I want to ask out a waitress at my favorite place , yet .....

[Audacious]

Here's another thought:

 

What if, when she said "maybe," she actually meant "maybe?"

 

I feel like sometimes, when we're the interested party, we're anxious and we want something to happen right away, and if it doesn't we just give up.

 

So, maybe suggesting you go out and giving her your number is step one. Maybe she's excited and a little intrigued, but not quite ready to text or call you. Because you like her so much, or are maybe idealizing her a bit, you feel like that's how she should act. But maybe she wants to interact with you again a few more times before giving you a call. Maybe she's waiting to see how you are the next time you go in there, if you're still friendly and flirty, or if you're going to be butt-hurt over her "maybe."

 

Maybe she has 101 other things going on in her life and going out with you isn't her #1 priority this week. Do you know anything about her outside the restaurant? Does she have kids? Is she taking care of a sick parent? Does she have to take a bus 90 minutes each way to get to and from work? Is she in night school?

 

Maybe "maybe" is no, but I dunno, I think instead of getting annoyed or defeated that she hasn't responded yet how you want her to, it may behoove you to not throw in the towel so quickly.

 

Not to sound insulting, but I feel like what you're describing is almost a fantasy. You fancy your waitress, get up the guts to give her your number, and expect her to just fall into your arms so easily. I would posit that it doesn't always work that way. I mean, you say you don't even know much about each other at all. That's like accepting a date from a stranger, which yes you could argue is most of OLD, but not everyone likes that.

 

I actually know an IRL couple who met at a restaurant. He was a regular at the NYC bar/restaurant she worked at. Flirtation morphed into friendship (then they both independently moved to LA), and over time the friendship turned into something more. But it was over a long period of time, and there was definitely more of an intent on his part to get to know her.

 

Again, I'm not tryna pick on you or anything, but I do feel as if your expectations might be a little off in this whole scenario. You've said before in this very thread that you've romanticized her, and I think that's true. But when that happens, it can easily become all about the romanticizer and their feelings.

 

 

 

 

 

First off don't be apologetic when you give your opinion, I am really cool

 

I might have but it is not a fantasy , and I realize it is fine

Whatever she might have meant it's her right , so just because I like her doesn't mean she must like me in return

 

 

Thanks

[Miss Clavel]

believe it or not, i was seeing a guy twice a week for quite awhile, then nothing. i didn't hear from him until i ran into him and he said, thank god i ran into you, i dropped my phone in water and i haven't got anyone's number. we picked right back up where we left off. however, and i did see the phone wet, why didn't he just drive by my place and knock on the door?

 

p.s. i don't know anyone's number by heart besides my mom, my job and my kids. i speak into the phone and it dials the number. so, if i didn't have my phone i'd have to poast a message and ask others to call me.

 

just reaching, i know, audacious, but maybe the paper you wrote your number on got wet or she lost it.

 

go ask her. just say, "i'm sorry i haven't heard from you". nothing more. because, that's the truth.

 

and i didn't read where you asked if she was in a relationship or seeing someone or if you know for a fact that she's not gay? there are a few other reasons why she didn't call including "she's just not into you".

[Audacious]

believe it or not, i was seeing a guy twice a week for quite awhile, then nothing. i didn't hear from him until i ran into him and he said, thank god i ran into you, i dropped my phone in water and i haven't got anyone's number. we picked right back up where we left off. however, and i did see the phone wet, why didn't he just drive by my place and knock on the door?

 

p.s. i don't know anyone's number by heart besides my mom, my job and my kids. i speak into the phone and it dials the number. so, if i didn't have my phone i'd have to poast a message and ask others to call me.

 

just reaching, i know, audacious, but maybe the paper you wrote your number on got wet or she lost it.

 

go ask her. just say, "i'm sorry i haven't heard from you". nothing more. because, that's the truth.

 

and i didn't read where you asked if she was in a relationship or seeing someone or if you know for a fact that she's not gay? there are a few other reasons why she didn't call including "she's just not into you".

 

 

 

You had to complicate the situation by throwing the possibility of her being guy ! Lol ( I didn't think of that to be honest) .

