For how long should I warehouse my ex boyfriend's stuff?

[Winterina]

I broke up with him in December. It is now May. His stuff is still here. He lives in another country and never arranged for transport, never asked about stuff. He contacted me about a month ago and asked if he could get his stuff back.

I packed it up in the best way I could and gave him the dimensions of the suitcase and a box so that he could organise transport. It is all sitting in the middle of my house for weeks and he never contacted me back.

 

So I wrote and asked him to pick it up within a week or I will just have to donate it to charity... and he responded with usual manipulative tactics designed to appeal to my kindness or protection of my image as a good person or something: "don't do it to me, it is not right, I have no money, I have no address yet as I just moved, apparently you are not as good as you say you are and I am not as bad as you think I am... can we meet in the middle?"

 

This guy has been probably the worst thing that happened to me, he lied, I never had a friend and a support in him, he was good only in words never in deeds and he almost brought me to the edge of suicide. I take the blame as I always believed he would see what he was doing and change. Me idiot.

I cannot stand looking at his stuff every single day and want to get rid of any trances of his existence in my life, especially as I have moved on.

 

Anyway, the question is should I store his stuff for another month as he asked or should I do what I told him I would if he does not arrange pick up within one week?

 

Thanks for opinions.

[Gloria25]

Depends on the laws in your country/state...you don't want him taking you to civil court over damage/destruction to his property.

 

Give him official notice (via certified mail, FedEx, DHL) where you give him a reasonable time frame to pick up his stuff or it will be disposed of and he will have to pay disposal and/or storage costs.

 

Make sure that you include details like him promising to pick it up, dates, etc. Keep a copy of the letter and official confirmation of his receipt. From this point on, limit communicating via text, email (paper trail).

 

Or,

 

Sell his stuff on Craigslist, Ebay, etc or burn it...Ha, ha. Just joking

[Winterina]

No need for any official notices, email communication is proof enough.

No he is not going to sue me. He is in another country, he is broke... Would be more trouble than gain.

 

I was asking from more right and wrong point of view.

[Lady2163]

You've stored it long enough. He's known where it is and knows he can push your buttons and guilt you into keeping it for him.

 

Are there any friends or relatives in your country who can take custody of it?

[Winterina]

I sent him another email now telling him I no longer need to cater to his issues and needs and that I have already done enough. Told him to get help from someone else and get his stuff or its gone.

[GunslingerRoland]

So it's just a suitcase and a box? The guy is out of the country, is it really giving you that much grief?

[jen1447]

Anyway, the question is should I store his stuff for another month as he asked or should I do what I told him I would if he does not arrange pick up within one week?

 

Dump it!

..

[preraph]

Don't let him do you like that. He has has all this time to pay to send the stuff to him or get a storage unit. Tell him you're sticking to your 1 week time limit, and do not sign for a storage unit for him. He'll have to do it online.

 

A friend of mine has let this guy she knew years ago as a neighbor con her into the same thing, and he cleaned out a shop and put it all in her garage. For the past two years she has asked him to come get his stuff and told him she can't use her garage for her car (we have hail here every spring), and he has just refused to do it. I told her, Throw it on the curb, and she goes, "No, I can't do that, it's some good stuff (all it is is some supplies that he's probably never going to have occasion to use because they weren't his and he's not in that business.) She is a penny pincher, so she can't stand to throw anything on the curb and still has stuff from the 1950s she keeps hoping will sell in garage sales.

 

Anyway,this is going on for 2 years. This year she wrote him a letter, and he came over and got some of it, but she still can't get her car in the garage.

 

Notify him in writing that on such and such date, whatever that is, whatever he has not picked up will be donated, and stick with it. Don't reply to his next email or dicker with him about it. Put on there your contact info and tell him whoever comes to get it must call you 24 hours ahead so you'll be home." Just cover all your bases like that to show you have the best intentions. Then load it up when he never does anything and donate it. If he keeps giving you a hard time, send him a bill for your labor and gas.

[almond]

You say this guy was the worst thing to have happened to you, a liar and a manipulator, and he almost drove you to the point of suicide.

 

Fu*k his stuff. He's had more than enough time to collect it, and if it was that important he would have done so already or taken it with him in the first place. Donate it to charity, advise him it's gone, and block him from everything!

 

You should have gone NC a long time ago and this continued contact is no good for you. Get rid of his stuff, do not hesitate and do not look back. Time to move on completely now and heal.

 

End this.