Lily1234 Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I dated this guy about 3 weeks, and I left my toothbrush behind on my second sleep over. I actually didn't realize this is a big step at that time, I just don't wanna kiss him with bad breath in the morning. He seemed a little surprised and stop asking me out after that. In fact, we haven't talk to each other about 5 days now Did my behavior scare him off? Shall I explain to him? Or he is just not that interested?
ExpatInItaly Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I dated this guy about 3 weeks, and I left my toothbrush behind on my second sleep over. I actually didn't realize this is a big step at that time, I just don't wanna kiss him with bad breath in the morning. He seemed a little surprised and stop asking me out after that. In fact, we haven't talk to each other about 5 days now Did my behavior scare him off? Shall I explain to him? Or he is just not that interested? What do you mean, he seemed surprised? Did he say something to you about it? How long have you been seeing each other? 1
Author Lily1234 Posted May 4, 2016 Author Posted May 4, 2016 We've been seeing each other about 3 weeks. The first time I slept over at his place, he said he was sorry that he doesn't have any extra toothbrush. So I brought a new toothbrush with me when I went to his place the second time. Because I don't wanna kiss him with a bad breath. But he asked me "do you wanna leave the toothbrush behind?", and I said "yep, don't throw it away" with a kidding tone. He said he won't, but he stopped asking me out after that
Author Lily1234 Posted May 4, 2016 Author Posted May 4, 2016 Did you have sex? Yes, why? You think he lost his interests once after we slept together?
Author Lily1234 Posted May 4, 2016 Author Posted May 4, 2016 What do you mean, he seemed surprised? Did he say something to you about it? How long have you been seeing each other? We've been seeing each other about 3 weeks. The first time I slept over at his place, he said he was sorry that he doesn't have any extra toothbrush. So I brought a new toothbrush with me when I went to his place the second time. Because I don't wanna kiss him with a bad breath. But he asked me "do you wanna leave the toothbrush behind?", and I said "yep, don't throw it away" with a kidding tone. He said he won't, but he stopped asking me out after that
MidwestUSA Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 Yes, why? You think he lost his interests once after we slept together? Probably. The toothbrush was just an innocent victim. It's not about the toothbrush. If he had a 'thing' about toothbrushes (teethbrushes?) and their 'meaning', he wouldn't have felt bad about not having one to offer you. 3
Author Lily1234 Posted May 4, 2016 Author Posted May 4, 2016 Probably. The toothbrush was just an innocent victim. It's not about the toothbrush. If he had a 'thing' about toothbrushes (teethbrushes?) and their 'meaning', he wouldn't have felt bad about not having one to offer you. thanks for advice. So shall I explain it to him?
MidwestUSA Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 thanks for advice. So shall I explain it to him? How will you do that if you're not speaking to him? Explain what exactly? Don't mention the toothbrush. Ever. It's either still there or it isn't.
Author Lily1234 Posted May 4, 2016 Author Posted May 4, 2016 How will you do that if you're not speaking to him? Explain what exactly? Don't mention the toothbrush. Ever. It's either still there or it isn't. So…this whole just ended like this? There is anything else I can do?
MidwestUSA Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 So…this whole just ended like this? There is anything else I can do? Well, it depends on who contacted who during your three weeks. Did he always initiate? Or were you comfortable contacting him?
Author Lily1234 Posted May 4, 2016 Author Posted May 4, 2016 Well, it depends on who contacted who during your three weeks. Did he always initiate? Or were you comfortable contacting him? We both initiate the conversation, so it's fine for me to contact him. My concern is that what is the real reason he stopped asking me out. Just not that interested?
lana-banana Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 If he was really interested in you, the toothbrush wouldn't have bothered him much at all. It may have scared him off a bit or he took it the wrong way, but ultimately he's not interested anymore. There's nothing more you can do. Don't ask him out again or try to explain you didn't mean anything by what you said; you'll look desperate. And the next time you meet a guy you like make sure you buy a good pack of gum. 2
Author Lily1234 Posted May 4, 2016 Author Posted May 4, 2016 If he was really interested in you, the toothbrush wouldn't have bothered him much at all. It may have scared him off a bit or he took it the wrong way, but ultimately he's not interested anymore. There's nothing more you can do. Don't ask him out again or try to explain you didn't mean anything by what you said; you'll look desperate. And the next time you meet a guy you like make sure you buy a good pack of gum. lol. thanks for the advice about gum! And I think you are right, he just lost interests and I won't know the reason why.
