The_Dork_Lard Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 Nevermind all this dating etiquette, I'm stuck trying to work out why I've spent more time reading this whole thread than the OP's one and only date lasted. Did you text her back, OP? 1
Zapbasket Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 Nevermind all this dating etiquette, I'm stuck trying to work out why I've spent more time reading this whole thread than the OP's one and only date lasted. Did you text her back, OP? Because we all know how it feels. Dating is so mother-f'ing sh*tty because it stokes every deep-seated insecurity we think we've worked through a billion times over and yet there we are, full of hopes, feeling anxious like when we were that new kid at the school playground at recess, hoping to be picked to play kickball. And so if we can help each other on here, this secret digital lunchroom we go to to figure out the annoying and hurtful enigmas of relationships, then that's a great thing because going it alone is just miserable. 1
The_Dork_Lard Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 Because we all know how it feels. Dating is so mother-f'ing sh*tty because it stokes every deep-seated insecurity we think we've worked through a billion times over and yet there we are, full of hopes, feeling anxious like when we were that new kid at the school playground at recess, hoping to be picked to play kickball. And so if we can help each other on here, this secret digital lunchroom we go to to figure out the annoying and hurtful enigmas of relationships, then that's a great thing because going it alone is just miserable. I couldn't help but detect a tone of irritation and anger towards me throughout your reply, and I hope I'm wrong (I'm sure you'll tell me if I am). But if I'm not, I'd like to say I wasn't mocking anybody, nor was I sneering, I was expressing my fascination and my own interest in the narrative of OP's first date, and dating in general. Hence why I felt stuck to explain why I'd do that over a stranger's 3 hour liaison. I was tacitly communicating the very thing you said, coming to the lunchroom to spend time reading others' perspectives. 1
Imajerk17 Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 (edited) Why is this? I mean, I'm not saying this is a bad idea, but sometimes I call back later to set up a 2nd date. I mean, I've been known to say, "I had a nice time, would like to do this again?" or "We should do this again some time!" But, they say, "Yeah, sure!" but could be fibbing or not really mean it in the same fashion as when someone asks, "Hey, how's it going?!" in a greeting when someone says, "going good!" even when things' aren't good. People just snap answer, and when when you thought they were agreeable to the 2nd date at the end of the first...you go to call to set up a 2nd date...only to be ignored. If she is interested: You're taking away unneeded steps by asking at the end of the first date. Instead of you calling her (likely a day or two later when her interest in you may have dissipated/waned due to rest-of-life stuff, other guys on Match, ect) and her having to get back to you, you are setting up the date then and there when her interest is high. Strike when the iron is hot! If she really isn't interested: You're finding out right away instead of being kept hanging for the few days it takes her to get back to you or poof on you. And by asking then and there, you may convert a few maybes into a yes! Now, she may agree to the date and then back out. In that case you did what you could have done. If you had waited to ask her she would have said no or just poofed altogether. Edited May 5, 2016 by Imajerk17
Zapbasket Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 I couldn't help but detect a tone of irritation and anger towards me throughout your reply, and I hope I'm wrong (I'm sure you'll tell me if I am). But if I'm not, I'd like to say I wasn't mocking anybody, nor was I sneering, I was expressing my fascination and my own interest in the narrative of OP's first date, and dating in general. Hence why I felt stuck to explain why I'd do that over a stranger's 3 hour liaison. I was tacitly communicating the very thing you said, coming to the lunchroom to spend time reading others' perspectives. Oh, gosh, no--not at all! I'm really sorry it came across that way. I was chiming in with you, because obviously I, too, have read the whole thread given I've commented copiously on it...and I imagine the reason I find this topic / the OP's situation compelling is similar to why others find it so compelling. If I sounded weary or irritated, it was weariness and irritation with the whole dating picture, which can really seem like a hopeless parade of douchery. I was verbally "clinking beers" with you, along the lines of, "Oh man, hear, hear." But I'm glad we had this little misunderstanding, because it just goes to show how hard it can be to convey tone / intent / etc. via print that's supposed to be spontaneous, like "real" conversation. And this in a space where we could write super super long posts (like I do...a lot ). So imagine how weird it gets when you're sending texts back and forth! 2
The_Dork_Lard Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 Oh, gosh, no--not at all! I'm really sorry it came across that way. I was chiming in with you, because obviously I, too, have read the whole thread given I've commented copiously on it...and I imagine the reason I find this topic / the OP's situation compelling is similar to why others find it so compelling. If I sounded weary or irritated, it was weariness and irritation with the whole dating picture, which can really seem like a hopeless parade of douchery. I was verbally "clinking beers" with you, along the lines of, "Oh man, hear, hear." But I'm glad we had this little misunderstanding, because it just goes to show how hard it can be to convey tone / intent / etc. via print that's supposed to be spontaneous, like "real" conversation. And this in a space where we could write super super long posts (like I do...a lot ). So imagine how weird it gets when you're sending texts back and forth! I hate to go off topic in somebody's thread (sorry OP), but, any chance you could create a bit of space in your inbox so I can send a PM please? It won't let me send one because apparently you're full.
Zapbasket Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 I hate to go off topic in somebody's thread (sorry OP), but, any chance you could create a bit of space in your inbox so I can send a PM please? It won't let me send one because apparently you're full. Try me now. (I'm an email hoarder )
kendahke Posted May 6, 2016 Posted May 6, 2016 BIG NEW DEVELOPMENT She just texted me and apologized for not responding back. She said she's been sick all week.....and now she wants to know how my week has been. I haven't responded yet. OK, guys what are your thoughts? I just got over a really, really bad bronchial nightmare with a 102.5 fever, eyeballs that ached (didn't know that was possible) and congestion like molasses and I still texted people when lucidity reigned in between my episodes of delirium. So, no--unless she was unconscious all week, which she wasn't or else she'd have said that--she was keeping you at bay. I'd keep myself taciturnly if I was you.
Author Reltubsirch0412 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Posted May 8, 2016 (edited) Friday afternoon I was texting someone from work and accidentally texted her instead. She responded. She said she was feeling better. I decided I'd wait until Sunday afternoon to call and check on her. She said she was happy to hear from me.....but late last week, when she said she was recovering from illness, she said she severely hurt her foot....while jumping rope.....and might have to wear a medical boot. (Yeah, I know, I'm thinking the same thing....jumping rope when you've been sick?) I assumed she was blowing me off again and would say she's unable to see me soon....but she said she wants to see me again next weekend and she'd get back with me before Wednesday evening to set up the details. We'll see. I had another date yesterday. Nice woman, but I wasn't physically attracted to her, plus we're very different politically. I will press on and try talking to other women. Edited May 8, 2016 by Reltubsirch0412
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Perhaps it was fortuitous that you texted her. At least you go an explanation.
Recommended Posts