Panatana90 Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 Hey everyone, I hope someone can help me with a bit of stress I have been going through lately. To give you some background information - I am 26 year old guy who has only been in one serious relationship. It lasted four years and I was dumped out of the blue two years ago and I was left absolutely heart-broken. I no longer speak to my ex. After this happened, I went and had quite a bit of "fun" as a single guy and went from one fling to another. However, I never felt comfortable with these and if I am totally honest, I was only dating in the hope of getting sex. Once I got it, I usually got bored and made an excuse to end the flings - much to the disappointment of some of the girls. Eights months after my ex broke up with me, my mum passed away. She had cancer and was just 47. Needless to say, this was so much to deal with in such a short space of time. The two women in my life who I truly loved and cared for were gone. I took a break from dating after mum died...around six months of no dates. Just had some "me" time to get my head straight. At the start of 2016, I started dating again and once more I find my head in a screwed up place. I met a girl on a dating website and at first we agreed to keep it quite casual, which it was. However after a while it was becoming obvious to me that she was starting to develop more serious feelings. We would hang out and have a good time doing things like eating out, drives etc. She is a wonderfully generous and thoughtful person. 100% genuine and seems to care for me greatly. She has told me she really likes me and although I do like her - I am not sure I feel AS strongly. It has only been about two months since we started seeing each other. In last few weeks, I started talking to another girl who also has all of these same qualities. If I am honest, I probably find this other girl a bit more attractive but I haven't known her as long. She is foreign and I don't know how long she would stay in UK as she is just new here. She isn't sure herself. We have only spent two dates together but we do get along great. In perhaps a rash and stupid move, I told the first girl I have been talking about that we should just be friends. I now question my decision. She was hurt but I know the door isn't completely closed and we could see each other again. Have I made the right choice? I feel guilty because she's such a good person who I care for a lot. Why do I struggle to stick to a relationship these days? Would it have anything to do with the pain I suffered with my mum's passing and break-up? My thoughts now are to maybe spend a bit more time with the foreign girl and if I still have doubts I might try to go back to the other girl. Does anyone have any thoughts on my situation? Any help or advice would be greatly apprciated.
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I'm sorry for the loss of your mom. It's particularly tough this time of year. Choice can be tough. By saying yes to one thing or person you say no to something else. Here, you know woman #1 had feelings for you. Woman #2 is still a bit of an unknown, good qualities, more attractive but whether she returns your feelings or how long she'll stick around is still a mystery. That said, because you know that #1 liked you more then you liked her, you probably did her a favor by ending this. Keep your options open. Your heart will tell you when the time is right.
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