Lois_Griffin Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 So…this whole just ended like this? There is anything else I can do? If this guy is such a jackass that he has no problem being intimate with you but is going to act like a paranoid freak because you wanted a toothbrush for the mornings, then he's not worth your damned time. I just don't get how people think it's just fine to have sex with anyone who'll have them but act as though it's some kind of 'invasion of privacy' because you left a toothbrush there. Screw him. And I don't mean that literally. 6
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I agree with Lois_Griffen But if you really want to see him, pick up the phone & ask him out. Do not mention the toothbrush. Just go on a date you arrange & pay for. If he seems evasive or lukewarm, take the hint & walk away. 1
katiegrl Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 Agree with Lois Griffin too. If the guy is gonna get this freaked out over a damn toothbrush, , so much so that he stops calling, texting, asking you out, then IMO you dodged a huge bullet. Good lord it's a toothbrush, and you *are* having sex and spending the night after all. So it would make sense that you would want to leave one there. It's not like you were asking for a *drawer* or anything, it's a toothbrush! How silly. Don't ask him out, you dodged a bullet. 1
Gaeta Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I dated this guy about 3 weeks, and I left my toothbrush behind on my second sleep over. I actually didn't realize this is a big step at that time, I just don't wanna kiss him with bad breath in the morning. He seemed a little surprised and stop asking me out after that. In fact, we haven't talk to each other about 5 days now Did my behavior scare him off? Shall I explain to him? Or he is just not that interested? After 3 weeks dating you should be comfortable contacting him. Have you?
katiegrl Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 No need to contact him. His silence here speaks volumes. If the toothbrush incident hadn't happened, I would suggest she contact him too. But some things are just so damn obvious ... I wouldn't waste my energy. He's freaked over a silly toothbrush, the guy's got some issues. I can't say this often enough....choose wisely from the get go and avoid having to deal with BS later.
carhill Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 OP, what do you want to do to move forward? We can't read his mind so any whys would come from face to face communication and personal analysis. If I had to hazard a guess, considering your interaction and assigning the best possible intentions to him, he's overwhelmed and thinks things are moving too fast and pulled away. This does happen, to greater or lesser degrees, as relationship intimacy proceeds. My first thought when reading your title was I hoped it wasn't one of those expensive ultrasonic toothbrushes because, heck, I'd want that back! 2
ChickiePops Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 To be fair..you could have just brought the toothbrush back and forth with you for the first couple of weeks. That's what purses are for. Don't apologize or anything but I might check in and see what's up. 3 weeks is pretty soon and leaving a personal item at someone's house does suggest a certain level of intimacy. It's really not that big a deal, but men are skittish creatures in general and it was probably a little overwhelming to think about having this constant reminder in the bathroom..it may have felt like pressure to him. 1
No_Go Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 I didn't get it - why would you need to leave the toothbrush? It doesn't even take space in your purse. There are compact ones with a size of a tampon or lipstick... cost 5 bucks or less However, I bet the reason he's not calling is that he's just not interested. The toothbrush... is just staying there, on his shelf... 3
introverted1 Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 3 weeks is pretty soon and leaving a personal item at someone's house does suggest a certain level of intimacy. Unlike, say, placing his penis in her vagina or mouth. I can't even... OP, I don't think your toothbrush has anything to do with why he hasn't contacted you. Sometimes people just fade away. If you want, you can contact him and ask him out but I would definitely NOT bring up the toothbrush. 1
Gaeta Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 That's interesting, so what's the etiquette on leaving a toothbrush at someone's place? 1
introverted1 Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 Beats me. Threads like this make me feel really old! All I know is that if a man asked me to spend the night, had sex with me (which I consider an intimate act), apologised for not having a toothbrush for me, and THEN got wiggy because I brought my own toothbrush, which I happened to forget in his bathroom... That would be it for me. I simply cannot reconcile the notion that sex -- blow jobs, oral sex, intercourse, whatever -- would be acceptable, sleeping over would be acceptable, but leaving a toothbrush is the tipping point into the land of "too intimate." 2
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