch, some for other more tawdry things.... Didn't cost any thing. I walked in the door after a long drive to be surprised with a trail of flower petals - which led to the tub, which was steaming, lovely scented and surrounded by candles. Again, didn't cost much - did take a bit of thought, and really made me feel special.
No_Go Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I think you're waaaay over-analyzing. How old are you and your GF? I'm among women that don't care at all about birthdays and anniversaries. It is just completely irrelevant to me. If she's like me - she'll not care, at all, whether you've done something. Oh, and it is one year Dating anniversary. It is just nothing. No marriage, nothing significant. I wonder how do you even count the anniversary of dating date? First encounter? First real date? Date of declaring exclusivity? Date of declaring bf/gf?
GR4 Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 Yeah people place way too much emphasis on these sorts of things. It's pretty meaningless to be honest. You made some sort of effort with the flowers but I have to agree with some of the others here, did she not make any effort at all? An anniversary isn't like a birthday, you both should be putting in the same amount of effort.
PogoStick Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 An anniversary isn't like a birthday, you both should be putting in the same amount of effort. Why is a birthday even a big deal? Celebrate that your parents fked. Good idea!
katiegrl Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 I just wanted to comment on her "tearing up" over this. Good lord, talk about sending you on a major guilt-trip. What did SHE do for you? It was both your anniversary, not just hers! OP you sound young so learn this now. Grow a backbone and do not allow these chicks to manipulate you....
GR4 Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 Why is a birthday even a big deal? Celebrate that your parents fked. Good idea! I totally agree, I couldn't care less about my birthday but I realise most people like to make a song and dance over it for whatever reason.
heydad75 Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 So it was my special day yesterday with my girlfriend. And she's been in Florida since May 1st on vacation! And the first time I saw her in the week she was away was the day before our special day. And I took her out to dinner since I was so exited to see her as I wanted to discuss how her week went. And she insisted we waited the next day since it was a special day and I just said I really wanted to take her out and I did! But the next day rolls around and I realize that all I have money for is flowers..... So I got her flowers and ALL day we sat in the house and did nothing... Like sat on the couch didn't do anything. Now I feel really bad about this all! It was a rainy day boring, ate dinner with her family. ( I realized after I could have at lest cooked her dinner) and no I just feel stupid and guilty as I really should have waited till the next day so we could celebrate! And on top of that I had no gas and no money since I'm a college student. Now she didn't make it seem my fault at all, she told me it wasn't. She was just telling me how excited she was all week about it and then we sat on the couch all day and did nothing. I keep telling her I'll Make up for it as I feel so bad since she was so excited! And she even teard up a little bc she was dissappinted and just wanted to have fun with me. I want to take her out this weekend on a date like something cute to make up for it. Any ideas?? Hi, It sounds like you really wanted to do something special with your girlfriend and I commend you for that. It also sounds like you really care for her since you feel like she deserves something grand and special. Way to go! Your relationship and your value for her might be the best thing you have going here. I have been there as a college student and later on as a married man where I have had to "Step Up" and eliminate any of the things that might prevent me from caring for my wife such as not being organized or taking control of my finances. I hope this encourages you to do the same. Sincerely, Heydad75
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