 

 

I will do that soon , hopefully I'd get a positive response:) if not I would wish her the best .

 

 

Hectic days are about to be done at work so I would have enough time to go there and talk to her .

 

 

I reiterate what I said , if she happened to be not there " magically " then I want ask them to call her for me ...

[Audacious]

@ Miss Clavel :

 

It's a very unlikely scenario though, it would be wishful thinking on my part to think that the number accidentally was lost .

 

 

- hey , this is the guy that I like so much , he wants to talk to me and send from me , he gave me his number ( finally ) , I am just gonna be careless about it instead of immediately saving it on my phone ?

 

 

^ that is really irrational.

[Audacious]

UPDATE: I went there , she was on the floor but I didn't know which tables she was waiting, I sat down anywas another waitress brought my food .

 

 

Afterwards ,she came and said hi , told her that I didn't hear from her , she said sorry , so I asked her out again , told her she can't say maybe this time ( smiling) . She said that she is still thinking ( Wtf?) . I asked for her number and I could not believe how equivocal she was .

And then said well I got your number , I smiled an looked her in the eyes and told her I am gonna wait one more week and then ...

At this point I thought that we are just rolling a donut .

 

 

She said she didn't have time to go out last week, which I think is BS . Nobody is that busy .

 

 

So this gal is either unbelievably indecisive or unbelievably manipulative , in both cases , I'll let this thing go .

 

 

The whole thing was going smooth , it wasn't awkward or anything. It went just like the movies but the gal just wouldn't give me a yes , as I thought it might have been pushy of me but , I had to go the extra mile , there won't be anymore of the same in the future, I have tried my best , just came short I guess .

[d0nnivain]

It sounds like you did well in your own control, handling the situation & taking affirmative steps to achieve your goal.

 

Alas she sounds . . . let's go with not worth the effort.

 

Congratulations to you though for having wherewithal, strength of character & perseverance. No matter what she says or does you need to be proud of yourself!

[Audacious]

It sounds like you did well in your own control, handling the situation & taking affirmative steps to achieve your goal.

 

Alas she sounds . . . let's go with not worth the effort.

 

Congratulations to you though for having wherewithal, strength of character & perseverance. No matter what she says or does you need to be proud of yourself!

 

I am ? I just wish for her to go for it ,because I truly like her . Anyways it is what it is

[Audacious]

It sounds like you did well in your own control, handling the situation & taking affirmative steps to achieve your goal.

 

Alas she sounds . . . let's go with not worth the effort.

 

Congratulations to you though for having wherewithal, strength of character & perseverance. No matter what she says or does you need to be proud of yourself!

 

I am ? I just wish for her to go for it ,because I truly like her . Anyways it is what it is

[Jabron1]

Mate, you cold approached a waitress. Cold approaches are fairly low percentage. It's going to be really, really, low percentage if you don't ask for her number.

 

But the point is... you just cold approached a waitress. That took balls. That drive is far more important than this woman. You just aren't seeing the bigger picture...

 

One issue that I'd raise is that you have some funny ideas about exchanging numbers with women.

 

I don't think it was a mistake giving her my number , again , she would have texted but she didn't so ....

 

Yeah, it was. It was a mistake.

 

Giving a girl your number is letting her take the lead. It's not what she wants, and it shouldn't be what you want (as is evidenced throughout this thread).

 

You put yourself in a grey area. If you ask for her number, she either gives it to you or not. If you invite her on a date, she either accepts or doesn't. If you go for a kiss, she either kisses you or turns away.

 

Guys really shouldn't be worrying about 'does she like me?'. That's a woman's thing that men seem to have picked up for some reason. Worry about results instead.

 

In future, always ask for her number.

 

Some girls might try to be clever and say 'no, you give me your number' or something like that. It's just a sh*t test, and you deal with it by laughing like you would at a naughty child.

 

Don't give her your number without getting hers.

 

To be honest I hate this whole " game " thing , I could be simple or naive but I just don't like to look at dating as a game , I don't wanna " play" , I just want to tell the one that I like how I feel and see how it goes ,

I hate the planning , the mind games , the ifs and buts , the whole thing .

 

 

I just want someone that I can be spontaneous around , that I can be myself and won't have to wear a b$ll**** social mask .

 

 

[smudge21]

Onwards and upwards my friend. Should be easier now come the next time you see a lady you like, and now you know to get their number first.

 

As for this one, well no more chasing or showing interest. You made your intentions clear and she didn't step up (she also didn't shut you down, but that just comes off as being flaky and possibly looking for options). Next time you see her, be polite but distant. No more asking. If she wants to see you, it's up to her to ask now. In the meantime, go find someone who actually does want to start dating.

[Audacious]

But the point is... you just cold approached a waitress. That took balls. That drive is far more important than this woman. You just aren't seeing the bigger picture...

 

admittedly , yes , I never thought about it , it was really cool .

 

Don't give her your number without getting hers.

 

Yes , that is the lesson I've learned albeit , the hard way but no lesson worth learning if it wasn't learned the hard way .

 

Thanks for replying pal , I enjoyed reading your posts

[Audacious]

Onwards and upwards my friend. Should be easier now come the next time you see a lady you like, and now you know to get their number first.

 

As for this one, well no more chasing or showing interest. You made your intentions clear and she didn't step up (she also didn't shut you down, but that just comes off as being flaky and possibly looking for options). Next time you see her, be polite but distant. No more asking. If she wants to see you, it's up to her to ask now. In the meantime, go find someone who actually does want to start dating.

 

That's exactly what I am gonna do , I highly doubt there will be any interaction between me and her in the future , I know that she'll avoid me at all costs what I visit ,not that I care .

 

Thanks my friend , I appreciate it

[truth_seeker]

As for this one, well no more chasing or showing interest. You made your intentions clear and she didn't step up (she also didn't shut you down, but that just comes off as being flaky and possibly looking for options). Next time you see her, be polite but distant. No more asking. If she wants to see you, it's up to her to ask now. In the meantime, go find someone who actually does want to start dating.

 

In fairness, the girl doesn't know him, might assume he's a player or if she calls/texts him after taking his number, comes off as easy... plus, if she does get in touch with him it might make her look bad at her job. She's a waitress getting guys numbers and calling them? Not a good look.

 

I think even if she does like him, she's not going to make a move. In her mind, she has to get to know him more. Might take months for him to get her.

[truth_seeker]

Giving a girl your number is letting her take the lead. It's not what she wants, and it shouldn't be what you want (as is evidenced throughout this thread).

 

You put yourself in a grey area. If you ask for her number, she either gives it to you or not. If you invite her on a date, she either accepts or doesn't. If you go for a kiss, she either kisses you or turns away.

 

Guys really shouldn't be worrying about 'does she like me?'. That's a woman's thing that men seem to have picked up for some reason. Worry about results instead.

 

In future, always ask for her number.

 

Some girls might try to be clever and say 'no, you give me your number' or something like that. It's just a sh*t test, and you deal with it by laughing like you would at a naughty child.

 

Don't give her your number without getting hers.

 

Yes, it was a mistake giving her his number without getting hers... but he did plant a seed. If she is at all interested, she might come around and give him a chance... a chance to make up for that mistake >>> he asks her for her number

[GemmaUK]

I reiterate what I said , if she happened to be not there " magically " then I want ask them to call her for me ...

 

OP, please don't ever even consider doing this - not ever!

 

Also, to chime in with something else. Have you ever considered that it's against company policy for an employee to fraternise with a customer in a dating sense?

I worked at a place part time when I was younger and this was the policy even back then - back in the late 80's!

If you find someone you are attracted to it's never a good idea to ask them out whilst they are at work.

[LookAtThisPOst]

to it's never a good idea to ask them out whilst they are at work.

 

Yeah, just best for you to wait for them to get off their shift.

[Audacious]

She wasn't worth it , and I completely lost interest in her .

I can go now and sit down and she is like any other waitress at that place ....

 

feeling relieved

[Mind-Chants]

Yup, Nothing should come above "FOODGASM". Enjoy!